Don't know what to do

[lauren2691]

Hi,

 

I was on this forum last year because my boyfriend broke up with me. After a months no contact he text me saying he made a mistake we talked and got back together. Everything was really good, we didn't see each other as much because I moved away to university but that worked really well for us. But the past couple of weeks, I had been stressed out due to essays and exams and took some of this out on him. Sunday I did the same and afterwards I apologised but didn't hear from him for three days. I called him yesterday and told him I was coming round to sort things out and we talked for two hours.

I'm confused because while we were talking first he said he wanted a break up, then he said he wanted a couple weeks apart, then he didn't know what he wanted, then he wanted a week apart, then he didn't know again and finally he ended it. But I know that he wasn't sure at the time yet he still did it??

I know I shouldn't take him back because it's not fair on me to be treated like that and have the constant back and forth but I love him and I'm pretty sure he loves me to.

Then he sent me a text saturday saying that he wanted his stuff back and I said thats fine I'm away all weekend and i'm pretty busy next week so I'll let you know when you can come and collect it. He said that was fine and then I didn't hear from him for half an hr. then i get a text through that says I'm sorry I'm a dong. I said why are you a dong and he said for upsetting you over and over. I said don't worry eventually you'll find someone you really want to be with and forget about me and then he said more importantly you will.Then said he had to go. I didn't reply to the last one. What does this mean? Does this mean he regrets it? I said about finding someone else and forgetting about me to make it sound like I was fine and moving on with my life and not sat at home moping which I'm desperately trying not to do!

That night I text him asking which DVDs were his because I was only sure on a couple of box sets. Never got a reply then I text him and said I was available for him to pick his stuff up at the end of the week and never got a reply. I don't understand how he can go from apologising to ignoring me. So now I've screwed everything up and sent him angry text messages.

Now today for some reason I am struggling. We broke up a week ago and he hasn't spoken to me since. When we broke up he said that it doesnt mean he never wants to see me again it's just not working out. Since the break up I haven't cried only the day it happened but not since until today. I don't know if its the fact that my sister got taken into hospital yesterday. She's fine and should be out by tomorrow but I accidently text him instead of my friend and told him what had happened and never got a reply. I don't know if this is what he is really like but I would have thought that after 4 years he would have made sure that she was alright if not me?! Today all I have thought about is him and wanting him back and I sent him a NC mesage today and have not text him since. I have also seen that he hasn't changed his relationship status on FB yet which leaves me with some hope that he isn't ready to change it yet. I just don't know what to do. I want to ring him but I don't want to fail at the first heardle either.

Would love for some advice and support please Thanks x

[chickydoodle]

Sounds like he is unsure of what he is doing, thinking, feeling and has issues to work out. The timing may be bad for you two. I feel he is going thru' something' and is not Rship material at the moment.

I think you handled it v well and your acceptance ( in his eyes) is making him re-think his decision - again.

I think if he says he made a mistake this time - again - you must not be too ready to take him back and stay NC for a couple of months- Give him time to sort himself out.

Focus on yourself and your studies . Try and be strong. Assume it is over and who knows how it will play out.

Sounds like it is an important time for him to have the space to become clearer-headed.

NC is essentiel for a couple of mths IMO.

[lauren2691]

I know I shouldn't and I'm trying really hard to move on I just don't understand why he apologised then completely ignored me again. It's the ignoring that hurts me the most. Not once have I sent him a text asking if we can talk things through or get back together. I asked if we could be friends in time after some time apart and he never even replied to that. I also don't understand why he asked for his stuff back to then not come and collect it?

[chickydoodle]

There are so many posts about guys who behave like this.

I thought , my ex's having an addiction problem explained his behaviour, so everytime people write in about their guys blowing hot and cold I start to wonder if they have a habit ? , a personality disorder?, suffering from depression?

My ex never stopped Loving me- would send texts telling me this then he wouldnt reply to mine......etc....I went NC for 5mths by which stage he was desperate to have me back.

The reason he didnt respond a lot of the time was he was crippled with emotional agony and popping tablets to sleep all day.......

Could your ex be depressed? smoking pot?......

[lauren2691]

No he isn't doing any of these things and I have decided that he needs to tell me what is going on and that he can have the week to decide then i will move on if i dont hear from him and i am sticking to that. Also i saw a friend of his from work out last night and he said that he hasnt stopped talking about me since the breakup. i'M SO CONFUSED!