f1r3f1y3 Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I don't even know what to post the title says it all I knew what I was getting into when I fought to keep my son under my roof when I split up with my ex. He isnt a bad kid, quite good really but sometimes things happen and I just wish there was someone else in this house that I could discuss it with Sometimes I don't even think I know what I'm doing as a parent Most of the time I don't talk to his mum on the phone about it as I can't burden her more, she has her own issues to deal with and my life is much easier than hers. She just makes it worse anyway by overreacting It is so much easier with 2 people, right now I am sick of doing this alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ButterflyWrists Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Can you talk to your mum, a sibling or aunt? Or just any other parent it may be a big help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charity Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 i hear ya! all i can say is that there are both good and bad days as you know. i know exactly how you feel... and getting support from friends and family just isn't the same because the child isn't THEIRS. sometimes it would be nice to be ask what will WE do about this? as opposed to what will I do? buy hey, things could be worse. we could be in a bitter war with our SO, fighting everyday about daily trivia. at least our kids live with us and we get all that love and... cuddles!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BellaDonna Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I can tell that you must be an awesome parent, just from your willingness to talk about this and confront the idea thatvthere are difficult days, and challenges at time. Part of being a parent is being human, realizing that you may not always get it right or always know the answer. But you are trying your best and doing right by your son, and that matters the most. I am not a single parent but I am primarily responsible for my son, especially when issues arise. He has some behavioral issues. When he was demonstrating some really challenging behaviors, I enrolled us in family therapy. I take him biweekly and we talk about issues that arise, and what I like most is that the counselor gives me concrete strategies that I can try. So far every one of them has worked and he has made leaps and bounds since we started going. I too, feel more confident and in control, and it helps to have the counselor to vent to if I am stressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RFB Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 Try doing it with three kids. My ex and i split when my kids were 5, 3 and 2. I was primary care giver from that point on. There were days I thought I'd go crazy but now that they are all in their 20's I can honestly say I wouldn't have traded it for anything. Thats just the life of being a parent. It's easier with two but my married friends still have plenty of headaches as well. Hang in there. We all feel this way once in a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunshineband Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I know what you mean, as I am a single parent to my two daughters and my ex-husband only has them to stay about once a week / 10 days (he works shifts). In the UK, we have a website called "netmums" (and dads lol!) which has lots of parenting advice and forums to talk things through. Is there something similar you could access where you are, if it's not the UK? Just being able to bounce things off someone else can be really helpful and an internet forum can be a way of doing this. Or there's a parenting and families section on here, maybe you could use that? It doesn't get away from the fact that yes, you're having to make all decisions on your own, and I know that's tough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostnscared Posted June 21, 2012 Share Posted June 21, 2012 I don't even know what to post the title says it all I knew what I was getting into when I fought to keep my son under my roof when I split up with my ex. He isnt a bad kid, quite good really but sometimes things happen and I just wish there was someone else in this house that I could discuss it with Sometimes I don't even think I know what I'm doing as a parent Most of the time I don't talk to his mum on the phone about it as I can't burden her more, she has her own issues to deal with and my life is much easier than hers. She just makes it worse anyway by overreacting It is so much easier with 2 people, right now I am sick of doing this alone I know what you mean. I've been basically(for the most part) doing it on my own, since me and my "so" took a break back at the end of April. It has only been 2 months, and I swear sometimes I want to cry(I have two). I do have help(from a nanny that comes over 7 hours a week and from my mom who comes on the weekends, and sometimes in the evenings). What sucks worse, is that I stay at home all day and don't have anyone coming home to me to help. I am starting to feel like I don't want to be a single parent either. Funny, my "ex' was just telling me yesterday that he would be willing to do everything and anything possible to make it work with me, and to treat me better, make more money, etc(the issues I had with him) and I find myself wanting to say yes and get over the hard feelings I have, simply because I am not wanting to be a single parent anymore. It is hard and I really feel so hopeless sometimes about the quality of my life when I think about being a single parent. No other thoughts, other than I wish you luck and know how you feel!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
f1r3f1y3 Posted June 22, 2012 Author Share Posted June 22, 2012 Well I guess yesterday was a bad day. The replies really made me feel better thanks I do talk to my mum, it's just she already helps me so much already, she's getting older and I don't want to overly burden her. My Dad retires soon so I hope he might help me sometimes My son is 8 going on 15. He is very happy, popular and intelligent, but I have caught him lying to me sometimes, sometimes he doesn't get a good report in school, and he argues with the other kids in the street. I think he misses his mum and the female side. Once he was arguing with his friend outside and he wanted to go see his mum. She said he burst out crying when he got there. I guess I am not so good with the soft side Last night I said we'd stay in together (he normally has friends round every night) and we played xbox. He knew something has been up so he has been nice to me. This morning he brought me coffee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
becomingkate Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 Best wishes! Being a single parent is the hardest job ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
f1r3f1y3 Posted June 22, 2012 Author Share Posted June 22, 2012 In the UK, we have a website called "netmums" (and dads lol!) I am in the UK! Are there guys on there too? I don't really want to discuss things like giving birth and breast feeding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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