Betrayed by sister

[If a]

My story starts 20 years ago. I was unmarried and pregnant. Visiting my dads house one day and the father of my child pulls up and my sister gets out of the car...something had clearly gone on. I was obviously livid, told my parents, neither of whom did anything about it and so I was left to deal with it alone. My sister never apologized or would even acknowledge the situation. I stopped talking to her for years but we were both in and out of my parents house so it was difficult. My family has a long history of depression, anxiety, alcoholism and a laundry list of things so I got away as quickly as I could, got married and went off to live my own life while my family continued to make each other miserable.

 

Fast forward about 3 years ago, my parents both had cancer and my mother passed away...my step-brothers were in town for the funeral and were talking to my son about why I wasn't hanging out with family. My stepbrothers (who I had never discussed this with) told my son they knew why because they were at the house when my boyfriend and my sister were there together. Just when I thought I was over it, I hear that!

 

While my father was sick, my sister became his power of attorney and the person all his medical and financial affairs were handled through, she is also on his bank accts...all without my or my other two sisters knowledge. I didn't go to the hospital at the same time she did for obvious reasons, well I never was privy to any information about my dad. Her excuse is that it wasn't her job to tell me anything. The next year, my dad who gives us money for Christmas gave my sister all of our checks. Guess who didn't get one? I really didn't think much about it until 6 months later when my sister mentioned something about it...I asked her if she rcvd money from my dad and she said that they all did. Now my dad wouldn't leave one of us out. So, My sister kept my check. In addition, he has no will, and my sister is on his bank accounts, guess what's going to happen there when he passes away?!? He is 90 years old.

 

I have attempted to talk to her on several occasions and she dismisses me, rolls her eyes and flat out lies! I had not seen her in 2 years until Saturday, she showed up, uninvited, to my other sisters house while I was there. Prior to that, the other sister had been telling me some stories about her so I was not in the mood to deal nicely with her and basically lit into her in front kids and all. I told her I just want to know why she betrayed me, not only was she my sister but my best friend and she slept with a man I loved and was having a child with. Since we were in front of family she denied even ever being in his presence which made me even more mad, I cussed her out. So, now my family tells me that I need to forgive and forget...I ask why aren't I good enough for the truth and an apology. Honestly I never think about the situation until she's in my presence. No one in my family is on my side, or just doesn't want to get in the middle. I feel so alone, and it's so much easier to retreat from them again, in fact I thinks it's best so I don't have to have any interactions with my sister. What is the best way to handle the situation?

[btonyb321]

Pray to forgive her but not forget she is a nasty piece of work I have family I love but I do not like and they can be ruthless too. The resentment will only eat away at you please do not expect an apology that would be an admission of guilt and probably she is not capable of that. It's easy for your family to say forgive it's not their feelings that have been hurt if it were them it would possibly be the other way around if your family are like mine they are perhaps very hypocritical. But my advice is try to forgive you don't have to talk to her any-more but I bet one day if not today she rues the day she ever slept with your boyfriend and the price she has had to pay and the price you have paid too. I am sorry for you she did that but I hope one day she does see the error of her ways and makes it up to you.