what do you think of this?

[lila...]

I've been on 5 dates with a guy over the course of almost 2 months. I'm attracted to him, him to me as well. I like spending time with him, and I have fun, but I'm taking things as they go and not expecting too much. Our last date went well, we went to the beach and spent most of the evening hanging out. We later went back to his apartment and started watching a movie, but since I didn't feel like getting intimate that day, I left soon and at the door told him he didn't have to walk me to grab a taxi. I fully expected him to insist anyway, it being the gentlemanly thing to do, but he said ok and went back inside. I was left shocked and confused, so, feeling that I had nothing to lose I texted him on my way home asking if he was only looking for something casual. This is the text conversation: "Are you looking for something casual?" "I don't limit myself to 'something casual', I want to see where things go naturally." Me-"Ok. It just seemed like it to me. Thanks for clarifying." Him-"You're a fun girl to hang out with."

Should I just keep "going with the flow"? Or does it sound like it's headed towards a casual type of thing? We do have fun when we're together but we don't talk/text in between our dates and when it's time for our goodbyes sometimes he doesn't even say anything and just leaves! It's kind of rude. He is a nice and smart guy, but his manners/etiquette leaves me perplexed sometimes.

[grouchface]

Reading this made me have a flashback of a similar confusing dating scenario in my own life. I thought we were dating but it wasn't quite the case, which was confusing. I never understood what he wanted until much later and after he broke my heart. It turned out that years after we briefly "dated" he wrote to me and said he had his reasons but was sorry things ended the way they did. It was a tough time in his life and even though he thought I was everything he could want, he pushed me away due to personal problems, which he explained. I hope this helps. It's only one scenario and every man is different. Interestingly, it was only after I was engaged that he wrote to me and spilled the beans. However, my fiance is ready for me, doesn't let me down, and isn't an uncommunicative mystery.

[Ms Darcy]

Too vague. I don't have time for games.

 

If I were you I would tell him in person that I am interested in a relationship. If he answers that he is interested too, then I would continue. If anything less then I would move on.

[SuperDuper]

This part caught my attention

... started watching a movie, but since I didn't feel like getting intimate that day, I left soon and at the door told him he didn't have to walk me to grab a taxi. I fully expected him to insist anyway, it being the gentlemanly thing to do, but he said ok and went back inside. I was left shocked and confused, so, feeling that I had nothing to lose I texted him on my way home asking if he was only looking for something casual.

 

My point in bolding those parts is because he could have interpreted your behaviour as you being uninterested in anything above casual. When you say "since I didn't feel like getting intimate"... it sounds as if that's what you were expecting would have definitely happened if you had stuck around. So you left his place with the mindset of "I think he wants me but I'm not in the mood"... but with him simple gesture of saying "Ok" and not walking you to your taxi, you're now left shocked. I just feel like... what's a man to do? He could very well like you but then you leave HIM wondering, and then question HIM on if he wants something casual. He's probably confused about your intentions at this point and isn't 'sure what to say.

 

He says he doesn't want to limit himself to casual, and says "see where things go"... as in progression. He maybe just thought you were leaving soon because you're uncomfortable and therefore he complied to your statement of not walking you to the taxi. To me it sounds like you want him to open up first, and that you don't want to be confused about his intentions even though you're likely confusing him as well.

 

My point is, something's gotta give here if you two are going to move forward. It might only take a willingness on both your parts to go with the flow. Have fun with each other and if things escalate naturally then go with it; not much else you can do besides that.

[FYI]

Why are you confused? Shocked?

 

Youtold him not to worry about waiting with you for a cab. That would've been the right thing for him to do, but you told him not to. Next time, don't play games. You'll get to the bottom of someone much easier and quicker if you just come out with what you need from them and then watch their reactions. Not ask them to do one thing when you really mean another and judge them based on how well they can read your mind.