Paranoid about a guy I hardly know

[mandy86]

I have been interested in this guy and he is interested in getting to know me. We have spoken on a couple of occassions. I had given him my number and had texted me telling me he was going overseas for 3 weeks. He didn't have to do this but he did and I truly respect him for this.

But ever since I told my room mate about my interest in him I feel that she has layed her eyes on him. I have been getting quite insecure. She has never spoken with him. I do know he is interested in me but that doesn't stop me thinking these stupid insecure thoughts like "what if he notices her and she gives him a better offer" things like that. Does anyone have any suggestions of what I can do to overcome these thoughts. I do not want this guy to come back from overseas and see my insecurity. What should I do?

[SuperDuper]

First off my question is... why do you think your roommate likes him? List out the reasons and try to identify if they're legitimate or likely in your head.

 

Secondly, understand that if this guy truly likes you (which you want), then he won't be sidetracked with your roommate. He'll be so focused on you that she'll just be your roommate to him, nothing more. Unless she's overly-flirty (and a bad friend) ... then she won't make a move on him. And by "offer" I'm assuming you mean sex/relationship... and there's no way he'd even know her offer unless it was pasted on her t-shirt. Guys likely pick up on obvious signals from girls such as flirtatious eye contact/touching/teasing. From the sounds of it, there's none of this happening with this guy and your mate, and also, YOU can do these things to him when he's around you.

 

Thirdly, to not show insecurity you have to show the opposite -- confidence. So develop confidence by understanding that you're deserving of him because you're a good person. Do things that make you happy and you'll likely exude a positive vibe that will be very attractive to him. Show interest in him but make sure you always take care of your own self first, otherwise you'll get dependency/jealousy/insecurity issues.

 

I think you're in a very good position with this guy so don't stress so much! Good luck

[imsuperman]

It's natural for other women to make things a bit of a competition, but this doesn't necessarily mean you roommate is interested in him. Women just do that often to make themselves feel attractive to men, even if they aren't romantically interested in him.

 

I agree with the post above, just make sure to always be doing something to move things forward with him. Don't let anything stagnate.