bananahead Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 My husband is always complaining about the way I look.He says I'm not beautiful and that I'm to hairy like I 'm wearing a fur bikini.I try to shave then he laughs and still complains and calls me patches or something and then complains about my eyebrows or something else.He doesn't like my breasts he calls me funny names like jing a ling. He likes for me to perform oral sex on him and i try to keep things spicy but it just seems like he is not attracted to me. He talks to me about how other women look so i don't even know if he is faithful.Should I be worried? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Seeker Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 My husband is always complaining about the way I look.He says I'm not beautiful and that I'm to hairy like I 'm wearing a fur bikini.I try to shave then he laughs and still complains and calls me patches or something and then complains about my eyebrows or something else.He doesn't like my breasts he calls me funny names like jing a ling. He likes for me to perform oral sex on him and i try to keep things spicy but it just seems like he is not attracted to me. He talks to me about how other women look so i don't even know if he is faithful.Should I be worried? You are still with him because...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetryandlyrics Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 He sounds verbally/emotionally abusive. A husband should never belittle a wife's (or vice versa) looks and have little care about the SO to remark on how this other person is better in appearances. He doesn't seem to respect you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeryConfused17 Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Go get a wax. Sexy yourself up. Refuse him sex for a few weeks, and tell him its because he's gained weight. See how he likes it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Seeker Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Go get a wax. Sexy yourself up. Refuse him sex for a few weeks, and tell him its because he's gained weight. See how he likes it. LOL! Let him have a taste of his own medicine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coconut Twin Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 I bet he ain't the bees knees.... Talk about disrespect. Has this been ongoing? and for how long? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coconut Twin Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Go get a wax. Sexy yourself up. Refuse him sex for a few weeks, and tell him its because he's gained weight. See how he likes it. Haha love it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrandiBroken Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 That's horrible! =( You deserve better hun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetryandlyrics Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Go get a wax. Sexy yourself up. Refuse him sex for a few weeks, and tell him its because he's gained weight. See how he likes it. Full support of this. Even my SO thought so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metrogirl Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 I wouldn't make anything spicy for him. Let him stew in his own sauce for awhile until he can learn to not be so disrespectful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Irulan Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Arguably you should run from this guy, but since you are married to him, take one time to FIX what he says is wrong with you. Just once! This kind of episode can be the result of the guy you married having a Mr. Fixit mentality. The way to separate this from mere abuse is to fix one thing and then WAIT AND SEE IF HE TARGETS something else! If he does target something, run to your divorce attorney. I feel atrocious saying that, but you deserve better than a guy who is going to mash your ego at every chance! Hugs Angel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Whats this nonsense. Tells the OP how unattractive she is then wants her to have sex with him? I am guessing the OP and her partner have been together for quite a while, which can in turn cause a couple to be rather insensitive to each other instead of suggesting and helping improve areas of each others physical attributes where possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jchstar Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Go get a wax. Sexy yourself up. Refuse him sex for a few weeks, and tell him its because he's gained weight. See how he likes it. OH! this is GOOD! Props to you. Your husband kind of sounds like an *ss. I wouldn't want to have sex with him if i was you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OutToSee Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Refuse to be treated like this any more. I second the suggestion of getting a wax. Buy yourself some sexy pumps, wear them around the house and look gorgeous. If he lays a finger on you, tell him you're tired. Then, when in bed later say, "you know, hon, I've been thinking. You're getting a little bit of a gut..." Great idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Seeker Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Refuse to be treated like this any more. I second the suggestion of getting a wax. Buy yourself some sexy pumps, wear them around the house and look gorgeous. If he lays a finger on you, tell him you're tired. Then, when in bed later say, "you know, hon, I've been thinking. You're getting a little bit of a gut..." Great idea. Ha ha ha, then pat pat the stomach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkelephant Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 No! Rub the stomach and call him buddha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Seeker Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 No! Rub the stomach and call him buddha. LMAO, What an Asian joke! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lalalollipops Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 HAHA love to see the look on his face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timebandit Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 My husband is always complaining about the way I look.He says I'm not beautiful and that I'm to hairy like I 'm wearing a fur bikini.I try to shave then he laughs and still complains and calls me patches or something and then complains about my eyebrows or something else.He doesn't like my breasts he calls me funny names like jing a ling. He likes for me to perform oral sex on him and i try to keep things spicy but it just seems like he is not attracted to me. He talks to me about how other women look so i don't even know if he is faithful.Should I be worried? You should be worried that you are accepting him treating like this.I am not saying that you should be heading directly for divorce, but something is terrible wrong in this relationship. He is systematically undermining your sense of self (and desirability). This is as close to the definition of abuse that you can possibly get. I really hope you start seeing the errors of his ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinnacle Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Go get a wax. Sexy yourself up. Refuse him sex for a few weeks, and tell him its because he's gained weight. See how he likes it. Then, when in bed later say, "you know, hon, I've been thinking. You're getting a little bit of a gut..." No! Rub the stomach and call him buddha. So fight fire with fire? This will really enhance the love in their marriage as opposed to...let's say...an evening walking through a park discussing these matters? Ya know, trying to talk it out like two adults who have been together for a significant amount of time. Being mean for the sake of being mean because he says things that lower your self esteem (and does he even realize it hurts your feelings? Are you COMMUNICATING with him?). Threaten him with a divorce lawyer without even trying to work out the issue? Geez. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coconut Twin Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 No! Rub the stomach and call him buddha. Haha hilarious! Or you can say "Whats with the Jabba the Hutt gut!" Disclaimer* This is all in jest.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EQIQ Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 So fight fire with fire? This will really enhance the love in their marriage as opposed to...let's say...an evening walking through a park discussing these matters? Ya know, trying to talk it out like two adults who have been together for a significant amount of time. Being mean for the sake of being mean because he says things that lower your self esteem (and does he even realize it hurts your feelings? Are you COMMUNICATING with him?). Threaten him with a divorce lawyer without even trying to work out the issue? Geez. From the information she provided it really doesn't sound like either would work. And it is not to "threaten him" with divorce. It is to actually go and get a divorce. I would say to talk it out with him once, see what he says, try to make changes once. If he doesn't at least appreciate that you are trying to make changes, walk away... this is absurd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OutToSee Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 So fight fire with fire? This will really enhance the love in their marriage as opposed to...let's say...an evening walking through a park discussing these matters? Ya know, trying to talk it out like two adults who have been together for a significant amount of time. Being mean for the sake of being mean because he says things that lower your self esteem (and does he even realize it hurts your feelings? Are you COMMUNICATING with him?). Threaten him with a divorce lawyer without even trying to work out the issue? Geez. There isn't a person in the world who would say those things and TRULY not realize he's hurting the OP's feelings. He's not deaf, blind and mute. He deserves a bit of his own medicine and then he deserves a big fat stack of divorce papers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 Three pages in, and I get to be the first one to answer the OP's question! Yes, it's possible. I've never felt sexy in my life, but it hasn't been a problem for me. Also, this is another reason why I couldn't be in a relationship. I don't think you should ever be mean to be mean, but I've seen a lot of decent-looking guys with "gave up after the third kid" women, and I wouldn't be able to stop myself from being honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swampyankee Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 The question the OP asks in her topic title isn't necessarily what she's saying in her post. It sounds more like her complaint is with her husband, who is being sexually demeaning. Insulting someone about their intimate features is the worst kind of put-down, and together with his request that she gives him oral (not that oral is bad, but it can be used to demean someone) tells me he's being cruel and abusive in order to maintain a sick master-servant relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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