Hujiox Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Hey Im gay (only out to my parents no one else because of fear of bullying) and really like a guy in my two classes. I have seen him around my high school for at-least 2/3 years now and i have never approached him but always looked at him every now and again. everyone in my school in my grade claims in a way to be straight (e.g. they don't say there gay/bi or anything) but you have ibes about people and you cant help but hope. I am a very good observer i believe because i seem to subconceously observe and create my own views on people like anyother person and ive kinda done that in a sense ive seen his profil on facebook and observed him every now and again to see his behaviour and stuff (lol not stalker ) and tbh i cant tell and i know he is into bad stuff like drugs and other stuff but i really cannot judge why he does the things he does until i interact with him. im a exttremely shy person and cant just go up and chat to someone i dont know or know common intrests about stuff with so i seem to wait for them to make a move. (sorry if im rambling but hang in there ) recently i have been taking glance's at him in one of my classes and ive seen him look at me directly in the eyes and i look the other way and feel a jolt when i make visual eye contact with him (not a jolt of * * * * he saw me looking but a jolt of something else ) and on two occasions i have had near conversations with him but am to stupid to initiated second line of conversation. e.g.- 1st time (this is an art class) i walk up to the giant cabinets full of supplies for art stuff and open them to grab a waterproofish paper-stuff and as i walk out of the area of the cabnet he walks near it and says something (kind of in a non-chalont manner to the room but clearly facing me only) askng where something was and i just blanked out for a couple of seconds and dismissed it and walked off. 2nd time (in art class really recently like 3 days ago) i was in a separate room and came over to go to a small cabinet for an art pencil and as i was walking inbetween these desks to make a right past them to the cabinet on the opposite side he was walking the exact same time as me. i thought when i looked back a second after in my mind that he had looked at me while walking and then as i walked up to the cabinet he walked infront (not in a rude way just a he got there first) and i went to grab the pencil box from reaching from behind him into the cabinet but i stopped cuz he was doing the same as me and i felt like i should let him go first and he grabbed the box and shook it and two fell out (now i know what u might think ow how paranoid he's just being normal) but i myself would not rashly let two fall into my hand but he did all the while out of the corner of my eye i think he glanced at me so i waited for him to put them back so i could take one but he stood there for a breif second waiting and i stupid as i am didnt put my hand out to say thanks and take them instead i just stood there derp . but yeah those are the two main reasons why (even though this is long) i have a suspicion but i would really like tips on how to notice if he is gay because i dont reall know if i could go up to him because of his social crowd and how they might think differant so thats why im so non-proactive about trying to talk to him because im shy. any tips of things that may help would be appreciated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf Of Amazin Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 i dnt think he is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennyson Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 The only way one can know about another's sexuality is either by social understanding(he is known to be gay) or actually knowing him personally. Otherwise, you will never know. So, start speaking with him and learn about him. Even so, based on what you said i know he is into bad stuff like drugs and other stuff he most likely would not be an appropriate person to hang with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
learningtofly Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 There's no way to tell if he's gay by observing short of seeing him making out with another guy. Observation can only take you so far, you have to talk to him. he most likely would not be an appropriate person to hang with. I agree, if you're thinking those are bad things then the guy you're into shouldn't do those things. Don't compromise your standards, particularly in this case seeing as you don't know him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Godel Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 First of all, congratulations on having the courage to come out to your parents. That took guts that a lot of high schoolers simply don't have. It doesn't really sound like he's into you, he might just be friendly. When I was in high school, there were many times that I mistook acts of kindness as signs of romantic interest. Two pieces of advice: If you ask him out, be prepared for it to get out that you are gay. Worst case scenario, he's offended that another guy would ask him out and he tells everyone at school that you approached him. He might even get violent, please, please, please, be careful. If (big if) he is gay and he isn't prepared to come out (at least to his family and friends) it will always be an issue. You should never have to settle for someone that is ashamed of you. Whatever happens, just remember that you're in high school, everyone is socially awkward in high school. When you get to be old like me, you'll look back and laugh at yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hujiox Posted June 16, 2012 Author Share Posted June 16, 2012 Whatever happens, just remember that you're in high school, everyone is socially awkward in high school. When you get to be old like me, you'll look back and laugh at yourself. yeah that's why even though he's into drugs i believe he's just doing it to fit in with his crowd tbh and thanks for the advice ^^ and dw i know not to just go up and say u wanna go out with me because for sure in Australian school it would spread like * * * fire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hujiox Posted June 16, 2012 Author Share Posted June 16, 2012 i would really like if someone would post about eye contact because recently another guy i know and talk to gives me alot of eye contact but not it a im just looking and talking to you way but a glance for "no reason" and looking away (basically our eyes frequently meet for no reason then break apart and im the one who keeps more eye contact and he shy's away i dunno someone comment and help me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elgreco Posted June 24, 2012 Share Posted June 24, 2012 Hello Hujiox, You may be falling in love for this guy ( I have experienced this many times in my life), you're both young and this is all new for you. This is just the beginning in your youth life where you experience all kind of feelings, like lust, infatuation, feeling a crush on some one, love, etc.. All these feeling can be confusing for all of us, no one can say that he/she is certain of their own feeling until they are certain. Now, my advise to you, young man, is that you have to find a way to just relax when he is around you. When you guys make eye contact, try no to freeze, and instead, smile and say high very casual.. and carry on with whatever you were doing at the moment. Don't look at him long enough to make the situation awkward. The next time you guys meet again, do the same and if you are doing an activity in the same room, and you see the opportunity to have a little conversation, say something like: Hi, I see you all the time, my name is....., nice to meet you. And offer a handshake. After this if he engages in a conversation you carry on, it would just flow easily. But if he gets nervous, he may just say his name. In this case, you say something like, it was nice meeting you ....., I'll see you around. And continue with whatever you were about to do. Try to find common grounds, like the sports he plays, what you've seen he likes, the clothes he wears, etc... and make a comment next time you guys cross each other. Like for example, " I see you play rugby, I really like it, when do you have practice, maybe I could come and give it a try.." or "That is a nice lather jacket, were did you get it, I've been looking for something like this"... and just keep it simple and casual. This way you are braking the ice and warming up things to be more engaging. If he is interested in you, you will know it. The key is to find those things that connect you both, in your observations make notes of the things he does that you like too. Now, I also advise you to be active in other fun things to do at your age and at any age, be active in sports, music, school theatre, fun trip for camping with other school mates, parties, etc.. You will find other interesting guys along the way, and it may easy your mind away from this guy. It would help you to be more confident and relax when you approach him. Last advise is the fact that you are king of certain he is into drugs, if you feel this is true, and you feel that you could deal with this situation, and still want to meet him, I want you to be careful, don't do any drugs or anything, it's not worth it. If he is into that, he may expose you to do it too, and you will be in that stage where you will do anything to fit in with what he likes. He then may no be the right person for you. He may need other kind of help to go on a different direction. Just be careful. Thanks for reading Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hujiox Posted June 26, 2012 Author Share Posted June 26, 2012 Thankyou sooo much i needed some good advice. ill take into account everything you said and your right socializing and stuff makes it easier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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