I'm thinking of doing something crazy

[TheVP]

Some of you here know that I’ve had a gf from Mexico that returned home back in spring. When she went away, I was kind of tongue tied, and I felt how awful how cold my farewell to her was. After missing her like crazy, and thinking she had forgotten about me, I received a letter (about 4 weeks after she sent it) in the snail-mail from her expressing somewhat that she has feelings for me.

 

I wrote a letter to her via snail-mail to the address she provided to me (I wish she used email), and I was disappointed to have the letter returned to me with a bunch of Mexican postage markings all over the letter. Maybe it’s for the better, I don’t know if my letter was much better than my farewell to her, but I feel really bad that she probably thinking I’ve forgotten about her now.

 

I've been doing a lot to move on. I’ve been working long hours at the office, I’ve scheduled lots of out of town business meetings with clients and our sales managers. I’ve even hung out with some women that I’ve used to date. But it seems that whenever I’m alone at my place, she’s still the only one I think and wonder about.

 

In any case, lately I've been becoming obsessed with checking out Internet sites about her city, and checking out flights out to Mexico. I have a lot of important business appointments scheduled for awhile, so I cannot miss any work on weekdays but it looks like:

 

I can fly out of Minnesota Saturday, June 23, 7:10 AM and arrive in Mexico City around 2:25 PM. I can take a taxi from Mexico City to her town and arrive around 7 PM. I could stay for a few hours to see her, and then take the taxi and arrive back to Mexico City very early Sunday morning. There is a Sunday flight from Mexico City to Minneapolis at 7:40 am, so I would be back home by late Sunday afternoon. There are later flights, but I have to fly to Boston on Monday, so I’m wanting to take the earliest flight in case if there are delays.

 

I have pictures of her home descriptions of the surrounding area, and I’m hoping to see if I can get any more information from any of her cousins if they are able to come up with more information to finding her is a sure thing (the address she gave me was just a PO BOX).

 

I’m afraid of getting lost, and just driving around with some Mexican taxi driver for a few hours, give up, and then have to go back home. I’m afraid of how she’ll react if I just drop in unexpectedly. I’m afraid of getting tongue tied again, and saying goodbye as awful as I did when she left. Except this time I would really look like a fool to show up for a few hours, have nothing special to say, and then go away. And what in the world would I say to her? I’ll probably be greeted by her family along with her. “Hi. I’m just passing through town, thought I’d drop in and say Hi” or what?? I won't be able to have more time than a weekend until later in the summer because of my job.

 

So when I think of these things that might happen, then I think it’s probably the dumbest idea in the world. But in a few hours, I begin to think about her, and how I actually could see her again in about a week, so I go back to that travel website and look at prices and times for plane tickets and keep wondering “do I click that “Purchase” button?”

[Mercurial Girl]

I wouldn't.

 

Your very short-lived relationship didn't even seem very...promising to begin with.

[mines]

I like the idea, actually. You really have nothing to lose. But, I'd try to get her home address, more than a p.o. box, and make sure you can verify it. (perhaps send a piece of mail to her with a return receipt requested). Make sure you have a verified physical address, then go for it.

 

At the least, it would be an adventure. What to say to her? That you just can't stop thinking of her.

 

Go for it, but get the info, first. I wish you luck!!!

[Gabrielle84]

I remember reading a couple of your posts before and I liked your story, so Im glad to see you back I've wondered, did you guys manage to communicate better towards the end of your relationship or was it still mainly through others translating? I just dont see how you can fall so hard for someone despite that huge barrier...how do you get to know her, to connect with her in some way? I know it's happened of course, but I guess at some point one has to learn the language of the other. And now you guys being apart, in different countries, it makes the whole thing less likely.

 

Anyway, I think she will be very happy to see you, I'm almost positive that will be her reaction. I just dont know how it will help you move on if that's what you want to do. I mean, what will happen after that? Will you continue traveling to Mexico? Will you bring her back to the states at some point? Are your feelings that strong? Her traditional/strict family is also a barrier.

 

If you go, make sure you can at least get her exact location from her friends or something before going, you must know Mexico is a particularly dangerous place at the moment. It wouldnt be wise to just get there and embark on the adventure of finding her place based on some pictures or vague directions.

[chitown9]

Hi VP...glad to see you back as well. I would inquire with her cousins as to how to contact her. Ask if there is a phone number that you can reach her. Also, inquire about internet correspondence. I would definetely try to correspond with her before you make an unexpected trip. Maybe show the the returned letter that you sent to her and ask if they understand why it was returned to you.....

[allielynn]

how romantic!

[allielynn]

PS: It would be very impulsive. Not one of the brightest things I've seen.

 

Mexico is a whole nother COUNTRY. And... it wouldn't be fair to surprise her like that.

 

But....HOW ROMANTIC If a guy did that for me...i might faint.

[RedDress]

So... you plan to show up to her house unexpectedly on a Saturday night and (hundreds of dollars later) hope she's home? Don't most people go out on a Saturday night?

 

And I wonder how much a 4.5 hour taxi ride will cost you. Are you sure there's no other way?

 

If you can talk to her cousins, get her address and start by mailing the letter. While you idea is romantic, I don't think it's realistic.

[abitbroken]

Pros:

 

A romantic gesture

You will make a statement

You will get to see her

You can tell her how you feel

 

Cons:

You don't know for sure if you have the right address because letters were returned.

You could miss her and not find her or she might not be home

Mexico is not what it was 15 years ago. There are some very dangerous places for people who don't know where they are going.

You are in the country for such a short time, customs and immigration thinks you are a terror threat.

 

I think that the only way this will work is

 

1) You have a plan on what you want to happen next. Is it for closure? Or is it for continuation? Unless its for closure, you know the dad is probably going to either expect a proposal or at least a reasonable coincidence that you are there (you have a business meeting).

2) You don't have such a tight schedule in case there are delays, you get held up in customs or something unexpected like a broken down car, happens.

3) You can verify where she actually is.

4) You have a good enough reason to tell customs and immigration what your purpose is.

 

I think you also are best to go with someone who can be your guide and knows the area and language. You would do fine in a resort area, but 4 1/2 hours outside of Mexico city is not like going 4 1/2 hours outside of Chicago.

[ApocalypseDreams]

Have you done much travel? Can you speak Spanish? Do you look Mexican? If not, you are going to have a massive sign over your head that says "Mug me!/Rip me off!/Scam me!" and they'd be the best of the possible worst case scenarios. 4 and a half hours out of Mexico City? You know that Mexico is pretty dangerous don't you? That people get murdered and kidnapped? If you are not 100% sure where you are going, getting lost or looking lost or asking directions is going to attract attention from less than friendly people.

 

Abitbroken makes a good point. I'm not sure what the immigration and customs is like in Mexico, but if you came to Australia etc for a day on a return flight, they'd want to know why you were staying for 24 hours or less. How are you going to explain that? Most likely you'd need names, numbers and addresses to verify your story. Do you have these?

 

Unfortunately, Mexico is not the place to make a quick off the cuff, romantic surprise trip to win over a girl. Situations in these countries can turn into a nightmare very quickly.

[TheVP]

Thanks for your input. I think you guys have talked me out of it. I'm going to meet her cousins later today to call at her dad's place of work (I'm pretty sure they'll have that number) and work from there.

[chitown9]

Another idea to think about, VP, is to send for her to come back to the USA for a trip. She would probably would enjoy that and it would be safer for everyone that way....chi

[abitbroken]

Another idea to think about, VP, is to send for her to come back to the USA for a trip. She would probably would enjoy that and it would be safer for everyone that way....chi

 

That would definitely be chaperoned, and the father would certainly grill him about his intentions. Does he want to marry her, etc? that would be the question.

[TheVP]

After making failed attempts to make contact at the business her dad works at, I finally just said "Screw it!" and clicked on the button to purchase plane tickets. I don't feel it's such an insane idea as it sounds. I mean, for starters, I spend a huge amount of my life flying and traveling, so most of the day will feel rather routine to me, just more time flying.

 

I'm not going to find whatever random taxi driver when I get there to take me to some dangerous unknown destination. I've already found a reputable taxi service and have arranged for an English speaking driver to meet me at the airport and drive me to this city, wait for me and drive me back. A little expensive, but a lot less than it would paying for an American taxi service.

 

I do not know the exact address of her house, but I know her house is on the same street of the grade school in her town. It's a small town, so it'd be the only grade school there, and I have some pretty good pictures of her house.

 

My biggest concern, as someone mentioned, is what if she's out during a Saturday night. I'm just hoping that being a small town, and from a traditional family, she won't be out partying. If someone asked me what I did last weekend, I would answer that I spent 3 hours at the gym, worked on a sales presentation, played board games with my grandma, and watched a few hours of of LOST on DVD.

 

Next week, at the very least, I can answer that I ate tacos and watched a sunset in the mountains of Mexico.

 

I don't really know my end game here at all. I guess when I get obsessed with something, I can't stop until I do something.

[chitown9]

 

I don't really know my end game here at all. I guess when I get obsessed with something, I can't stop until I do something.

 

I will be thinking about you and I am relieved to learn that you have taken steps to ensure your safety. I wish you Godspeed and that you come home safely and with more peace in your heart than you have now.

Here is to your safe return.....

[Habibi]

HELL YEAH !!!!!

bro, if you feel like that...just plunge !!!!

get the ticket... Hola Mexico lindo, estoy aqui !!!

What to say to her ? besides hola ? exactly what you told here (just exclude the dating/seeing exs ).

I would do it ! Heck ! im gonna live only once.

this is an adventure you will remember for always !

[Habibi]

YES ! YES !! YES !!!

Damn, i feel like doing something like this myself...right now...I think you got me all worked up !!

This is truly what people call "having guts"

You going straight to my Hall of Fame.

[TheVP]

Well, last weekend I made the trip to Mexico and back. The flights arrived as scheduled, and it was easy to locate my driver at the airport. I arrived in my gf's small town in early evening. The city reminded me of something from a movie, as it seemed almost too Mexicoish to me. When we arrived there, the driver found another taxi driver and asked him for further directions. It didn't take long to find the house with the red door from the picture I had.

 

So, I nervously went out and knocked on the door, and waited. Unfortunately, nobody answered, so I went back into the car to wait for awhile. After waiting another hour, I asked the driver to drive me around town to see the sites (like a Plaza, and little markets, etc.). I got ordered some food from a little restaurant, and had a quick dinner, and then had the driver take me back there after an hour or so. Still no one was there. Behind their gate, I saw a bunch of solar lamps light up as it got darker. I remember my gf buying those while she was in MN because she said she couldn't get those in Mexico, so it confirmed I was at the right place. I knocked on the door really loud and kind of yelled, just to make sure that if someone was home they could hear me.

 

I waited around until around 11:30, and as someone here warned me about, no one ever showed up at the house that night.

 

Finally, I took out one of my business cards, and on the back of it, I wrote "Hey, I'm missing you too. Get an email address. Get a phone number." I signed it, dated it, and put a time on it and then I securely attached it to the door handle to the gate. Very disappointed as you can imagine, we headed back to Mexico city at that time.

 

I guess I was preparing myself for the worst, and I loved the experience of visiting that little quaint Mexican mountain town, even if for a very short while. So, I can't say I regret making the trip. At least I got it out of my system

[chitown9]

I feel disappointed for you. She was probably with her family visiting other family members in a neighboring town. Did you put your girlfriend's name on the note that you left on the door knob? I think that she will be equally disappointed to know that she missed you. It is not over yet, however....