dr_loomis7 Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 It's been a while since I posted but I have a relationship issue that only ENA can help me with. To start off, a lady emailed me on okcupid and we exchange a few emails. She is new to the dating scene after getting divorced a couple of years ago. We went on two really good dates and she said she wanted to see me again. The day we were supposed to meet, she called and told me she had to work late and would reschedule. She contacted me four days later and told me she had a series of things going on such as her aunt dying, her workload increasing (she informed me when we first started talking that it is not unusual for her to work 7 days a week up to 10 hours a day), etc. that all happened in the span of a week. During the call, we talked about her being so busy and having the time to date or be in a relationship with someone. She said she wanted to and was hoping that things would calm down or she could transfer to a less stressful position. She asked if she could call me at work and told me I could call her if I had any downtime. The next day, I texted her my desk phone number and told her she could text as well. Two days later after not hearing from her, I called and left a VM. It has now been five days since I've heard from her. We had discussed going to lunch on the 4th since she will be working. She told me to call her Wednesday morning to find out, but am wondering should I bother? Is it really possible for someone to be that busy or is she just not interested?
notimeman Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 That always happens with online dating; women tend to be very flaky. You should probably leave her alone and try to meet other women. Eventually you'll find someone that has no problems meeting you.
amipushy Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 If you were genuinely interested in someone, would you let "a series of things going on" prevent you from texting a quick hello? Even if she does reply after all this time, you will be just a second thought so I wouldn't bother taking things further. Put it down to experience and keep fishing.
SuperDuper Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I'd leave it. You texted her and then called and left a VM... there's not much else you can do. If she really wants to see you Wednesday then she'll realize the ball is in her court and she'll reach out. If she doesn't contact you tomorrow then at least you know she's either not interested or supremely busy. Both aren't great qualities to have in a relationship. Move on and pursue other women. If you hear back from her eventually, then great, go from there if you'd like.
The_Seeker Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 I'd leave it. You texted her and then called and left a VM... there's not much else you can do. If she really wants to see you Wednesday then she'll realize the ball is in her court and she'll reach out. If she doesn't contact you tomorrow then at least you know she's either not interested or supremely busy. Both aren't great qualities to have in a relationship. Move on and pursue other women. If you hear back from her eventually, then great, go from there if you'd like. Both genders are flaky as well. My guy only emails me despite the act he doesn't call/text. So I'm going multi date other people. It's my best strategy. Besides who can say no to boys of summer? ;] Definitely have more options. Keep her as an option if you like her. If not, keep her as a friend. LOL If really not, then drop her like it's hot ha ha. I'm doing the same thing. Online dating is tough. Don't get push around. Set your boundaries. Good luck.
dr_loomis7 Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 Update on this, received below message this morning from her: "Arg. Hoped to get call in this a.m. but between court, jail, clients im swamped! Currently on hold for judge then to booking. I'm still hopeful about lunch - to to u soon!" It appears she still wants to do lunch so now I'm wondering if and how I should bring this up. I like to have some communication between dates but am wondering if I'm looking for something too soon as we've only been on 2 dates. Thoughts?
The_Seeker Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Update on this, received below message this morning from her: "Arg. Hoped to get call in this a.m. but between court, jail, clients im swamped! Currently on hold for judge then to booking. I'm still hopeful about lunch - to to u soon!" It appears she still wants to do lunch so now I'm wondering if and how I should bring this up. I like to have some communication between dates but am wondering if I'm looking for something too soon as we've only been on 2 dates. Thoughts? Get the time and date. No time and date means no date.
dr_loomis7 Posted July 4, 2012 Author Posted July 4, 2012 Final update...for now. Seeker, we had planned on going to lunch on the 4th since she was working and I was off, received text this morning: "Hi & happy 4th! I'm stuck here for EVER it feels like no lunch for me today. I'm so burned out right now. I'm really sorry I'm so busy" To which I replied: "Was hoping to see you today and I'm off tomorrow as well. Give me a call/text when we can up again" I suppose we'll see. Ball is in her court now.
The_Seeker Posted July 4, 2012 Posted July 4, 2012 Final update...for now. Seeker, we had planned on going to lunch on the 4th since she was working and I was off, received text this morning: "Hi & happy 4th! I'm stuck here for EVER it feels like no lunch for me today. I'm so burned out right now. I'm really sorry I'm so busy" To which I replied: "Was hoping to see you today and I'm off tomorrow as well. Give me a call/text when we can up again" I suppose we'll see. Ball is in her court now. Uh there is a thing called dinner?
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