Mustang4life Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 We have been together for 12 months and living together for one month. She is 24 and I am 24. She doesn't look at her ex's facebook profile (that is what she tells me). She said she hasn't in 1-2 years. This was the last "serious" relationship she was in before me. Now fast-forward to the last week or so. I have been friending a lot of my girlfriend's friends that I have been hanging out with more and more. Now her last "serious" boyfriend keeps showing up as a mutual friend! Everywhere! It shows him on the top of my page when I login on my laptop. It even shows it as the first thing when I check my facebook on my phone. I showed it to her the other day since it was on my phone. I said can you delete this person so it will stop showing him as a mutual friend? She said yes. Is this a reasonable thing to ask? I do not want to come off as controlling or jealous. It just annoys me that facebook is trying to get me to friend her ex bf. If she doesn't get around to deleting him and it keeps showing up on my phone, should I say something to her again? Like show her my phone and say something like "I thought we were going to take care of this" or something along those lines.. Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 This is the least of your worries w/ your gf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustang4life Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 This is the least of your worries w/ your gf. I know but what about this particular situation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Blaze Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 thats because they are all mutual friends with him..doesnt matter if she deletes him, because you add all her friends that are friends with him it will continue to pop up regardless.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustang4life Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 thats because they are all mutual friends with him..doesnt matter if she deletes him, because you add all her friends that are friends with him it will continue to pop up regardless.. But wouldn't the frequency go down... for example instead of 4 people knowing him only 3? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Are seriously going to ask all her friends to delete him as well -- and btw, I think it is safe to assume that he is part of the "group" still. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustang4life Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 Are seriously going to ask all her friends to delete him as well -- and btw, I think it is safe to assume that he is part of the "group" still. No, I would never ask her friends to do that. I am only saying if she deletes him then that is one last person who I would have a mutual connection with him. Thus the frequency of him popping up on my facebook would go down. I don't think he is part of the "group" still. These new friends I have made have 1,000 plus people on their facebooks. They probably forgot he was on there or don't care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Oh you silly kids with all your Facebook woes. If you can't handle seeing him pop up in Facebook, then don't befriend her friends. Or better yet, get off Facebook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Oh you silly kids with all your Facebook woes. If you can't handle seeing him pop up in Facebook, then don't befriend her friends. Or better yet, get off Facebook. That just seemed so intuitively obvious I didn't mention it. It also, w/ these younger folks, seems impossible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Mustang, I just read a previous thread of yours and I have to wonder why this woman is still in your life - what is in your mid and how do you see this relationship getting any better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natasha24 Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Sorry to say, but yes, it was a little controlling to ask her to delete him. That's quite a favour to ask, just because you don't like seeing his picture. He is her exboyfriend, he's always going to be her exboyfriend, whether your see his photo or not. It's not like this guy did anything wrong to you. I'm going to go on a bit of a rant here. I can't stand when people try to ignore their spouse's exboyfriends/exgirlfriends. This person was a serious part of your spouse's life. If you can't handle seeing his photo on Facebook, does that mean she can't even talk about him? What if she had a really great story about one of her relatives, and it happened to involve her ex? Should she not tell the story for your sake? He was a part of her life, that's just something you're going to need to deal with. Ignoring him won't make him cease to exist. I really, really don't want to be harsh, but this is the kind of problem that anyone over the age of 12 or 13 should be able to handle without difficulty. (Sorry, I'm honestly not trying to imply that you're immature. I just don't know how else to convey that this is something you should be able to deal with) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustang4life Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 Ok so then if she doesn't delete him then I will just ignore it. She asked me a few months ago to delete all photo's of ex's from my facebook, which I did. I said if I was going to it then she had to also, which she did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Blaze Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 why is the ex bothering you so much...and who broke up with who..just trying to see where something as little as a picture add request suggestion is turning into a big deal my now ex gf when we were daing her ex would pop up on my suggested friends too...i just blocked his profile..it was no issues for me because they never talked.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustang4life Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 why is the ex bothering you so much...and who broke up with who..just trying to see where something as little as a picture add request suggestion is turning into a big deal my now ex gf when we were daing her ex would pop up on my suggested friends too...i just blocked his profile..it was no issues for me because they never talked.. She told me once that they both decided to break up. They got into a fight and never talked after that. (I think he broke up with her because she told me once it took her months to get over it). His picture and everything bothers me because honestly, I am jealous of him over one thing. Money. He makes a full $100,000 more than me a year. So every time I see him all I think about is how he was able to afford lavish vacations and such. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 Now I see where her sense of intitlement and expectation of gifts comes from. Wonder how physically attentive she was to him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustang4life Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 Now I see where her sense of intitlement and expectation of gifts comes from. Wonder how physically attentive she was to him? Mhowe, what do you think? Do you think she was more or less attentive for him then to me? FYI..She told me she has never had so much sex in a relationship until she dated me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 I find that hard to believe -- I think that her ex had $$, and she played the same game with him. Affection for gifts. Again, I think she is giving you excuses. You guys don't have "a lot" of sex for your age and the amount of time you are together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustang4life Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 I find that hard to believe -- I think that her ex had $$, and she played the same game with him. Affection for gifts. Again, I think she is giving you excuses. You guys don't have "a lot" of sex for your age and the amount of time you are together. So you think she had the same amount, if not more, with her ex than me? Remember she thinks sex is gross and should only be used for baby making. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 That is what she is telling you. And that really doesn't jive in my book -- it is as though she is picking and choosing parts of religion. She is living w/ you, she is demanding of gifts ($600 purse, vaca's) --- and if it is true, are you okay w/ procreation as the only form of sex that would happen in your marriage? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustang4life Posted June 18, 2012 Author Share Posted June 18, 2012 That is what she is telling you. And that really doesn't jive in my book -- it is as though she is picking and choosing parts of religion. She is living w/ you, she is demanding of gifts ($600 purse, vaca's) --- and if it is true, are you okay w/ procreation as the only form of sex that would happen in your marriage? But do you think she had more or less sex with her ex? Or the same amount? We have sex now with condoms so I don't see how sex for procreation would take into play. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 That is what I am saying -- she says sex is for baby making, but uses condoms. She says she is "religious", but is living w/ you w/ out marriage. There is no consistency here. I have no idea if she had more or less sex. Hard to believe there could be less. And since she ties it to you w/ giving her presents, taking her out, etc. I don't think this (meaning you) is the first time she has played this card: "If you give me things, I will "let" you touch me." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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