Confused8526 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Well I went and did it. Last night sent her a text telling her "come see me. Would love to see you and thinking of you" she replied with I can't I have the dogs to which I said well do you want to see me and she said come over then...I did. Pulled up and there was a different car in the drive way. Asked her about it and said it was the other guys. I immediately thought he was there and what the hell is she trying to do. Ends up she used his car to get home as he lives 30 minutes away. Anyways we talked a little, but not about much. Basically she misses me, check all my social media rights me endless messages and texts everyday just to delete them before sending them. We wound up staying up skinny dipping she was trying on lingerie and a ton of sex all night and this morning. Snuggled me all night laid on my chest and just caught up all morning laughing, smiling enjoying each other without problem. I eventually told her I needed to go as I was 3 hours late to work to which we kind of just stared at each other not knowing what to do her saying this is the hard part. I kissed her on the forehead and told her this is sad that it;s probably the last time we'll talk or see each other and then she hugged me and wouldn't let go. Kept reaching in for a kiss and I was resisting and only gave her peck compared to our usually strong hard and passionate kiss(which I wish would have). She then Began crying profusely I tried to be strong, but said it doesn't feel right. Hold back your tears we have already spilled them and that she will be fine. She will make someone happy one day if not already and she said she isn't. Continued reminiscing, but i realized it was futile and wanted to put off a different front so finally I told her I better go and walked to the door said see ya later opened the door left and didn't look back. I know it's my fault for doing this and breaking my 9 days of NC, but now it;s even more confusing as the feelings are still there, but obviously she is in a relationship with this other guy, but now she even just cheated on him again with me. I don't know what to do. It's all so confusing and for some reason I texted her saying that "it just feels wrong and empty without her because it's so right and good when we're together. It feels like the wrong decision" She has not responded... Obviously I know I need to go NC i know that, but any insight to this as it's eating me up and I just want her as we mesh so well, but she has hurt me numerous times. Why must it be so complicated? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy longstocking Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 blimey that is one hell of a way to break NC ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinggirl Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I read your previous thread, sounds like you're very confused and lost now. Either you or she must be strong and cut this off completely. I want to share you my experience. My ex broke up with me even when he said he still loved me, it hurt me a lot but I tried to move on, I dated another guy, but during that time, my ex and I still hung out a lot and slept together, he knew I was dating another guy exclusively, he didn't want to back off, kept contacting me, came to my place and always ended up we had sex. I was pretty sure I loved him more than the guy I was dating. No brainer I would have dumped the new guy if my ex asked me to get back together. But he didn't, he said our relationship was ruined and he wasn't sure if our relationship would work. It hurt me more, if he didn't think it would work why he continued to cling on me, he was so selfish, didn't want to commit to me but didn't want me to be someone else's. As for the new guy I didn't have as strong feelings for him at the beginning but we got a long and less emotional than my ex. So I decided to changed my number, deleted my email, and sent him a note said, "please do not contact me ever again". I ignored him completely. Finally I was free and could concentrate on my relationship with the new guy. Btw, my ex was like you, NC then broke it, then told me he couldn't see me again, and NC and then broke it again, until I was really fed up and started NC on him. I know you're not my ex and I'm not your ex, so maybe it's a different situation. But you have to remember : "Love is not enough" to make relationship work. Think with clear head, make a decision and stick with it. You need help from your friends. Your friends have to make sure you're busy and not think about her. One book really helped me is : How to break your addiction to a person by Howard Halpern. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laura-j Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 blimey that is one hell of a way to break NC ... Note: If one is to break NC, not a bad way to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laura-j Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Sorry didn't mean to make light, but I'd kinda like a night of passion with the ex. You've put it out there, so wait and see what she says, she's a mess today too guarantee it. Only thing that seems truly bad about this situation is that there is another guy involved. Not fair on him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy longstocking Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Note: If one is to break NC, not a bad way to do it. oh hell yes ...it we could give awards for NC breaking he just got one ... I am not making light of it either op ...it;s just hard to know what to say ..when two people have this explosive , emotional , united night of passion , buit it;s over and one has a new partner , it just makes no sense ...where can you go from here ...but NC ..OR she lets the other guy go and you two sort this out . but this will destroy you if you keep doing this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confused8526 Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 Either you or she must be strong and cut this off completely. Good luck! She responded to the text and said she does not deny that there is a very strong connection, but that she has this same identical connection with the other guy if not stronger and her heart just seems to pull more toward him. She says sorry for all the hurt and roller coaster of lies and craziness. Then goes on to to say it's best for her to go her separate way. That I'm right and she needs to be alone and finally address her feelings and close her luggage from myself and previous relationships. Really enjoyed seeing me and can only wish me the best. I'm so distraught right now. I don't understand how she can walk away or I just can't accept it. I'm at the lowest I have ever been in my life and am completely lost. I don't know what to do... maybe start with some self respect, but the girl I love who I saw this bright future with is now in another mans arms and bed to which she can actually willingly give me up after all her emotions and words that they haven't even expressed....FML right now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confused8526 Posted June 21, 2012 Author Share Posted June 21, 2012 oh hell yes ...it we could give awards for NC breaking he just got one ... I am not making light of it either op ...it;s just hard to know what to say ..when two people have this explosive , emotional , united night of passion , buit it;s over and one has a new partner , it just makes no sense ...where can you go from here ...but NC ..OR she lets the other guy go and you two sort this out . but this will destroy you if you keep doing this Destroyed is an understatement right now...I'm just so tired of all of it. Hate not being in control and I am clearly not or anywhere near anytime soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy longstocking Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 darling your feeling out of control because you allowed yourself this night of luxury ... you must back right away from her and the situation before you can gain control. and this can happen as soon as NOW ..if your prepared to do this and to deal with this dreadful heartache . you have to be strong ..not for her ..but for you .. the positives ( I know nothing feels like a positive) are that you had this awesome night together ..what a way to walk away ... so walk ...no one says it has to be forever , it does no one any good trying to think 2 months in advance when emotions are this high ..one day and one step at a time .. you need clarity ..so allow yourself to get some. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy longstocking Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 sorry didn't see this .... right ok ..well she has made it clear and I am so sorry my love ((((((((((((((big hug for you)))))))))))))))) well their relationship is rolling along nicely isn't it seen as she has already cheated on him .... ok so you have now done it all...broke NC ..had sex , had emotion , had tears , and now had her tell you her pull is with the other guy ... the good news is you have now had the lot and you can't sink any lower. I can only imagine how much you hurt right now , but you have to now start the journey to healing and moving on. Allow yourself your tears you have just had a very emotional time and just accept your very hurt and your allowed to feel low..its very raw . I am sorry you feel so bad xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confused8526 Posted June 26, 2012 Author Share Posted June 26, 2012 she called me back Friday and I went over and it was just as emotionally and just as passionate as the night before....check my new thread for the update. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeFallFeelin Posted June 26, 2012 Share Posted June 26, 2012 I see a lot of "emotion" and "passion" in your telling of your story. I think you need more "thinking" with your dealings in this situation. Realize that she is most likely saying the same things she says to you, to the new guy. She gets two guys that give her attention and "passion" and both you and new guy get played. Hmmmm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dasilver Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 blimey that is one hell of a way to break NC ... ^^^...hahahahahahahahaha...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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