Loners Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 As the title says. Do women find it weird and a turnoff if you don't drink alcohol? And would even consider dating a guy who doesn't drink? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sara-pezzini Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 i find it more a turn on when he doesn't drink...i don't drink myself and i don't really like a guy who does drink and gets drunk and all that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavenderdove Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Nope, not at all! I find it a turnoff if the guy drinks too much or drinking holds too important a role in his life. I've never ruled out a guy who doesn't drink, but i have ruled out guys who drank too much and dumped them. If a guy has more than one drink a night or has drinking as a large part of his social life with others, then he's not for me because I don't want anything to do with an alcoholic. btw, i do think it is relatively normal for young people (i.e., up thru the end of college) to spend way too much time and focus on drinking and drinking activities, but once they are out of college and in the 'real' world, it should really slack off and not be a big part of their lives. If it is, then they are at risk for alcholism and alcoholism can ruin people's lives so I'm just not interested in getting on that crazy train with anyone, so avoid people who have drinking as a big social activity for themselves. If someone realizes drinking isn't for him and doesn't drink, then good for him and I certainly wouldn't hold it against him for not drinking. Anyone who NEEDS to drink to have fun or needs their friends to drink should take that as a big red flag that they're on the road to being an alcoholic. I've dated some guys who i discovered NEEDED to drink at every social opportunity and on every date, and those got cut out fairly quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 No I wouldn't consider it a turn off. Although I would prefer if he does drink moderately, as it would be nice if we can let loose at the local pub once in a while, or go to a classy wine tasting event together or something. But I do know quite a few people that would prefer if a guy doesn't drink. It really depends on whether the girl herself likes to drink or considers it an important part of her social life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TearsofFate Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I drink moderately, but I think it depends on how much you are attracted to the person. I once met a guy who didn't drink, and I liked him so much I stopped drinking moderately Usually though, it doesn't matter to me whether they drink or not. If they drink too much (over twice a month in my opinion, that is too much for me). No such thing as too little though, as long as they don't mind when I have a corona at my family's get together...once a year then we are fine lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedDress Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 It depends what "doesn't drink" means. I don't find it a turn off at all if a guy doesn't drink. Does it matter if he's drinking a beer or a soda?? Why should I care what's in his glass? What would be a turn off is if he uses "doesn't drink" as an excuse not to do things. For example, maybe 2-3 times per year, I will meet up with some college friends at a pub. It's not a booze fest. The purpose is not drinking - the purpose is to sit around, talk and socialize. BUT... it takes place at a pub. If you would refuse to attend because you "don't drink" - that's a turnoff. Just because you "don't drink" doesn't mean that other people shouldn't drink or alter their plans. Order a soda. (I do sometimes when I simply don't feel like a drink) Similarly - for the 2 drinks a year I DO have, it would be a turn off for someone to lecture me or give me the evil eye. I think there is a difference between someone who doesn't drink and someone who is against drinking. A HUGE difference. I don't mind if you don't drink. I mind if you are against drinking... no one wants to be limited in the things they can do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jd1983 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 No, I don't think that it's a turnoff if a guy doesn't drink. I don't drink myself, but all my ex'es did drink (some more than others, and I found that to be a turn off). My bf can handle his liquor, but he doesn't drink excessively. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Godless_Heathen Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 The purpose is not drinking - the purpose is to sit around, talk and socialize. BUT... it takes place at a pub. If you would refuse to attend because you "don't drink" - that's a turnoff. I don't drink, but I've been in a few bars. Generally I'm pretty negative about them because they were so loud it was impossible to hold a conversation. College parties were almost as bad, mainly because they seemed to be mostly about drinking games, which don't interest me in the slightest. A pub with a restaurant-like atmosphere would be fine, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkelephant Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 It's a social thing for me. I don't see why you can't have a drink here and there. Friends and I do meet up at the local pub every now and again.. if you drink soda, it's a little off-putting. We don't get drunk often, but when we do, I'd like my bf to join. It's fun. Then again, I'm in my early 20s... And being sober around drunk people is terrible... idk... he probably wouldn't fit in with my group, but it's more about socializing than drinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead3 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I am 100% with reddress here. WELL SAID! I don't care if a man doesn't drink. I would find a complete turnoff if a man was against drinking. I would also find it a turnoff if we were limited in our activities because of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clemente21 Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 It isn't offputting to me in the least--unless he doesn't drink because he's against it. The guy I've been dating doesn't drink because he doesn't like the taste of it..but he doesn't mind if I have a cocktail or two. Admittedly, I was nervous about ordering a drink in front of him, but relaxed when I found out why he doesn't drink. I was always the Designated Driver in all of my past relationships...it's nice to be able to have a glass of wine once in a while now and not have to worry about being the driver. He doesn't condemn me for drinking alcohol--we both agree that sloppy drunks are ridiculous and embarassing--so I just have one or two if I decide to. The nicest thing is there isn't any "peer pressure" to drink with him--where there definitely is in other friend circles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imsuperman Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 It's good to see most don't mind. I've never had a glass.can of alcohol. I've only had a sip of wine at a toast my whole life. However I will say I'm always incredulous of how well these responses actually pan out in real life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrKitten Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 As a beer geek and homebrewer, yes, it would turn me off if a guy doesn't drink. I probably wouldn't date a non-drinker. I would never date an alcoholic or someone with poor self-control. But the tasting/food pairing/crafting of alcohol is a pretty big hobby for me and I need to be able to share it with someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imsuperman Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 As a beer geek and homebrewer, yes, it would turn me off if a guy doesn't drink. I probably wouldn't date a non-drinker. I would never date an alcoholic or someone with poor self-control. But the tasting/food pairing/crafting of alcohol is a pretty big hobby for me and I need to be able to share it with someone. In your situation I can understand it. I just hate when people say you're no fun if you don't. It's kind of like...if you take it THAT seriously, and it's not just a hobby like in your case, that's a little worrisome for me. I turned down a girl some months ago because even though I think she's cute, she just can't do anything unless it involves drinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thlocke Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 It looks like a lot of the people who responded to this thread think that if someone enjoys drinking more than a couple times a month than they must be an alcoholic. Why is it okay to pass judgement on those who drink versus those who do not drink? Just because someone drinks less than someone else, doesn't mean they are any better of a person. I could care less if someone drinks or not. I'll be honest, I probably won't ever be close friends with a non-drinker simply because I do enjoy craft beer and going to bars and breweries. Non-drinkers probably wouldn't like that, which is fine. I just think it's pretty unfair to assume I have a problem based on how much I drink, rather than examining how it effects me as a whole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetryandlyrics Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 It looks like a lot of the people who responded to this thread think that if someone enjoys drinking more than a couple times a month than they must be an alcoholic. Why is it okay to pass judgement on those who drink versus those who do not drink? Just because someone drinks less than someone else, doesn't mean they are any better of a person. I could care less if someone drinks or not. I'll be honest, I probably won't ever be close friends with a non-drinker simply because I do enjoy craft beer and going to bars and breweries. Non-drinkers probably wouldn't like that, which is fine. I just think it's pretty unfair to assume I have a problem based on how much I drink, rather than examining how it effects me as a whole. Didn't see anyone mentioning more than a couple times a month. I did find one saying more than one drink everyday. And I did see the "judgement" reserved for non drinkers if they're judgmental about drinkers as well. I'm not sure where you got this? Back to the OP, I personally wouldn't care if the guy isn't being judgmental if I do drink once in a while and is willing to go to bars for the fun anyway. I like to get the appetizers more than the beer sometimes -- okay, more than sometimes. It's cool to me. I wouldn't like someone who drinks too much, like drinking every single day. I want a break. Or something like that. Really, it's more of control. I do enjoy a drink, exploring tastes. I do enjoy going to breweries and wineries so I'd be sad not to go but it's not really a big deal. Not everything has to be about drinking. I would find it a bit refreshing though, something new, for a guy that doesn't drink. Only because my father is a heavy alcoholic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imsuperman Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 It looks like a lot of the people who responded to this thread think that if someone enjoys drinking more than a couple times a month than they must be an alcoholic. Why is it okay to pass judgement on those who drink versus those who do not drink? Just because someone drinks less than someone else, doesn't mean they are any better of a person. I could care less if someone drinks or not. I'll be honest, I probably won't ever be close friends with a non-drinker simply because I do enjoy craft beer and going to bars and breweries. Non-drinkers probably wouldn't like that, which is fine. I just think it's pretty unfair to assume I have a problem based on how much I drink, rather than examining how it effects me as a whole. If you were referring to me... I think you misunderstood. I'm not, and am in no way qualified to diagnose alcoholism. I met I found it worrisome from an attraction/dating perspective because myself and the young woman I mentioned were not compatible there. It is also bothersome to me that people assume I'm some sort of holier-than-thou elitist for not drinking. All my friends drink and know that I don't, so the "You think you're better than everyone else" argument is not at all valid. I don't care who drinks, but I am not personally compatible with a woman that gets drunk 3-5 nights a week. This thread is in the Attraction forum, and that is the matter of which I was speaking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alezia Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 Not necessarily a turn off, but I do enjoy having a guy who can share a bottle of wine with me for supper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diamond78 Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 I prefer a non-drinker or a light, social drinker because I am not a big drinker myself. I'm not a drinker because I find most alcohol to simply taste awful and my taste buds are picky. They like what they like! lol I do like some fruity alcohol beverages and Amaretto is delish, but that's about it. I'm not into drunkeness as it doesn't appeal to me at all and I've just never needed a drink to have a great time. I have my own natural high! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MizzGee Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 Not a turn-off, and I don't think you need to drink to have fun, but I always feel awkward when I've been drinking around someone sober.. Like they're judging me... Haha but it definitely wouldn't be a deal-breaker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PJK Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 To be honest its quite off putting for me. Say what you want but I think its one of the best ways to bond with someone outside of being in a military/police training environment or a combat situation. It really makes me wonder how the non drinkers have made any social connections. Also a lot of the ones I've make me feel judged when Ive had a few too many. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pluckie Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 I will probably ask why? As I am nosey that way. If he doesn't drink because he used to have a problem then I probably won't date him again. If he doesn't drink because he is driving then that is fine. If he doesn't drink because he doesn't really like the taste. Fine. If he doesn't drink because of religious reasons I probably wouldn't date him again because I am not sure someone that religious would run along with someone whom isn't. Now a man drinking too much and not knowing his limit is a major turn off. And I don't even like to be around men who think it is cute when a girl gets drunk either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coconut Twin Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 As the title says. Do women find it weird and a turnoff if you don't drink alcohol? And would even consider dating a guy who doesn't drink? My most recent ex didnt drink. It wasn't a turn off before I met him and it isn't a deal breaker for any future guy I happen to date. If a women wants a drinking buddy in a relationship maybe this would be a dealbreaker for her but then she can always meet up with friends if she wanted a knees up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Not necessarily a turn off, but I do enjoy having a guy who can share a bottle of wine with me for supper Me too. Though my only deal breaker when it comes to drinking is that he not drink too much (what would make me uncomfortable). My drinking is very moderate and I couldn't be with someone who drinks a lot. And I never have been, nor has it been a problem. I would only want to know if any drinking at all (even a glass of wine with supper or a beer on occasion) makes him uncomfortable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonny15 Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 I don't see why you can't have a drink here and there. Friends I do not drink at all, and the main reason is because I find it gross. I don't like the taste of drinks with alcohol in them. I also don't see the fun in waking up with a massive headache. That and if they get drunk drinking beer, you can smell it on them, even after they aren't drunk anymore. Which is nasty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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