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I'll be better off dead


Ilongo

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If you are 18 or older, can you go to the unemployment office and check the job postings there? Those postings are from companies that actually are hiring. Have you seen "help wanted" signs at delis or restaurants - I always see one in at least one window. Yes, the turnover may be high, but if stick with it, you will get yourself in a better situation and its a start towards the next thing. If you are in college, you might find job postings at school. Also, if your mom's ex boyfriend lets you crash there, that's someone who wants you around as he thought enough to take you in even though your mom is no longer with him. Can he give you advice? What about volunteering? It can lead you to a job with someone who volunteers with you or is good resume credit?

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What scares me about your message more than anything is that someone who HAS attempted suicide, your message has the attitude of someone on the verge, meaning the sense of apathy... I was there too... I always thought being on the "edge" would feel like intense pain, misery, crying or something of the sort... but I never cried a tear that day until after I tried... my emotions ran cold... I knew what I wanted to do and nothing was stopping me... thats a weird and scary feeling but it all melted away when I woke up in the ER and saw my friends and family there, heartbroken... I was too physically sick to say much but I was just beating myself up inside for even trying it... its a day that still haunts me to a degree... I just want to convince you that ITS NOT WORTH IT!!

 

ITS NEVER WORTH IT AND THERE ARE WAYS TO HELP YOURSELF THORUGH OTHERS AND THROUGH YOUR INNER STRENGTH... as someone who's been there, please feel free to PM me or anything. The others who responded are also there for you. You are not alone

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I've been there too Ilongo, and it was the worst, scariest, loneliest place in the world. It took awhile but I got through it and you will too. Please call someone near you. Suicide hotline, medical doctor, clergy, counselor... anyone. You need someone to talk to who is professional. We can listen and help here and your friends and family can too, as much as possible, but to really get through it you need to talk to someone who can help objectively. As much as this site is helpful, it isn't the same as talking to a person in real time. Feel free to PM me as well, I'll help you find resources where you live. You are going to be ok, I promise.

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