Furbys Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Why is it wrong for me to want to be with someone who finds me attractive? Think about this logically now, do you really think he would be with you in a relationship if he did not find you attractive? No he wouldnt be, so dont look at his personal stuff again or face the consequences, like you are now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 I'm sorry you were offended Roxy, and of course a better option would have been for him to ignore that immature comment. On the other hand, I think too many people live in the Facebook world, as opposed to the real world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EQIQ Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Hmmm... I was going to say to ignore it, up until I read that it was to a girl that he used to go out with before. I would say what he said to a girl I had something with before, because it would make it seem like I am settling for someone that is not what I want, and it would make me look like a loser... that can't get what he wants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Aside from this issue, is he a good bf? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Sanguine- Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 I'm surprised some are attacking the OP for reading his message. It was on her screen when she opened her computer. I am sure 90% of people would have read it as well. I think I'd be offended too. But if this is the only issue you have with him, then I would leave it and remind yourself that if he didn't find you attractive, he wouldn't be with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedDress Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 I'm sure that in the middle of the night, when you are sleeping with your mouth open, drool is slowly dripping down your face, you are snoring and your hair is a mess - you are less than hot. Everyone is. I think it's interesting that - by that non-descript sentence - you jumped to the conclusion that he thought you were ugly. I would have thought he was being modest. He didn't want to brag and make his ex feel bad ("yeah... she's the hottest girl I've ever been with - maaaan, you should SEE her boobs!" To me, he said something nice and positive - not negative. Perspective, I guess. Do YOU think you are hot, I wonder? Why would you jump to that conclusion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 He didn't say that he didn't find you attractive. He didn't say he doesn't love you, or doesn't want to be with you, or that you are ugly, mean, nasty or anything negative at all. If you are the sort of person who thinks your boyfriend should find you hot when you wake up in the morning after a heavy night, or when you have a streaming cold, then you have strayed into Harlequin romance-land. The reason that there are stores that sell fancy clothes, make-up and scent, and that there are beauty salons, tanning salons, hair salons, waxing salons, manicure salons et al is because most people, including top models and movie stars, don't look hot all the time - they have to make the sort of effort your boyfriend is talking about. The lesson is never eavesdrop - you rarely hear things about yourself you will like. Looking at his FB is the same as eavesdropping. And expecting SO's not to talk about us is unrealistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxy77 Posted June 8, 2012 Author Share Posted June 8, 2012 I am not bothered about who he said it to I just felt like yeah he made himself seem like he was settling for me and not proud to be with me. Is he a good boyfriend - we have a good time together I can't deny that. -But I dislike that he smokes weed, -Had an ex texting him asking to see him during the entire relationship UNTIL i asked him to tell her to stop (around 10months later) -Lied about meeting an ex when I asked him not to -Used to talk about ex gfs all the time and how he spent lots of money on them then bought me nothing for christmas -Only added me to facebook around 10 months into our relationship -Has never introduced me to any of his friends because they are drug dealers and he is embarrassed to be seen with them -Refused to let me come to a party with him because he would be with his dealer mates smoking weed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Doesn't seem to me that you two are a good fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikNomis Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 This is a touchy subject. All of us tell blunt truths about people behind their back; blunt truths that we'd rather not tell them to their face because frankly there's nothing good that would come out of it. This makes it awkward if we ever do hear these blunt truths about ourselves. I think this is a case of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedDress Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 -But I dislike that he smokes weed, -Had an ex texting him asking to see him during the entire relationship UNTIL i asked him to tell her to stop (around 10months later) -Lied about meeting an ex when I asked him not to -Used to talk about ex gfs all the time and how he spent lots of money on them then bought me nothing for christmas -Only added me to facebook around 10 months into our relationship -Has never introduced me to any of his friends because they are drug dealers and he is embarrassed to be seen with them -Refused to let me come to a party with him because he would be with his dealer mates smoking weed These sound like better reasons to break up with him than the hotness comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day_Walker Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 I think that the OP has to let this go, the OP cant treat this as her bf not appreciating the effort that she puts into making herself look attractive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Your boyfriend's a loser. Dump him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeftBehind Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Your boyfriend's a loser. Dump him. Yep. Total wasteoid. Get rid of him immediately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coconut Twin Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 If the shoe was on the other foot and it was a guy on facebook asking me how hot my boyfriend was and I said "well, he looks good when he tries..." Eh? wheres the loyalty at?? I would stick up for him! Have his back - any stranger, friend or aquaintance even if it weren't true, but that's just me. That girl seems smarmy to me, something fishy, seems like she has a hidden agenda. It's like she was hoping for your man to say "yea she could do better, but you look great babe!!"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxy77 Posted June 8, 2012 Author Share Posted June 8, 2012 a guy on facebook asking me how hot my boyfriend was and I said "well, he looks good when he tries..." Eh? wheres the loyalty at?? I would stick up for him! Have his back - any stranger, friend or aquaintance even if it weren't true, but that's just me. Sums up my feelings perfectly. It's not about MY EGO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 These sound like better reasons to break up with him than the hotness comment. Agreed............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markfromark Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 wow, your list of things that you don't like about your boyfriend is one red flag after another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furbys Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Are you more bothered about his comment instead of him smoking weed, talking to ex's, wont let you meet his friends etc? If that was me id be straight out of there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavenderdove Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Horrible BF. On so many levels. I would break up with him for most of the things you listed that he is/does. Whether he thinks you are hot or not is the least of your worries with him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToF Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 This comment should be the last of your worries, roxy. You know you can find someone better than this guy - don't you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diamond78 Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 Dang, I find all of this offensive. The comment to the girl on facebook is just icing on the cake! You need to turn this one loose. Total waste of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Firecracker Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 Sounds as if you aren't too particular. Just one question. Would he be happy with these comments you made if he sneaked a look at your eNA account? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinggirl Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 Sometimes I wish my bf thinks I'm the most beautiful and hottest chick he ever dated, but I'm not. I need to accept that. And yes, it sucks when you read that awful comment, especially to someone he dated briefly in the past. (I would be furious, because I kinda type of girl who can't hang out with exes, and I hope my bf also does the same). But this is nothing compares to other things you don't like about him. Especially 'have drug dealers friends', that's very dangerous for you if he doesn't stop hanging out with those kind of friends, I honestly think you deserve a better man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjp223 Posted June 14, 2012 Share Posted June 14, 2012 Wow. Why is the OP wrong for reading something that was on her computer screen? She didn't even have to look for it. It was just there. If my boyfriend made this comment about me to anyone, I'd be pretty upset and embarrassed. And not because there's a long list of red flags in our relationship as it is. Our relationship is actually very healthy, but a comment like that is just inappropriate. I also don't see what's wrong with wanting to be with someone who thinks you're only hot, regardless of how much effort you make. If my boyfriend thought I was only hot when I made an effort, then we'd have a problem. I dress very casually most days. T-shirt, jeans, no make-up. My boyfriend tells me I don't need make-up and that I look better without it. I don't agree, but I still loves that he feels that way. Isn't it important to be with someone who's attracted to you and what you look like with out make-up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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