1 month no contact

[clarkyyeah]

Today is a month and a half since the break up and a month since I last contacted him although he never replied.

 

I snooped today and looked at the girl he left me for and seen all the pictures and the posts on Facebook of them, they seem happy so far.

 

You'd think that spending so long with someone they'd say sorry, I don't expect a big declaration of love or regret just to know what we had together meant something and he didn't forgotten me as easily as he has, but as others will say how can I know what he really feels? I can't, you just have to judge someone on there actions.

 

I can now see how and when it really ended, he started checking out weeks before we finished. The last time I seen him I went to kiss and cuddle him and he turned away and said he was tired, then the texts became less but even when I tried to walk away he wouldn't let me, he kept me there until someone else came along and then he left without even a sorry, gave me so many excuses, he did ask to be my friend but I refused because it would be too hard, he said I'm been stupid, I told him he's been selfish.

 

Do you eventually hear from an ex or is there the possibily you never hear from them again?. I imagine the only time I'll hear from him is when his current relationship is out of the honey moon stage and by that time I won't care.

 

So 1 month NC down, I'm still a little upset at having to accept everything I imagined for us will never happen. I see everything clearly now thou and i feel like I don't want him back, no contact really works, let's head for indifference and then I'll be happy.

[crashboombang]

Hi Clarky

 

Firstly, well done on one month of no contact. I haven't managed that yet although my ex has gone totally no contact (link to my story at the bottom of this message). I am still texting him, hoping for a reply..acknowledgment..apology.. something; like you, perhaps I just want some kind of recognition that what we had did mean something to him.. but I am accepting that I am not going to get that.

 

I suspect I will never hear from him again, and as he dumped you, you should prepare yourself for this too, sadly I know that there is a lot of stuff online about how going no contact is supposed to bring an ex back, but if he left you for someone else then it's highly unlikely you will hear from again (And let's face it, would you want to anyway??)

 

I do know how you feel though, you imagined your life with this person and made plans for the future and it's so hard to imagine how life will go on without them, isn't it?

 

Hugs xx

[OneSadPuppy]

Great job on 1 month.

Today marks the end of 8 weeks for me.

 

Some you hear from some you don't.

What you should not do is wait or wonder.

 

Regarding the acceptance of your altered future, both you (CBB & CY) will get there.

I don't regret my changed future anymore. I'm actually starting to get a little anxious to have fun being me again!

 

The breakup still saddens me when I allow myself to think on it, but I'm feeling much better.

 

OSP

[joyful]

I cannot attest enough to how useful NC has been for me. I was the dumper. I dumped my ex after 5 months; it's been 2 months since the BU and NC. The bad vibes that caused me to break up with him were recently revealed to me; he was hiding 2 daughters and only God knows what else. It was super hard at first as he tried to pull the slow fade, but I just tore the bandage off for the both of us. I've never felt like I wanted him back, but I must say that there have been a number of instances in which I wanted to contact him for an explanation, curse his name, the usual. I will also say that I'm so happy I didn't follow through on these. Especially after so much time has passed, it only lets them know that they're still an issue for you, and in my ex's case, stroke his uber-inflated ego. I too was frustrated to think that our relationship didn't mean anything and how he coud be so cold. Everyone says that I will hear from him one day, but I'm not holding my breath waiting for that moment and I suggest that you don't either. Occupy your time. Since my break up, I've taken a few trips, lost weight from exercising, and started samba lessons. Before you know it, you'll have a new attitude, I promise. I still think about my ex from time to time but that's it! It's his loss and although I wish him well, I'm a firm believer in KARMA. Take it one day at a time, don't beat yourself up and let yourself feel what ever it is you're feeling. before you know it, you will have reached the beautiful place of indifference.

[StandingProud]

First post here but been hovering around the forums for a few months (my story yet to come).

CY, a full month of NC is a great achievement. I was on the end of my partner checking out a good month before she broke up with me twice in succession. It wasn't a nice experience by any means, and it was only during the second time that I took a good look at the state of things (including myself).

Being upset at what you imagined the future might hold is totally natural but it will recede, trust me.

Hang in there