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My Summer Diet & Lifestyle Changes


meoww

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This spring and summer I think I have both the motivation to succeed in losing weight as well as the ability to finally proceed with a diet in a healthy way. In the past, I have usually resorted to some form of crash dieting that always ends up in me regaining the weight eventually. Over the years, I've stopped binge eating and hating my body, and it makes it so much easier to maintain my weight when I am not as stressed out.

 

I'm not overweight but I would like to be slim. I have a slightly broad back (or maybe it's my hunchback so I think I look more feminine when I'm thin.

My goal is to lose no more than 5-7 pounds per month. I used to be able to lose 10-15 pounds in a month, or even 10 days but I think I was overdoing it...

 

My starting weight is 124 lbs

My first goal weight is 120 lbs

2nd goal weight: 115

3rd goal weight: 110

 

I would probably like to weigh around 106 pounds since I'm only 5'2 but I think my body looks much better in the 110-115 range. Rather than focusing on the number on the scale, I'd like to look good in clothes, as well as naked. 124 lbs doesn't seem like much but for some reason in photos I look a bit bloated and chubby.

 

In addition to simply losing weight, I intend to make other lifestyle changes. I enjoy being active but I think I need more variety, rather than focusing on one type of exercise. I would also really, really like to make more of an effort to cook at home rather than eating out. I also abandoned my garden from last year, and even though it's a little late now, it would be nice to have something like that again. I don't want to get too carried away because while I have no problem starting projects and thinking up new ideas, I tend to burnout within a few months. I want to make lasting changes this time!

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I'm having a glass of grapefruit juice and some homemade chili with fresh veggies for breakfast haha smh

Not a typical breakfast but it's healthy enough

 

This week I want to lose 2 pounds!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I lost 2 pounds so far!

 

This makes my current weight 121. I feel like I'm at least out of the chubby zone.

although I did have to endure a few recent comments from my mom about how I have the ugliest back and how it doesn't match my smaller head/features at all...how sweet..

 

I'm trying not to let myself get too hungry or over do anything.

I've been eating a very balanced diet, and not depriving myself of any particular food group. I am not a huge fan of carbs since I think they have no taste, but I've found that they help keep me satiated.

 

I am really starting to exercise my will power when it comes to snack food. I used to get really uncomfortable when I was in the same room with a bunch tasty chocolate or something, but suddenly in the last few weeks, a lot of my anxiety has been evaporating. I think it's partly that my taste buds are adjusting and no longer feel overpowered by sugar. Sometimes even orange juice tastes too sweet.

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I'm getting in the 'zone' but I'm even slightly wary of that, because I don't want to get obsessed with dieting all over again. Truthfully, I feel prettiest when I'm a little chubby but I feel like guys like it better when I'm thinner. I don't get that, because being skin and bones is just not at all attractive to me.

 

I spent about a year not dieting in any way, and my highest weight during that time was probably 130 pounds. I ate absolutely whatever I wanted, and gained about 15 pounds from where I was originally at. I don't think my body is really capable of weighing any more than that, but it's really annoying to start dieting again.

 

The hardest part, for me, is being hungry at night. I've never been able to lose weight without going to bed at least slightly hungry. It seems like a lot of work just to lose 10-15 pounds.

 

I think it's nice to be thin when I want to wear trendy clothes, but I definitely think I look better naked when I weigh more. But I think one of the guys I'm seeing now would like to see me a bit thinner. It's like the only motivation I have to go through with this...sigh

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rearranged some stuff today, like my desk.

It looks a lot better, I have to say.

 

After this exhausting 2 year period of self improvement, I am seeing the meagerest (not a word apparently) of results.

 

Still not good enough though...

 

I'm not losing any weight but I am keeping it off. I am really not tempted by sweets anymore! What happened?

I definitely feel a lot better in body and spirit this way. I have so so much work to do though.

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I have started going jogging again and boy does my body love to run. I'm not fanatical about it or anything since I don't have much endurance but it really clears my head like nothing else. It can be difficult to work up the motivation to do it but I kind of see it as a need and not necessarily a choice at this point in my life.

 

I think I sleep better, eat better, and everything just generally seems so much better now that I'm getting back in shape. It's so mind blowing.

I live in the perfect place for running too, so many neighborhoods and cities to explore, and there are some serious hills and elevation changes. I am so excited to make this my little project.

 

I lost a pound. I usually lose weight really rapidly, like 5 pounds in a week when I am running. I am trying to avoid that though because I think that's considered yo yo dieting and can lead to sagging skin among other things.

 

I am also planning to wear a hat when I run, I wear sunscreen now but it gets in my eyes and it stings so much. Hopefully a big hat can cover up my face more so I don't have to slather it on so much.

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my shorts are loose. Which is nice

 

I also fit into a pair of size 2 denim shorts at h&M but I tried on another pair that were more true to size and I couldn't even zip them up.

My face is looking prettier and I am looking less like a linebacker or wrestler from the back.

 

i feel like I can wear t shirts again. Since it's getting quite warm, that is a relief.

 

I'm not sure how much weight I intend on losing. I am taking it very, very slow and so far I haven't noticed any adverse effects on my skin or body.

 

My head feels clearer, my skin is very noticably (spelling?) better. god I hope this is the fountain of youth or something since nothing else seems to work. I think I'm finally seeing improvement in my skin from the retinoids? maybe it's the fact that I'm less stressed out. Furthermore, I have no idea if my premature aging face is all in my head. In any case, I'm trying to do what I can. I wish I could take a picture of myself with one of those uv cameras to see if I really do have terrible uv damage.

 

My new thing is protecting myself from the sun/uva rays even on cloudy days. I see so many people whose faces don't match their bodies and I don't want to end up like that someday. I really think the cumulative damage from year round exposure has something to do with it.

 

It's shocking to me when I see photos of celebrities not much older than I am, or even the same age as me, and they look so incredibly old. I really hope I don't look like that now.

 

Anyway, I'm feeling better and better....finally feeling the way I wanted to so many years ago. Why does everything have to be so bittersweet. I'm always 5 steps behind. Now that I'm only like 2 or 3, it feels like it's too late. I'm like that rabbit in alice wonderland, I have no idea what I'm late for, but that sense of urgency and panic is propelling me somewhere.

 

I think the best thing to do is to stop thinking like that. It makes me paranoid, and it stops me from getting any enjoyment out of my day to day existence. I have fought off a lot of negativity and good things have come from that.

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  • 1 month later...

I am doing pretty well with my diet these days

 

I had a little relapse like 2 days ago when I received a bunch of chocolate from Italy as a gift but other than that I am not even feeling the urge to eat sugar.

I feel so much better and I think it is also helping with my anxiety

 

The only thing is that I'm just maintaining and I don't seem to be losing weight...but I really hate being hungry. This week I'd like to lose a bit more weight though. I'm hoping to knock off about 2 pounds.

 

In any case, I'm able to wear shorts/skirts, especially with heels, and feel confident, which is a totally different story from last year when I purposely 'let myself go' in order to overcome my disorder thoughts about eating.

 

By mid-August I'd like to weigh about 115!

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Here is a list of things I don't really eat or drink:

 

caffeine (but lately I'm trying to incorporate green tea into my diet)

soda

coffee

alcohol

bread (I do have pizza twice a month though, and sometimes I eat sandwiches but I just generally find it so boring on it's own)

butter

ice cream--finally broke my ice cream habit and it doesn't really taste that amazing to me anymore, I'd rather eat a frozen mango

pasta (again, such a pointless, untasty food I could never eat again and not miss. I do love me some pho noodles from time to time though)

instant food/noodles/frozen stuff--never been a big fan of this stuff either, except when I was like 4 watching pizza bagel bite commercials way back in the day.

grapes--sugar laden, and I think not as nutrient dense as some fruit

most traditional american breakfast foods

 

(all of these I was never a huge fan of to begin with tbh but I included them anyway and luckily I have always loved all veg in any form.)

 

 

I want to stop eating/drinking

 

fast food--I do like fast food sometimes, I started eating it about 2 years ago for the first time and I finally realized why it is so popular...yum but I think fried foods are terrible for you. I can't eat a large portion of it anyway so I don't think it'll be an issue for me

fruit juice--it's just kind of unnecessary with so much fresh fruit around

frozen yogurt--lately it's just been tasting like chemicals to me (the Pinkberry kind, not the vegan/artisanal kind of froyo)

 

fruit juice is my big one, it's expensive and loaded with sugar.

 

I need to eat more:

 

Fish

Broccoli--I'm just too lazy to prepare it lol

Red/Yellow veg

Kale? I guess I have never eaten much of it

kohlrabi, parsnips, radishes--that kind of thing. I'm really good at getting an assortment of leafy greens and love nightshades (even though I've read they are slightly toxic to humans/animals)

 

Suddenly, this summer I've discovered that I love melons of all kinds--this is like one of the most exciting things.

So now I like coconut, melons, pineapples (I used to hate pineapples), radishes, fennel root, bananas, chinese radish, maybe even corn

i still kind of hate persimmons but I want to give them another shot this year

 

 

 

It's almost August. I wear shorts and pretty clothes almost all the time now, which is such a change from last year. I feel so on top of my style right now!

 

Yesterday I wore these jute wedges with an rounded open toe, with a floral print, short overalls (the kind where the overall material goes like right under your chest--but the shorts were kind of like bermuda short length so it wasn't ****ty in my opinion), and a white tee. I actually looked decent for once in my life, it's like I had another style breakthrough and finally figured out how to shop without looking too much like a try hard or looking too cheap.

 

Anyway, the overalls were pretty tiny and my legs look a lot better in shorts than I did even 2 weeks ago.

 

I am eating more fruit, and sugar still continues to not have the effect it used to have on me. I think it took a while for my body to adjust to lower levels of sugar though.

I feel a lot more aware of my surroundings and less sluggish.

 

I've read about gluten free diets but I don't like the thought of having to cut out legumes or soy sauce.

Green tea makes me super jittery which is sad.

After going through the worst experience of my life/best healing process ever, I feel like I am finally tasting all the flavors that are naturally occurring in food, maybe even for the first time ever.

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  • 2 weeks later...

It's so hot and I have no appetite, but I feel worn out and hungry. I feel really successful in overcoming my sugar addiction though! I can't believe I actually did it. My brain really must have been getting warped from the sugar since now it just doesn't seem that enticing at all. It's just a flavor like any other.

 

I am eating less processed food but I want to eat even less of it. I just feel better, not incredibly so since I currently don't exercise lol. But I plan to start that too.

 

I am salting my food less and enjoying the real taste of food. The only problem is that I am having a hard time filling up on these kind of foods, either that or I end feeling super hungry only a few hours later.

 

I am incredibly grateful to be free of that obsession though. I don't know how it happened though, it's almost like one day I just woke up and didn't really enjoy sweets anymore.

 

I am really enjoying how I'm rediscovering the flavored of so many fruits and vegetables. Summer is awesome

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I have lost enough weight that the shorts I wore last summer, the ones that barely fit me, are loose enough around the waist that I can easily slip them off without unzipping them. My stomach is a lot thinner but it still kind of has this charming fullness about it . I really think it is because I didn't crash diet. I look so much better and my face isn't all gaunt and drawn the way it gets when I lose a lot of weight quickly.

 

Now that I'm used to being thinner I definitely want to continue losing weight. My body looks a lot better this way, since I'm not that curvy. My body is pretty straight up and down except for my bigger butt and my arms are a little proportionally larger than many people who are at my weight and height.

 

I had a slight sugar relapse but it was so unpleasant. I really don't like the way it makes me feel, I almost feel immediately sick but somehow compelled to keep eating it. Last year my blood sugar levels were well within a normal range which was a relief since I was worried I might become diabetic.

 

I think ill reach my goal weight in the next two months. I really wish I knew what I weighed but my scale at home is broken and I don't belong to a gym. Maybe there's an app for that...

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  • 4 months later...

I lost over 5 kg during summer and fall! I lost it so gradually that I didn't even have to eat less, all I really did was exercise more because of the remodeling. I did try to consciously lose weight though. At my current weight I definitely eat less than before.

 

So now I only have like 5 more to go

At 54 kg right now and I'm really not fat or that chubby anymore but I would like to be thinner for some reason. I think because I don't look that good in shorts because of my stubby calves

 

And most of all my weird back..I don't get why my back looks so manly when I don't even have big shoulders.

 

So, I think being 50 kg eventually would be good for me, except for the not having any boobs part. So glad my body proportions are like this....not. But my thighs are too big and I want to wear boots that are tight around the calf.

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  • 3 months later...

ugh was finally down to a normal weight this winter without crash dieting or even dieting at all really, but then I became very sedentary over the last 3 months. So frustrating. I want to keep my weight stable for good. I'm reopening this thread so that I can get my weight under control again. I'm 124 pounds right now.

 

I don't necessarily have a goal weight anymore. My body fat according my scale is 32%. lol is that even possible???

 

I don't even really like being skinny. I feel so asexual and tiny because of my build. But when I'm slightly overweight I look so square. I am probably being a little too hard on myself right now but I really wish I had a more beautiful body. It just doesn't look right to me no matter how much I weigh. I initially gained weight hoping that being curvy would help me look sexier but that didn't work out. I have also heard that it's impossible to spot reduce, so if this is the body type I'm born with then I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.

 

for example, I feel like my calves and feet are like the same length. This makes my legs look really weird.

 

I think I need to change up my routine and add an exercise I wouldn't have considered before. Dancing might help me feel more attractive....but I'm still brainstorming.

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I checked the thread and I'm back to where I started. I stopped dieting because I don't believe I have the willpower to reduce my calories permanently, but it appears I don't have the willpower to remain active either. Something has to change...

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hurray willpower, for the first time in my life, I really say can keep sweet stuff in my house without the desire to binge! I honestly thought that I'd remain a lifelong addict who would always crave sugar in the back of their mind, even if I didn't give into the urge.

 

What helped was first only keeping treats I wouldn't be tempted to eat but were nonetheless sugary in the house. Since I wasn't that into them, I wasn't really consumed by the desire to eat them all at once. I think that kind of helped me get in the habit of not reaching for a snack to deal with my emotions.

 

Even though I'm somewhat slim, I definitely turned to food for comfort. If something good happened, I would eat and if I had a bad day I would give myself a pass to eat a lot of unhealthy stuff. Unfortunately I have a lot of bad days...

 

I have ice cream in the fridge, milk chocolate on the counter, and some cookies.

 

I still think it might be a bad idea to keep too much tempting stuff around because it could easily spin out of control.

 

It doesn't taste quite the same though. I think part of the addiction is definitely psychological.

 

I just wanted one vice or something I could be totally free to indulge in. Unfortunately nothing really works that way, if you lose balance anywhere you suffer. Sigh sigh sigh

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I'm really glad I've never been much of a carbs person. If I never ate bread or pasta again I wouldn't even really notice. since the psychological aspect of my sugar cravings finally feel under control, I feel like my relationship to food is really getting to an optimal point.

 

I'm trying to eat foods that make me feel alive--living foods--like fresh ones only pretty much. Foods with a naturally high water content also.

 

But I like to eat a lot animal protein even though I'm not sure how good that is. But again, I'm more of a grill and baked fish/meats person. I love spices and lemon and herbs and stuff like that.

 

The main issue for me is budget and laziness. I really hate cooking and would much rather go out to eat. Handling food is kind of gross to me, especially cause I don't like my kitchen right now.

 

But yeah, I think I know what works for me and makes me feel good.

 

I have never eaten a lot of pre packaged or canned food. In the processed food dept my weakness is instant noodles and cheap cupcakes from target but those noodles are just so unbelievably salty.

 

The only thing is the scale. My pink jean shorts don't fit anymore why!! I don't want get on the scale to see I've gained weight. They shrunk a little but not that much. Ugh okay I have to get on the scale and just deal with it! I think I'll weigh myself once a week.

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So I didn't gain weight this week, just maintained. That is a relief and a reminder to myself that things are usually not as bad as I think they are, and that it's better to be aware of things, and keep things in check before they get out of control.

 

This week I want to lose about one pound. That seems like an attainable and easy goal. Putting me at 123 pounds.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well I reached that goal and then some!

 

I'm at 121 pounds.

 

I'm really surprised, I didn't do much to get there except cut down on snacking, eat less at night and eat more during meals.

 

I guess I have to set another goal post.

 

I don't really want to be skinny for the sake of being skinny though. The problem with dieting is that 10 pounds down the road I'm going to lose track of where to stop.

 

It's hard for me not to do anything in the extreme.

 

But I think I'm going to set a goal weight of 119 for the next 2 weeks and see how it goes.

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I've reached that tipping point where it is getting easier for me to continue dieting.

 

I just have this urge to starve myself though. It's kind of like when you are standing at the edge of the cliff thinking, "why not?" It's just instinct.

 

I really don't want to get into that binge starve cycle though. That's why I avoided dieting for 2 years. I like being able to really enjoy my food instead of being either grossed out or obsessed with it.

 

Soon I'll have time to work out!!

So excited

Then I can up my calories a little.

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AHH I'm so lazy about cooking!

 

Handling food is becoming a little less gross to me. but raw meat still freaks me out! I don't think I would survive in the wild very well. Although I guess it could be fun to kill something...for food. like if I was an animal, like a lion or something. But this human is still kind of freaked out by how similar humans and other animals are. So just can't really justify killing for food when I know if the circumstances were just a little bit different, it would be me ending up on the dinner table.

 

I am too scared to weigh myself! I wonder if I reached my goal of 119!! I'm getting a bit thinner so it could be possible.

 

but I swear I look like a wrinkly old person under my eyes...I don't know anyone else my age that has this issue so I really think sadly, that it stems from the time I got that 2nd degree sunburn under my eyes and around my nose. I may get laser therapy or something similar if this doesn't improve naturally.

 

In terms of food

 

I'm just eating what is convenient again, so I'm falling off the health wagon despite a successful couple of days. I ate all the veggies in the fridge and since then I haven't gone shopping so I've just been eating whatever is in the freezer or pantry! BAD! I feel like crap when I do it too, because it just isn't good for me I guess.

 

I really wanted to try a veggie fast type of deal

 

I just don't know if I have the motivation to do it!!! If I can get my lazy ass to the grocery store then I really will try to stock up on enough that I can feasibly attempt this.

Here's to that!

Maybe I could try a 3 day one.

 

The thing is, I know that if I don't eat enough, I'm just going to get too hungry and my body is going to feel all weird and out of control. It's not even a disordered eating/mindset thing anymore since I fixed that long ago. It's like I give my body what it wants, and I can tell it's like confused or something. It just wants to eat something with a lot of calories, that is within easy reach. Then my brain has to be like, "no body, we need to wait until I prepare some nutritious food," but my body is like, "feeeeed me NOW"

 

I need to be careful when breaking the fast, that there are options available that are not just empty calories and foods full of chemicals that will make me feel groggy and ill.

I don't think there is any burning need to do anything drastic anyway

 

but for me it just seems like a fun challenge rather than being too hard on myself or having unrealistic expectations.

 

It is much easier to handle dieting when I work my meals around the limits I know my body has.

 

So I have learned some stuff about myself like:

 

Dieting doesn't work long term for me if I reduce calories too quickly

I lose weight very quickly if I don't eat a lot at night or past 8ish

I need to eat a fair bit at each meal

Snacking is okay, but it doesn't really work for me personally because then I never get full and always stay hungry

I don't drink enough water because I hate wasting plastic bottles but I don't like tap water either

 

All of the 'naughty' foods are really not that great... except like Taco Bell...and cupcakes...and fresh backed chocolate chip cookies with walnuts, everything else I can pretty much take or leave.

even bubble tea (tastes kind of syrupy and intense after a while), milk chocolate (again too sweet). Obviously I used to have a major sweet tooth...because I'm such a sucker for advertising and there are so many different things to try!

 

but anyway, I don't try to cut out all of that stuff. Eventually I think I learned to just save those foods for special occasions where I can enjoy them without too much guilt or a lot of negative consequences like feeling sick.

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