psycho magnet Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 So it's been a while since I've posted on here because I've been fairly happy and busy, but as has happened a few times in the past, my ex who ditched me for another guy a little under a year ago has been contacting me again. She's tried to friend me several times on facebook (again) and I ignored it and then blocked her. Somehow she got my number again and has been calling me, but not leaving a message (I still remember her number despite having deleted it from my phone). Finally she texted me just the other day and acted like nothing had happened, like we were just old friends, asked to meet up for coffee. My first text response was very blunt. I told her I wasn't interested and that I felt I had made that clear in the past several times (which I had). She responded immediately (and quite viciously) by saying she couldn't believe I was still spiteful after a year, how I was immature, etc. I apologized for offending her and told her my actions were not out of spite. While that may not have been the whole truth (it's hard not to feel some resentment toward her when I think of some of the things she did), my actions were really motivated by the fact that nothing good can come from us meeting or having any further interactions. I ended by asking her politely to not contact me again. She responded rudely and angrily to this as well and I just let it go. I wasn't sure what else to say. My problem is this: I can't stop thinking about it. I feel really bad for being blunt with her and not even really acknowledging her. My conscience won't let me go. On the other hand, I start thinking of the reasons I wanted to forget her in the first place, and I feel justified in my actions. But I keep wavering back in forth, I feel mean and bad one second, then the next I feel justified... But it's a cycle and it won't seem to release me... Any advice for how to proceed here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 don't second guess yourself. your instincts were right to block her. i'm not a huge believer in going back to exes either. sometimes things can work, but most of the time, you broke up for a good reason. so don't blame yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rAFC Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 She left you for another guy and that obviously hurt you. She had no concern for your feelings so why should you care what she thinks now? I think you are completely justified in not wanting her in your life and you don't owe her any further explanation for that. Things probably didn't work out the way she hoped they would with the guy she left you for, so now she needs some validation from you. Personally, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markfromark Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 She responded immediately (and quite viciously) by saying she couldn't believe I was still spiteful after a year, how I was immature, etc. I apologized for offending her a You were not offending her. She, instead, made you feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with her after she had dumped you a year ago. You should have never apologized for turning down her offer to meet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SouthernGirly Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 She is missing YOUR attention. You are the better one, and stronger/more confident one. Don't lose sight of that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidern Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 You made it this far without her. Don't feel bad for telling her off, you know how much she hurt you and your body knows this too which is why your first reaction was to block her and remove her from your life. Let her boyfriend deal with her non-sense. Ignore it and keep moving on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gluestick Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Don't feel bad. You don't owe her anything! She obviously does not respect you given she does not honor your wish for NC, then tries to turn the tables around on you. Chances are, things didn't work out with the guy she left you for and she comes back fishing for ego-stroke or perhaps hoping you'd be her doormat. When you didn't give her what she wanted, she lashes out to make you seem like a jerk. Kick this b**ch out of your life for good! You told her exactly what needed to be said for yourself to heal and move on. Time spent worrying about hurting her feelings are exactly time wasted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psycho magnet Posted June 19, 2012 Author Share Posted June 19, 2012 Thanks everyone. Once again, posting on this site helped enormously. After reading all your responses I had an epiphany: what the hell am I thinking! This girl completely left me out in the cold, and I'm worried about hurting her now?!!? Thanks again, already I am much less conflicted. Damn that * * * * * had a serious, serious hold on my emotions. Even after all this time, a couple of back and forth texts can send me into a few days of mental anguish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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