MissMeloD Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 Well I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years about a month ago today.. and after many arguments and him trying to win me back, he has finally realised its not going to happen. I broke up with him because he was kind of needy and well i fell out of love with him...sadly... But now that he has realised... he sent me an email basically saying that I will one day regret leaving him... and that there wont be another man who while ride on a flat bike accross the snow to see me (He did that once) and get me personalised cards and do this and that... well there's just this one thing he said to me at the end that really bugged me... 'The good ones go if you wait too long' The thought really scared me you know... I mean I'm only 18 and his the only boy i've ever been with so how can i know if his the one for me... and if i fell out of love after 3 years doesn't that already suggest his not the one... I just dont wanna grow old and bitter and never find anyone who loves me and cares about me... Am I just being silly? I probably am.. but i just wanted to know what you guys think about his quote... and whether or not I will regret it in the future... how do you know when you have found the one? Why would I leave him if he was meant to be the 'good one' for me...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camus154 Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 He's angry and hurt and trying to save face with his comment. Pay it no mind. You're 18....you have an unbelievable amount of time ahead of you. And personally I would forget any notion of "the one". There are more likely "many". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Habibi Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 there wont be another man who while ride on a flat bike accross the snow to see me very romantic and true indeed not every man would have done that for you. if he was needy you could have easily fixed it by discussing it and giving him a chance to fix it. but when attraction is gone.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissMeloD Posted June 6, 2012 Author Share Posted June 6, 2012 Thanks taken a weight of my chest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissMeloD Posted June 6, 2012 Author Share Posted June 6, 2012 but when attraction is gone.. indeed... he was very sweet i have loved knowing him... but i just felt like I wasnt in love with him as much as he was in love with me... I started to suffocated and fustrated. It even affect our sex life... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissMeloD Posted June 6, 2012 Author Share Posted June 6, 2012 I feel awful for breaking his heart, but i just felt that I need space.. i have been with him since i was 14 and well i just wanted to be me. I felt disconnected sexually and passionatly... I just saw in him a beautiful friendship... The way he acted did help either.. he was possesive... I told him about and he wanted to change i just felt like it was too late and why should he change its the way he is... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EQIQ Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 I think you did the best by breaking up with him. I have been in his place before, needy etc. Girl grew tired of it and we had a fight and that was it. If he puts in the work to understand where he went wrong he will find someone that will suit him better in the future and also become a better man. And this is good for you too. If you stayed in this relationship with him, the odds of him actually being able to come up and strong and breaking away from that needy/clingy mindset would be very unlikely. I have been there it is almost an obsession. From personal experience though, what hurt the most was my ego. Feeling like I was more than good enough for her, but she didn't value me. And this is what is behind his words. I will bet you $1000 that in his mind he hopes that someday you come begging to have him back. EVEN if he has no intention on taking you back. Even if he plans on saying no... it is an ego thing. Even for me now, with a gf, 2 years later. If the girl that dumped me came after me, I would feel a small sense of gratification inside... it's weird... It is very much diminished now from what it used to be though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumPI Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 you'll never find someone like him ... you'll find different people. After you try with several then you maybe will start appreciating more your ex (or not). That's what nobody knows but you are willing to risk. Never underestimate the footprint of an ex in your mind. Even more if he was treating you well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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