Does he like me? I need advice!

[monkey91]

To start out, I am a 21 and he is 20. He is extremely good looking and is such a gentleman; raised in a good family and brought up right. I grew up in a good, conservative family too. I always keep it classy and I have an outgoing personality.

 

We go to the same college and met at a bar one night through his friends. He got my number that night and texted me a couple days later apologizing for being annoying and obnoxious because he was drunk that night. (Even though he wasn't annoying at all. Also, he always seems to care way too much what I think) Then he asked me when the next time I was going out and when I told him he said he was looking forward to running into me.

Like I said, this guy is very good looking, but seems to get nervous around me. He's always blushing and gets choked up sometimes while talking to me. Guys are always coming up to me at the bar while I'm talking to him because, well I have dated some of them or because they are just being flirtatious...which I think he picks up on, but I am just friendly back to them.

 

The thing that I'm confused about is that when we are out at the bars, we talk the entire time and he always asks me to stay the night with him at his place. I've stayed at his place 4 times and he has never tried to make a move on me because he's a good guy. All we would do is flirt, talk, and cuddle. And he loves tickling and teasing me...which is a sign that he's shy.

But he never asks me to hang out during the day! And I don't understand why because when we are together we stay up for hours talking and flirting and everything seems to be perfect. He occasionally texts me ( every couple days) to see if I'm going out...once again we only hang out at the bar.

 

The last night I stayed with him he kissed me all night, but that was it. He went home the following day for the summer( which is 5 hours away) and I didn't hear from him for 3 weeks. He has a job and is busy so I understand there's really no point in having a relationship through texts, but he could still ask how I'm doing from time-to-time.

And just to throw this in there, I hardly ever text him first because I've never had to chase a guy. And if I do, I'm just friendly because he is friendly when he texts me so I don't want to flirt through a text and seem stupid.

 

It has been 3 weeks and he texted me out of the blue an extremely long text that said "I was a little drunk that night I kissed you and I didn't control myself very well. I don't want you to think I'm that kind of guy and I wasn't trying to hook up with you..kissing you just happened. I know I'm thinking into this too much but I haven't talked to you in a while and I feel better now. I hope you've been having a good summer." After reading this I responded saying he's a great guy and always has a lot of respect for me.

 

Well, we chatted a bit about our summer and that was it. I haven't heard from him since. I just don't know if he likes me or if he's just being nice. What should I do? Help!

[SuperDuper]

Why don't you ask him? If he's as respectful as you claim then he won't think you're weird or stupid for asking a perfectly logical question.

 

Anybody in your situation would want to know his intentions, but since he's shy maybe he's waiting for you to match his pace, or perhaps initiate once in awhile? He may be the type of guy who needs some reassurance sometimes. Besides, you said yourself he cares what you think a lot.

[monkey91]

I understand where you're coming from, but I show that I like him by my actions so wouldn't that be reassurance? I just don't want to scare him away by pursuing him.

[Keyman]

Some guys like a girl to make some of the moves, especially early on in the play. He does sound like a genuine guy and not the typical guy who just hits on anything in a skirt in hope of getting something.

 

He definitely likes you and I am sure he would like something more, but some guys need an active assurance or even a verbal one before they can proceed. Your passive approach might make him feel like you are not interested and he doesn't want to scare you away by being too forward.