abyss Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 After getting the disappointing news that the guy I like at work is dating one of our colleagues I decided to get back on the horse, so to speak, and try online dating again. This is something I've tried before, with little success. Been stood up, been for a date or a couple of dates that led to nothing. I'm on a couple of free sites, and I've used a pay site once before, but no joy there either. So, I logged back into my profile(s) and I've sent messages to quite a few men. And I don't go for the good looking ones either, just the semi-cute ones that I could see myself dating and doing stuff with. However, they're not interested! I got one email off a guy and he gave me his email address so I emailed him and he's not replied! I've also had a guy be rude to me recently, which was totally uncalled for. What do I have to do??? It's so depressing. I'm not ugly, or stupid. I'm reasonably attractive, I'm well travelled, intelligent and have a good sense of humour. So, what's the problem? What are men looking for? Do I have to take a picture of me with my boobs falling out my top to get a response? One of my friends got married last year to a guy she met on link removed. I'm wondering if I should give that a try, although another friend has tried that site, with no luck whatsoever. And although I'd like to have a serious relationship, right now I just want to go on a date and feel like someone fancies me and I fancy them. Right now, the prospect of that seems hopeless. Any advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Care to share a photo if you want the honest truth? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abyss Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 Hmm, depends, where are you from? I'm paranoid about someone I know seeing it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Lol, the States, but of course I'm not the only one in the forums. That's ok...you don't need to post a picture. If you're honestly a good looking gal then quite frankly you shouldn't be having issues. Are you getting men contacting you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abyss Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 I'll put it up for 5 mins. Tried to send it to your PM box but it's not allowing images from computers just URLs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy3 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I had absolutely no luck on match either, the people on there just seemed soooo odd to me. Pof is quite a good one, you do have to filter through the weirdos though lol. What are your pics like on there of you? Ive seen somw guys profiles that just have 4 or 5 of them taken with their phones in the mirror, it just screams out to me that they dont have a life, have you put ones up of you looking like you are out with friends enjoying yourself etc? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy3 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 maybe put up a couple of different ones,and recent ones of you smiling, laughing etc. you look great though in that pic ^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abyss Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 Glad you like it, thanks. I don't actually have that pic on my dating profiles. I was in my 20s then, I'm now in my 30s! I do have a selection of newer ones though, me on holiday, having fun, looking approachable! But meh. Oh yeah, PoF is one of the free ones that I'm a member of. And I hear you on the weirdos thing. So many weird guys, or guys with chips on their shoulders. It's annoying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Well, you're attractive, so it's not that.... How are you wording your messages? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abyss Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 I keep them short, but jokey and fun. Maybe ask a question or two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 What kind of vibe do you give off? I mean, in person? Are you fun to be around? How would your best girl friends describe you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laura-j Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I've been in the same boat as you. I met my most recent ex online and we were together 5 months which seemed like a miracle! I'm in my early 40s similar look as you, funny, fun, together... it's a numbers game I'm sorry to say. You just have to keep at it, do it an hour a day like a part time job. Lame I know. And also you will get a whole bunch of weirdos too. I shake my head in wonder at the state of the dating world often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charis32 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I heard link removed was good. I had a friend meet someone from there and he was relatively normal. honestly though it seems alot of the guys on these sites are full of themselves or loosers. from a girls perspective, you are very attractive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Habibi Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Your looks are not the issue here. When using pics on dating sites (specially blonde) you should try one with a pony tail so your face shows better...from shoulders up...dont forget about the smiling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brightest Dark Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 You look pretty. Although maybe the guys are holding out for a drop-dead gorgeous supermodel. Maybe they want someone with a more feisty, edgy kind of look. Ultimately, it's their loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
90_hour_sleep Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 perhaps your profile needs and overhaul? for me personally, i have a hard time formulating any sort of 'attraction' on the internet. sure, it matters what you look like (ugh)...but i put a lot more emphasis on the depth of your profile. it's not generic. it's not looking to fill voids (unless that's what you want). and it says nothing about what you DON'T want. it's about what gets you out of bed in the morning, and what you actually look for from the world at large. it's open-minded and flexible, but balanced with focus and energy. i think the idea is to capture your essence, and pique someone's interest just enough to get them to put one foot forward. i think this is where SPECIFICS make that a bit easier (one more reason to avoid boring or generic commentary...ie. easy-going (how?), likes the outdoors (anything in particular?), family-oriented (why?), etc. etc. etc.. if there's something you really value...throw it out there. it's a launch-pad for interaction! i think there's an art to it. be creative! and don't be afraid to mix it up from time to time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abyss Posted June 22, 2012 Author Share Posted June 22, 2012 In person I would say I'm fun to be around, I have a quirky, funny side to me. I'm friendly and nice to be around I'm sure. Of course, my friends who really know me know I get depressed about being single but hopefully that doesn't come accross in general conversations. Hmm, I never thought of putting my hair up for a pic. I've only recently started putting my hair up (usually have it down) so perhaps I could do this. Nice to have some variety I guess. I do try and capture my essence in my profile. I talk about the countries I've visited, movies I've enjoyed, things I've tried and enjoyed (skydiving etc), stuff like that. I try to make me sound like someone interesting, I'd email me! And yet the only messages I've received lately have been of the "Hi babes how ru?" variety, from neanderthal-type men who can't spell. Ugh. That's the thing about online dating - it's like being in a sweet (candy) shop. There's too much choice and too much opportunity to go for something that seems 'better'. Or to ignore someone who might be potentially right for you, because of something that's in their profile or because they don't look like the image of someone you'd find attractive (I'm guilty of this too, I'm sure). Right now, I just want someone to meet me for coffee. Feels like it's too much to ask Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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