Should I respond?

[LSgirl]

I want to start out by saying that neither me or my ex would like to get back together. It was more of a mutual break-up after a year. The reason was that he couldn't love me the way I loved him and he knew I deserved better. He had not fully healed from his 8 year engagement with his ex-fiancee when we had gotten together. I finally walked away and he understood. We broke up over 4 months ago.

 

Since the day of the breakup I never once talked to him. I felt very proud that I never responded to him when he reached out a couple times. But the only time he reached out was 1) six days post breakup telling me how sorry and pathetic he felt and ashamed for what he did and how I was better off and a great person and hoped I could talk to him again one day, then 2) about two months later he sent an e-mail saying that he had just gotten an old e-mail from me that 'yahoo must have lost and just sent out' haha and hoped all was well with me, was only like 2 sentences.

 

This past Friday, me and my friend were driving by downtown to go to an event and I saw my ex standing on the street (he works in downtown) but he didn't see me as I was in the car. That was the 1st time I had seen him since the breakup. Then today, my e-mail sent out a spam e-mail to everyone on my contacts list that included my ex. He wrote back saying:

 

Uh o, I think your account has been Hijacked. And I was hoping you wanted to say hi Well I hope all is well with ya and you know how to get a hold of me if you ever want too.

 

I feel like there's nothing to respond to or to gain by responding. He knows I have ignored his other small contacts towards me but they were never anything worth responding to including this. On one hand, I feel like I should be friendly and write back so he doesn't think I hate him. On the other hand, I couldn't care less if he thought I hated him since I suffered enough in the relationship and don't want him to know anything about me. I'm leaning more towards not responding and staying proud that I haven't contacted him or would that just be immature, but what would I really gain from talking to him? I know I wouldn't be comfortable being friends and meeting up with him anyway.

[Sportster2005]

I believe you are correct when you state there will be nothing gained. And judging by the tone or your ex's attempts at communication he still carries a torch for you. No matter how you respond it would likely give him false hope. That could unleash a series of events best left alone.

 

I'm sure he doesn't think you hate him. Not hearing from an ex is just a sad fact of life. It sounds like he is mature and there was no post break up drama. Nope, I'd be really surprised if he thought that.

[LSgirl]

Hi, thanks for responding. What does it mean to carry a torch? I had stronger feelings than he did in the relationship. I walked away because he said he didn't love me and I had to pick up what self-respect I had left and walk away. I think he genuinely felt bad about it and probably doesn't want me to hate him. The reason I say that is because I never said goodbye to him or anything. The day he sent me an e-mail that he didn't love me and saying 'we got together because we didn't want to be alone' was hurtful and damaging to me that I didn't think there was anything left to say. I deleted my Facebook, never replied to the e-mail and moved on with my life. I still think of him time to time but we would never get back together. He is very mature and avoids any kind of drama. I know he knows I was a good person to him so he feels somewhat sad that I don't want him in my life by ignoring him, but I wasn't sure if not responding would be immature of me either. I thought maybe about telling him how I saw him 3 days ago but then I thought, so what?