Am I doing this right?

[BlahBlah123]

Let me try to make a long story short...

 

I was with my now ex boyfriend for nearly 3 years. We met in college, and were together for our first 3 years of college. We lived together for 2 of those years. We got into a fight in February of this year, broke up, and then immediately afterwards decided we wanted to work it out and be together. We didn't officially get back together, but he ended up going to counseling and we genuinely tried until June to work out or issues. In May I moved out, but we still stayed exclusively together without the title. In June I moved for 2 months for a job, and I'm moving back to our town in August. I had planned on going to see him this past weekend for over a month, everything was set, and then last tuesday he sent me a text "Don't come see me, I don't want anything to do with you". I can't say I didn't see it coming, he was acting really flaky for the past few weeks before that. Pretty much as soon as I left for this job he did a 180 and acted like he wanted nothing to do with me. Initially before we even broke up I begged him to tell me what was wrong, why he flipped, why he acted like he wanted nothing to do with me. He assured me he was just busy, stressed, whatever, and still loved me and wanted to work on things.

 

I got that text as I was leaving work for the day, sat in my car and cried for a while. I knew I didn't want to act crazy so I sent him a text back saying "Ok, let's just finish this up now" and asked about a couple of things we needed to clear up, just a money issue and some things of mine I let him borrow. He complained about wanting to keep my money because of a broken thing in the apartment we used to share, which I pretty much disregarded since it's up to my landlord and not him. I told him I was going to come up that weekend I had planned on coming to get my stuff so we didn't have to see each other again, and just as a side note I was totally cool about this just saying "I'm just going to get my stuff this weekend since I have time off work and I don't want to wait until August to get it", and he totally flipped out via text. He was like "You're the stupidest person I know if you come up here this weekend", "I won't **** your stuff up just come get it in August". But it's making me really uncomfortable that my stuff is there and he's using it and we aren't together anymore. It is an inconvenient trip because it's a few hours each way, but I don't want to have to see him again in August and I'm not sure why he would want to wait either. If he doesn't want to be with me I just want to sever it now and not deal with it later. Why would he be so demanding that I wait until August?

 

Anyway, since that conversation I haven't talked to him, and it has now been a week. In all honesty it hurts a lot, but I'm glad I haven't broke down and talked to him. It sucks a lot that he hasn't tried to get in contact with me, but at this point I don't really expect him to. I have been trying to get over this the best I can, working hard, going out with friends, pretending to be upbeat (fake it till ya make it, right?), I even got asked out on a few dates (which I didn't go on, but still haha). But deep down it hurts like hell. We have been through a lot of rough times but we always stayed together. I really trusted him.

 

So I guess I just had to rant about that, but any advice would be appreciated. Am I doing the right thing? What should I do about getting my stuff? Wait or just go and get it over with like I want to? Should I be trying to talk to him?

[dbfc]

Can you get someone to get your things for you? that would be much easier then you dont have to see him,i personally couldnt wait another month to get my things because seeing him will only put you further back in your healing. So i would say get a friend or family member to pick your things up,or if they aint that valuable or mean something to you then just leave it be until your over him. Hope that helps.

[BlahBlah123]

Can you get someone to get your things for you? that would be much easier then you dont have to see him,i personally couldnt wait another month to get my things because seeing him will only put you further back in your healing. So i would say get a friend or family member to pick your things up,or if they aint that valuable or mean something to you then just leave it be until your over him. Hope that helps.

 

I wish I could, but unfortunately my friends/family are also just as far from there as I am. The things that are there are valuable, it's all of my pots/pans, silverware, cooking utensils, pretty much everything kitchen and bath related of mine is there. We agreed I'd leave it for him to use over the summer because he didn't have the money to buy ones when I moved out. Stupid me, trying to be nice really bit me in the butt. I can't understand why he would want to keep my stuff until August, you'd think if he doesn't want anything to with me he'd just want me to get my **** and get out. He probably just wants to use my stuff for as long as he can, what a ****.

[dbfc]

Who knows what his intentions are,if you are desperate for them back then just go get them,what the worst that can happen? when me and my ex broke up i made sure everything of hers was gone asap,even the little things,just so she had no excuse to come get them,luckily she had nothing of mine either. As much as it hurts i would just go get your stuff and then deal with the pain,holding back another month will only prolong things,hence why i gave my horrrible ex's things back straight away.

[Gandaako]

I had a similar situation regarding my ex and my stuff. I wanted my stuff back like its the end of the world if i dont get it But honestly I was using my stuff as an excuse to see him again. All my friends stopped me for going back to his place to get what I needed to get. If not having your stuff is not going to kill you or make you incapable of living your everyday life then you don't need it. I got my stuff back a few months later, that was when I had no feelings for him anymore and I know I would not make myself look crazy in front of him.