renewing Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 I think people with amazing and sweet families (really close siblings, nice parents..etc. ) always seem so much more attractive to people. Thoughts on this/does anyone agree with me? And just how important is your loved one's family in your decision on whether or not to marry them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dynaudio Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 I think women put more weight on this than men. It kind of makes me feel bad for some guys who didn't have the privilege of growing up in a healthy family environment; it's like they'll always be judged by society for something they had no control over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 I think there' a lot to be said for only children!!!! Family (good) is great --- but every family has its dysfunction if you are around it long enough. Sure, the flip side can be a nightmare, but on the whole, I think the focus is on your partner and building a future with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renewing Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 Well I am in a weird situation cause I am technically an only child and I have half siblings. I feel like people with close siblings think I'm weird because I go back and forth between having no siblings and having siblings. And what's hard is I actually was raised separately too, since my parents are divorced. So yeah, my parents and siblings are really nice it's just I feel like our family is a little on the strange side? I don't think this should have an affect on a relationship but I feel like it sometimes does. I agree with Dynaudio but I didn't realize that maybe it is more the case for women than for men. Personally I wouldn't care if a guy had a close knit family or not. If he did though I would feel like he maybe would prefer someone who was more like him and also grew up in that environment, but yeah... I really agree that people shouldn't be judged by these things that there is no control over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrianH46 Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 This may sound bad but I would only marry a girl who comes from a family that is non-divorced. To an extent our parents teaches us the values of marriage and I feel divorced parents put a much higher value in self rather then family which is fine but not what I 'm looking for. The only reason I want a girl with a close family is because I am looking for someone who will stay by my side through the good and especially the difficult times excluding infidelity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeryConfused17 Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 I don't think that having a loving family makes them more attractive, or draws me more towards them. I come from a slightly dysfunctional family, then again who doesn't. My ex had a very caring and loving family with their own minute dysfunctions, but not to the extent of mine. This caused some issues, because she couldn't always grasp the family issues I had to deal with and she would often judge me on my reactions, or she would just let it be and ignore it. I find that everyone does have their own family issues to deal with and putting up the front that you're family is perfect is false and annoying. I often find myself attracted to women who have similair family situations to the one like mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowplay Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Well, I think people who have grown up in loving families are often likely to be more grounded and healthy psychologically, which in turn is attractive (at least from my perspective). My H has a very healthy family, and it does make family relations much easier to deal with than dysfunctional ones. Having said that, I would never use that as a criteria for deciding whether to marry someone (unless there was an extreme case of family members harassing me or something of the sort). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coconut Twin Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 That's how I feel as a women and men do care about those things - family togetherness and such like...I had many a dispute where family was the main topic. P.s. I was raised in a dysfunctional family, BUT that don't automatically make me messed up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savignon Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 My husband's family is great but lives very, very far away from us and I had barely gotten to know them before we got married. It wasn't a factor although I often wish they lived closer so we could enjoy them more!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rangafro Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 This may sound bad but I would only marry a girl who comes from a family that is non-divorced. To an extent our parents teaches us the values of marriage and I feel divorced parents put a much higher value in self rather then family which is fine but not what I 'm looking for. The only reason I want a girl with a close family is because I am looking for someone who will stay by my side through the good and especially the difficult times excluding infidelity. Wow... this is just... so many generalizations and lazy assumptions in so few sentences.... I don't know where to start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coconut Twin Posted June 13, 2012 Share Posted June 13, 2012 This may sound bad but I would only marry a girl who comes from a family that is non-divorced. To an extent our parents teaches us the values of marriage and I feel divorced parents put a much higher value in self rather then family which is fine but not what I 'm looking for. The only reason I want a girl with a close family is because I am looking for someone who will stay by my side through the good and especially the difficult times excluding infidelity. This post is so OFF! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidehop Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 This may sound bad but I would only marry a girl who comes from a family that is non-divorced. To an extent our parents teaches us the values of marriage and I feel divorced parents put a much higher value in self rather then family which is fine but not what I 'm looking for. The only reason I want a girl with a close family is because I am looking for someone who will stay by my side through the good and especially the difficult times excluding infidelity. While there are statistics that may indicate children of divorced parents have some negative effect on their outlook in terms of marriage, there's nothing concrete nor affect every single person where their parents are in fact divorced. But having said that, it's definitely a good thing if not a positive thing when the partner has good family relationship overall. Aside from all the psychological factors, there's nothing more painful and all too common annoying to deal with family members that make your life living hell. I certainly wouldn't make it an important factor in determining whether or not I would be with that person either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Habibi Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 this is soooo true !!! it definitely makes the difference. one thing i have always been told is what a beautiful family i got, which i do. two of my exs still keep in touch with them, some even go back to my parents house to stay for some days visiting them (one went last year for a week ). I think people with amazing and sweet families (really close siblings, nice parents..etc. ) always seem so much more attractive to people. Thoughts on this/does anyone agree with me? And just how important is your loved one's family in your decision on whether or not to marry them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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