rickyspanish Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 so im in day 18 of NC with her and she randomly texts my mom today saying sorry i havnt text you guys i meant to but ive been busy. how are you guys?" what does this mean? why is she still talking to my mom.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discouraged Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 uhhh... sorry, thats pretty funny haha but not sure. maybe trying to keep things open? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rostik77 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Hahaha i still text me ex's mom she's so funny and she loves me lol. I don't see anything wrong with it, i'm really close with her parents and sister they're life family to me so its kinda hard to not talk to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainbows1 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Your mom may have a good relationship with your girlfriend. I still talk to my exes mom, I have no feelings for my ex. Sometimes you end up having a great friendship with peoples parents, just because a relationship ends doesn't mean you can't still keep it friendly with their family (as long as its not obsessive) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rickyspanish Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 Your mom may have a good relationship with your girlfriend. I still talk to my exes mom, I have no feelings for my ex. Sometimes you end up having a great friendship with peoples parents, just because a relationship ends doesn't mean you can't still keep it friendly with their family (as long as its not obsessive) I agree but they wernt THAT close. my parents did alot for her letting her stay here and stuff so it could be guilt but its not like they were so close hanging out and talking alot. and the fact that she goes weeks without saying anything to me or them and then all of the sudden out of the blue texts her when theres no reason to is strange to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coconut Twin Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Maybe she just feels guilty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClarityCoast Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 If they weren't THAT close...then this is an indirect way of making contact with you. Plan. And. Simple. She's hoping your mom will turn around and say, "Oh I heard from so-and-so....." Bait. Hook. She wins. On the other hand...if they WERE very close...it is what it is. I am close to my ex's mother. If he was not in the picture...we'd still be friends. But this doesn't sound like your scenario. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natasha24 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 How long were you two together? Maybe she developed a relationship with your family. I haven't talked to my ex in months and I plan on never speaking to him again, but sometimes I text/FB his family because they grew to be part of my life. We weren't necessarily "close" in the sense that I hung out with them every day or whatever, but I don't want to lose them from my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rickyspanish Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 How long were you two together? Maybe she developed a relationship with your family. I haven't talked to my ex in months and I plan on never speaking to him again, but sometimes I text/FB his family because they grew to be part of my life. We weren't necessarily "close" in the sense that I hung out with them every day or whatever, but I don't want to lose them from my life. we were together for about 5 months officialy. she knew my parents for about 3 of those months. just seems strange. she told my mom how shes working 16 hour days and blah blah. then she told her shes planning on visiting germany in september (its where she grew up and all her family lives). seems strange she texts out of the blue just to tell her these things. and of coruse my mom told me everything she said so looked like it wokred lol. it doesnt bother me though. if anything makes me feel empowerd to know she still thinks of me. definitely dont plan on making contact with her ever again and if she initiates it i think i might ignore it unless its really * * * * ing important. no "i miss you lets be friends" crap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natasha24 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 we were together for about 5 months officialy. she knew my parents for about 3 of those months. just seems strange. she told my mom how shes working 16 hour days and blah blah. then she told her shes planning on visiting germany in september (its where she grew up and all her family lives). seems strange she texts out of the blue just to tell her these things. and of coruse my mom told me everything she said so looked like it wokred lol. it doesnt bother me though. if anything makes me feel empowerd to know she still thinks of me. definitely dont plan on making contact with her ever again and if she initiates it i think i might ignore it unless its really * * * * ing important. no "i miss you lets be friends" crap. I don't think it necessarily means she's thinking about you, and I don't think it necessarily means she wants your mom to pass on the information either. She might just be trying to keep your mom in her life, even if it is out of the blue. I would just ignore it unless she messages you directly, since you can't figure out her motives on your own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rickyspanish Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 Of course it means shes thinking about me in some way. you dont text your ex's parents without the thought of your ex atleast somewhere in the back of your mind. but yea im not worrying too much about it. still going strong on NC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainbows1 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Of course it means shes thinking about me in some way. you dont text your ex's parents without the thought of your ex atleast somewhere in the back of your mind. but yea im not worrying too much about it. still going strong on NC. I text my exes mom today to tell her I had started a new job, because she told me to keep her updated on things. How do you know she hasn't told your ex to keep in touch with her because she thinks she is a nice girl and thought a lot of her even in the short space of time? However, due to it being so close to the break up maybe she does want to stay on your mothers good side, I think the fact you said you felt 'empowered' by the fact she was thinking of you was a bit much, unless she was the dumper, it sounds like you're enjoying her pain if you were the dumper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rickyspanish Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 Because i live wiht my parents and am in constant communication with my mom. my mom said nothing of that sort to keep in touch. and i know there relationship doesnt extend to keeping in touch wiht eachothers lives. and if it was the case my ex is being genuinely friendly and just saying hi to my mom why does she go 1 month without saying a word to my mom. no texts, no facebook commubnication no liking eachothers posts, nothing. they used to do that while were together then she stops for over a month then all of the sudden today wants to get in touch? im not buying it. and she said you "guys" my dad doesnt even ahve a cell phone so i dont know what that meant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Back in my day, you spoke to your girlfriend's parents as little as possible. Facebook and cellphones didn't exist either. Those were simpler times. Now it seems everyone has traded in common sense for technology. Go figure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rickyspanish Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 and if it means anything my mom was the one who showed me the text because she herself thought it was strange of her to send it out of the blue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natasha24 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Because i live wiht my parents and am in constant communication with my mom. my mom said nothing of that sort to keep in touch. and i know there relationship doesnt extend to keeping in touch wiht eachothers lives. and if it was the case my ex is being genuinely friendly and just saying hi to my mom why does she go 1 month without saying a word to my mom. no texts, no facebook commubnication no liking eachothers posts, nothing. they used to do that while were together then she stops for over a month then all of the sudden today wants to get in touch? im not buying it. and she said you "guys" my dad doesnt even ahve a cell phone so i dont know what that meant. Maybe it hurt her to think about talking to your mom so soon after the breakup, or maybe she felt it was tacky and wanted to give a little breather room before she contacted your mom again. We don't know. I don't think you should be so certain that this is about you - she might genuinely just trying to keep in touch with your mom because she likes your mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rickyspanish Posted June 11, 2012 Author Share Posted June 11, 2012 Maybe it hurt her to think about talking to your mom so soon after the breakup, or maybe she felt it was tacky and wanted to give a little breather room before she contacted your mom again. We don't know. I don't think you should be so certain that this is about you - she might genuinely just trying to keep in touch with your mom because she likes your mom. ya i agree its not for certain i just have a strong hunch. i mean maybe its not all about me but something made her decide to text my mom. it just feels like something she would do....but its not like im going to do anything about it anwyay i just think its interesting... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumPI Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 she wants you to get the message, and she did it through your parents. moreover if your parents answer her, that will mean to her that things are not so bad (guilt relief) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jay1234 Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 She wants you to get the message which is pretty low. If I were you Id ask your mum not to pass the info on to you, or to ignore the texts. Unless they were good friends which you said they wern't, then there shoudnt really be any reason for your ex to contact your mum. Like Dumpi said she's trying to remove her guilt. Pretty immature if you ask me. Keep smileing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kts Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 so i didnt read all the posts but i keep in touch with my exes mom. however, she and i were close and it wasnt out of the blue. it doesnt really mean anything when i talk to her. i dont think she tells my ex that we talk and its always casual just checking in and saying hi. that being said, your situation is a little odd. you and your ex weren't together that long and they werent close. i agree with what some other people have said, it sounds like she wants to see how you are but doesnt have the balls to say it directly to you. it also could be that she was having a down day and like people said, feeling guilty. i wouldnt read too much into and try not to stress yourself about it and panic. if it bothers you that much send her a text and tell her it bothers you and ask her to respect your space. but try not to let it bug you! keep going nc as long as you can!! good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imprimatur Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Well, you guys are more evolved in this area than I am it would seem. Here are my thoughts. Its only 18 days NC, so lots of mixed feelings still, but I think its odd that she texted. Perhaps she is trying to see where and how she can still fit in with people she knew, but without the relationship, perhaps it was a moment of weakness and frustration for her. You just don't know. I wouldn't like it myself. You two didn't go out for that long, so I expect that it will fade away as she moves on with her life. My own experience: I share many mutual friends with my ex, they were mine before hers. I will admit that it makes me mad that she feels the need to keep in contact with them,(there is more to the story of course) but I know that its a fair amount of insecurity on her part that drives it. We all want to be thought of in a good way by people, and B/Ups can often cause a division in friends and she probably wants to make sure she is not being demonized. Maybe she wants to make it a popularity contest..who knows.. Its interesting who she has reached out to. Its an emotional issue on my part I know. Most know that I don't want any information relayed back to me. However...it (the contact) stops at my family and they know that. As in: there is no REAL contact (except for some facebook interaction between her and my one brothers GF..) . They all got along great back in the day(her and my family), but I want a certain amount of space, free from her, and my family is where I draw the line. Its my last refuge and its closest to my heart. To all of you that keep in contact with your ex's friends, and particularly family...I will ask that you consider that carefully. Consider your ultimate motives in doing it, and decide if it might be torturing someone that already has bad feelings over a breakup. If you still care about them on some level, then make sure it doesn't affect them. You have other friends, you did OK without their family before. Give your ex space even if it might mean losing an aquaintence. I was the dumpee, I of course have the hard feelings. When she decided to move on she wanted to stay friends, I tried but decided to sever all ties because it was too painful for me . I have come so very very far, but I get set-back sometimes when I happen to hear news. I couldn't imagine having to hear about that sort of stuff from my family members socializing with her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rickyspanish Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 It was day 18 NC but its been about a month and a half since the BU. i had small periods of NC when one of us would break it and then LC now ive past that point. the only mutual friends we have are from our old workplace and most of them hate her now because of this whole thing that went on that eventualy got me fired (not a direct cause by her, long story). but for the most part she doesnt talk to or communicate at all wiht my mutual friends. also we were dating offocialy for about 5 months but we were hanging out and friends for about a year so it wasnt just a small fling if that makes a difference. I have a feeling she will be reaching out to me sometime this summer. idk what she is going to say but most likely it will start with a text that says "hey." if it happens im ignoring it. i dont want to be friends with her. she lost me as a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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