Best friend & boyfriend

[-Sanguine-]

My best friend, who is also my cousin, lives 6 hours away from me. We are one year apart so we've pretty much known each other for the last 20 years. We grew up in the same place until we graduated high school and then we went on our separate ways. We still maintain our strong friendship, however it gets hard when we don't see each other (maybe every 4 months or so). We text and skype occasionally but both have busy lives and we understand that. Even when we do end up in the same place, we are both only there for 2-3 days and so we are making time with our immediate families and other friends, not just each other. Even the visits we do have are short and sweet.

 

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and he and my best friend have met a handful of times, but not for very long that they could actually get to know each other properly. Most of the time we're at a party or something or going out to the bar because when we visit it's usually on a weekend and we want to see all our friends and we arrange get togethers. Anyway, it's just hard because I want them to be able to get to know each other. She doesn't know him like I do - how sweet, genuine, and loving he is, all the nice things he does for me, how funny he is, etc.

 

We are planning on getting engaged by this time next year and it really makes me sad that my maid of honor won't even know the groom. There is not much more I can do about that.. we don't have plans (or money) for a trip we could go on together and the times I do go home to visit, sometimes my boyfriend can even come along due to work.

 

I am not really looking for advice about what to do in this situation as I feel that my options are limited and that over the years they will just have to get to know each other as much as they can when we do visit. But has anyone ever felt this way, felt sad that your two favorite people in life didn't know each other?

[chickydoodle]

You cant assume they would get on. My experience has been that when you want two people to connect 'cos both mean something to you - it can go horribly wrong.

I think just let it be. Opportunities will present in their own time for them to connect- if thay are meant to. It is beyond your control.

It is better this way than if they ccouldnt stand the sight of each other and you had that discomfort to contend with at your wedding..

[EricaNicole]

There's not really anything you can do except let things take their natural course. If the opportunity presents itself, take it, but if they don't, then let it be.

 

There's not a guarantee that they'll even like each other, and if they don't, it could put a strain on all the relationships involved.

 

I do understand how you could be sad over it, though. Personally I get sad sometimes because I don't know one of my boyfriend's brothers very well and haven't met the other brother or his girlfriend at all, but I don't stress over it. If I marry my boyfriend like I plan to, then there will be plenty of time to get to know the other people in his life, just like there will be time for your best friend and boyfriend to get to know each other.

 

No need to worry, dear.