dietcokenom Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 We'd been together for 17 months and I believed he was my soul mate. He left his job and traveled accross the world to be with me (where I was working at the time). I remember the way he would look at me... almost in admiration and just say I love you soo much. We spoke about our future, marriage, kids etc. I love him with all my heart and always will. We had a tough time recently and things turned ugly. We would argue and make up regularly and it was making us both unhappy. We were broke, he lost his job, we were living with his mum in a tiny apartment. It was horrible. Suddenly we were over - initially it was mutual but then I regretted it but he wanted nothing more to do with me. I cried, I begged, I did everything I shouldn't have but nothing. He said he wouldn't be made to feel guilty if he wasn't happy. Anyways, I contacted him every few days - stupid reasons really. I called him a few times when I was drunk too. I can't bear the thought of him not being in my life anymore, I dont know how to behave as I have never felt soo broken before. On Sunday I went out, got drunk and called him and told him I hated him etc. I met him yesterday and he had said he was sick of it and right now he doesn't even know if he wants to be my friend because of everything that has happened post breakup. He said he isn't feeling anything because things usually hit him after 1 or 2 months but right now I'm still there so he can't feel anything. I told him that I'm finding it hard to move on and I'm still angry at him for just giving up and he said that he tried for as long as he could. He said we needed space away from each other to concentrate on ourselves. I agree with that and I know I need to back off. I told him I would delete his number. Anyways, he had a train to catch even though I hadn't finished saying what I wanted to... he said 'well meet me on Friday and we can talk then'. I told him that I wasn't too sure but he said 'look meet me on Friday please'. So now I'm meeting him on Friday..... I want to give him our pictures and all the cards he wrote me.. I cry whenever I look at them and I now I can't continue like this. I really want Friday to be special as it will be the last time I see him. Like a mad woman, I still feel like Friday gives me a little hope. I'm so pathetic and I hate that I feel like this.
pippy longstocking Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 darling I know how hard this is ,but don't go with any big drama ..like taking the pics and cards... why ? your just throwing back at him what he did for you ...it will do you no good ....put them all away somewhere until you can either keep them or throw them, but turning up with them ..well your just stressing him out even more . go and listen to what he has to say ...that is all you can do ..xx love to you , your in so much pain I know ...but you have to keep a clear head for friday
dietcokenom Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 *sigh* yeah I don't want him to think I'm throwing it back at him. He works in the City and I definitely don't want to be in a loud environment so I'm thinking driving to the coast or something (about an hour away). I don't want to seem dramatic but I really do want Friday to be special as it means soo much to me. Knowing that he'll be gone from my life after that is soo hard to bear right now. I'm angry that he doesn't feel anything and I'm feeling like this.
pippy longstocking Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 oh bless you ..I just read your other thread ... there is nothing you can do but respect his wishes ... I know , I really really do ...it is like a living hell isn't it .. you haven't got any control , like me ...they called it a day so of course they have at least that little bit of control over it all ...we don't ...all we can do is keep our self respect and walk on . It doesn't mean they are not in pain or finding it hard . meet him , have a nice drive , talk ..walk away with whatever he says because there is nothing else you can do , and we will all be here to help you through xx I am getting all teary eyed here because I know how hard this is xx
dasilver Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Breaking up is really hard to do.... I'm sorry that you're in pain right now but you must be strong and mature about your talk this Friday.... How you break up may set the tone concerning if you might get back together. Handle yourself well on Friday, put your feelings and emotions aside and listen with logic and understanding to what he is going to be telling you.... You don't even have to respond on Friday....Just nod your head and then go home and think about everything he's said.... Remember, the way you break up may set the tone concerning if you'll get back together.... Good luck...
Live-N-Learn Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 I would not give him anything back like the cards and stuff...its too dramatic and full of emotion....just put them away or burn them....if you are all emotional on Friday this will not go well. I can assure you he is preparing himself for you to be emo...If you are not you may have a chance in the future. Do the opposite and tell him you respect his decision and wish him well. Tell him you will not be calling him and do not want to be friends in the foreseen future. Do not put yourself in the friendship pain zone. You will delay your healing. Tell him you will contact him if you want friendship down the road but you need time right now to work on your own healing.
dietcokenom Posted July 3, 2012 Author Posted July 3, 2012 Thank you all soo much for your advise. I will not be taking the cards or photos as you are right, it will be dramatic. I won't be asking for another chance or anything like that because I know it's not going to happen. I just need to say my goodbyes and then start the healing process. I haven't truly accepted it's over in my heart but Friday is me letting go. Just thinking about never seeing him again breaks my heart and gives me this horrible feeling in my stomach... I really do want him to be happy and for that I need to let go.
markfromark Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 We'd been together for 17 months and I believed he was my soul mate. We had a tough time recently and things turned ugly. Just shows you that soul mates do not exist, or that people have no ability to detect them.
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