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If you've seen my previous posts you will know that my girlfriend of 2 years left me for another guy. They got together immediately. She posted things on twitter being horrible to me, letting the world know that they had slept together.. Then a whole scenario with me owning her money, then i saw her in a club and she text me a couple of days later saying 'why was you so out of order'

 

Anyway this completely ruined me, broke my heart, I got depressed and just felt utterly crap.

 

I started counselling and had two counselling sessions so far, and now I just want to talk to her. After everything it seems so unreal that is happened. I want her back but I don't if that makes sense. I don't know if I'd take her but I don't want her to disappear from my life forever.

 

She's (as am I) going to uni in september so it's unlikely that the relationship with the new kid will work. I just want to talk to her and see how it goes. I still love her more than anything but she seems to hate me. I don't want it to be like that. If it wasnt for the new kid I think I'd try and get her back...

 

I'd like to end up with her one day still. I don't know what to do?

 

Thoughts?

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I think you may want to read all the posts on getting back with an ex... There is no problem in communicating with them again, but not right now. You know it yourself...If you were to talk to her now, it probably wouldn't go well and would just push her away even further. Stick with you therapy sessions and try and stay strong. You have to believe in the lame old saying "if it's meant to be, you will be together".

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Did she really phrase the text "'why was you so out of order'"?

Whew!

 

This woman's behavior was completely terrible.

There is no future with this one my friend.

Just another fix so you can start withdrawing all over again.

 

Stay N/C.

It will pass and you'll be glad you did.

 

OSP

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Yeah I saw her at the club, totally avoided her. She was with her new boyfriend. I didn't talk to her, done nothing that could possibly offend her and the text said 'why was you so out of order on Saturday'

 

I feel like there is a future with her, we was so perfect together.

 

And I feel that she only put it on twitter to get to me

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SWilliams, I'll humor you for a second here, because I'm the #1 member of the "club of people who contacted their exes despite EVERYONE's advice to the contrary"

 

If you were to contact her, what would you say? I mean how would you approach it, what would be your first opening statement or greeting or whatever. You could be simple and say hi and be friendly and that would most likely get a response unless she really does hate you which she doesn't, despite her atrocious behavior to this point. But most people dont re-contact their exes after a breakup just to say hi, so thats beside the point.

 

What do you want to say to her?

 

Thnk first of what you would say to her in an ideal situation? In another words, go ahead and think about it and write it down (or even post it here) what you would say or send her, something professing regret, love for her, appreciation, a need for her. I'm not making fun of it either, honestly. Whatever your mind thinks you should send her, you should write it down or post it or whatever.

 

THEN, think about what you'd say now... considering the new boyfriend, considering how things have been and your own depression, and if you were to contact her under these circumstances, ask yourself how much you would have to change or omit from what you wrote down originally (in the first scenario). After editing it down, do you STILL have something that you believe would get your point accross and gives you the best chance to receive a positive response?

 

I'm hoping that by doing this, you'll see that there's not much to be gained, but then again, everyone's different. Just whatever you do DON'T SEND HER the first thing that pops into your mind that I mentioned. I don't doubt that you've given this considerable thought but right now is not the time to contact, regardless of the message. Hope this helps

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No good will come of it. I know how you feel. After just a few days, it starts to make sense, that reaching out might not be a bad idea. But assume the worst. She will use it against you and do everything she can to make getting over her impossible.

 

You risk the progress you've made with your counselor, and with yourself. Not a good idea right now.

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