Am i getting played? Am i stupid for staying around? WARNING: LONG STORY

[JamesR05]

WARNING: LONG STORY!!!

 

Ok. this is the situation. A girl that works with out of know where starts approaching and asking me if i wanted to go to the movies and if i wanted to take her out . i at first would think nothing of it and just play it off because she is out of my league or thats how it seems to me and i thought she was just playing . also i didnt own a vehicle at the time either to take her out so i would just play it off and keep going. Even when i told her i didnt have transportation she said she would borrow someones car but i would just brush it off.

 

This had been happening just about everday for about 2 or 3 months. so some time passed and i didn't see her at work only maybe 1 day a week and i had finally got a car. so the 1 day i saw her we start talking and she brought it up again about going out places. i told her we would talk about it and she offered her phone number. so we started talking on the phone often and she wanted me to come over her house and chill. the 1st time i go over there she tells me her life story and that she is bi-sexual and have been like that for about 3 years. im completely shocked about her being bi because she shows no sign of it at all, and i thought she liked me or so she does.

 

anyway after that night we still talk every night and day and i constantly go over house. so at this point im thinking she doesnt like me like that and we are just cool freinds until one night when im over there and im telling her about my past relationships, and the bad things and so she says "why wont you date me then?'' So im confused again because she has told me she is only dating females tand he one girl who she still loves(her ex). so we start talking about the future and what we want to do in college and so i tell her that if i still know her in 4 years ill marry her. she agrees to go along with it.

 

we start talking about how past relationships have been bad due to this or that reason and we decide to take it slow. So after that we still talk everday but at times she doesn't seem like she likes me at all and sometimes she does. so one day i ask her does she ''really'' like me even though she only likes females. she says she ''really'' like me like that its just that she like girls right now. she tells her family that she likes me and ill be her future husband.

 

she introduces to her whole family and she hopes they really like me and all. This is where it gets really weird and strange. she tells me she wants to save sex for marriage because she thinks the love will be stronger and i have no problem with that because i REALLY like her and i want her to be my last gf and really wanna make tthis work . we agree not to see anyone else, no other girls for me and no boys for, her But she might talk to a female now or then she says its nothing to worry about. So i agree to it because we arent dating each other yet but we really like each other. Time goes on i meet more of her family and we go out and kinda start acting like a couple. just with no sex or her kissing me.

 

she doesn't have alot of money or a car a and is in a bad financial state. i buy her whatever she wants and just basically gave her 1st birthday party she ever had. I got her hair nails done etc. She nevers takes anything without trying to pay me back. she has literally has offered her whole entire paychecks and all $200 her birthday money to show me she isnt a gold digger or anything like that. This is where things get really bad and confusing. I found out she is Really Really Really still in love with her ex who cheated on her and she still goes over her house. I also find out they still have sex or what ever lesbians do.

 

She is ALWAYS texting her and talking to her when she not talking or texting me. I slipped up and found her supposed to be private twitter page and all of there business is there. All the stuff she didnt tell me.

 

I need some advice. We arent even together but we have feelings for each other. she isnt my gf yet, so should i care about her and her ex? She is deeply in love with her, am i stupid for staying around her? I mean she says she want to marry me and have my kids in the future but what if she is still in love with her then how can any of that happen? Should i just leave her alone? Should i wait on her? Am i stupid for even agreeing to any of this? Ive developed deep feelings for her and dont wanna lose her but i dont wanna be in love without someone who loves someone else. What should i do?

[gilmond]

Hey man the only kind of insight I can give you is that it's never ever fun to be the rebound guy which you are right now. The talk about kids and marriage and all that stuff has to stop because it's just confusing you. I know you secretly found her page but make sure you don't ever bring this up to her unless she starts telling you about it. If you want a relationship with this woman then just be in the relationship don't let her weasle out of it because she's not committing to you she's still committed to her gf. You are kind of that friend she leans on when she's in trouble or needs to talk to so you are technically in the "friend zone" because you aren't even having sex or kissing her and I am assuming you haven't even seen her naked. My advice is just to ditch the chick and just be friends with her and don't spend all your time with her. It's ok to spend a weekend or two but find someone who will be committed to you. You will be less hurt and heartbroken that way.

[swampyankee]

No sex - ok, fine, but not even kissing?? You're begin used as a sham boyfriend, probably because she doesn't want to "come out of the closet" with her family. Which is why you were paraded in front of her parents and she's been concocting a story about you being married some time "in the future".

BTW, she's in a very active relationship with her girlfriend, which makes her NOT the ex. You need to drop any notions of becoming romantic with this girl and stop allowing her to lead you on.

[MikNomis]

I think you are getting played. Not in terms of gold digging, but more in terms of being her emotional support. Like a family member, she can talk to you about anything and everything and easily say things like I love you, but no physical intimacy.