Struggling to accept a breakup. Need advice.

[Taylor10]

I dated this guy for almost two years. Everything was perfect. We spent everyday together. I could see myself being with him for the rest of my life.

 

About a year in half into the relationship we began to fight more often. At the end of the relationship we could barely speak to each other. I would try to talk things out with him and he would ignore me. The fighting intensified and at one point got physical. The first time he put his hands on me he cried because he was so ashamed. Now he can push me to the ground and not blink an eye. He is very different from the guy he used to be and maybe I am as well.

 

Anyways, we broke up and he refused to speak to me about anything. I said everything you could possibly think of to make him come back (bad idea, I know). I was absolutely heartbroken. He had a rebound relationship and during that time I had sex with a friend one time. I was an emotional wreck and if it had not been for the state I was in, this probably wouldn't have happened. Weeks later we began talking again and decided to start dating again. I told him what had happened before things became serious. I thought it was the right thing to do. He was very upset but agreed to try and forgive me. The relationship lasted about a month.

 

We are no longer together and he again refuses to talk to me. When he does he says "you are not mine anymore". I had sex with someone while he refused to talk to me and had a girlfriend. I feel that this is somewhat unfair but that may be just me.

 

I really want him to come back but i dont know what else I can say. I have apologized repeatedly. Please help. Thanks.

[saturnlily]

There is nothing you can do. You can't make someone be with you if they don't want to.

 

He sounds very manipulative, giving double standards and making you feel like crap.

 

Give him what he wants and give him space. Stop texting/calling/facebooking him. Cut him off.

[gluestick]

Don't go back to someone who uses force against women. It's not right. You already know this. By wanting him back and going back to him, you're telling him that it's okay to push you on the ground and beat you because you don't value your self-worth or have enough respect for yourself to walk away.

[eggsandcheese]

I am learning a word that's been said to me, and I'll say it to you: run. He's abusive and you don't deserve this. He's controlling and he's trying to punish you, manipulating you to feel like you've done something wrong. He did a lot of wrong, you didn't. Run and don't look back.

[Ms Darcy]

I think you should talk to a counselor to help you move on from an unhealthy, abusive relationship.