socialbutter Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Hi everyone, I decided to write about something that only a few people in my life know about. This is an issue that affects my self-image and confidence, not significantly, but I am looking for advice and answers here. I am in early 20's and I've always had darker, stronger facial hair on the right side of my face such as on my chin and between my eyebrows. Since I was a baby I had this problem and my mom has taken me to various clinics and sought out solutions when I was younger; I have had dozens of laser treatments in my teens and tried hair-removal devices but none of them worked. I would pluck or shave the hair and it would look fine. When I entered college, my parents and I gave up to fully remove this, and I worked on hiding it with make-up or not exposing the area by having bangs and covering my right side with my long hair. I pluck them everyday and shave sometimes. I am very sensitive about the possibility of people noticing or bringing it up, so I often put on foundation and try to accentuate my eyes or lips. I look directly into the other people's eyes that I talk to, and I want them to look at my eyes; I start to feel insecure when they look below my eyes because I think they are looking at my chin. In broad daylight, it's easier to notice the 5 o'clock shadow so I think twice and prepare longer before going hiking or going to the beach. At the same time, it's not noticeable unless you look closer and I have no problem approaching and talking to other people. Obviously it is definitely not an obstacle to my daily activities or attracting men; I've been told that I have sparkles around me, that I am very positive, feminine, humble and beautiful. I am confident and try not to let this issue get in the way of getting to know others or letting them know that I am interested in them. (And it doesn't.) I mean, I'm a pretty easy going person! Nothing really stresses me out that much! This gets to me sometimes but I know there are much worse cases, and I should feel lucky that it doesn't affect my life in a major way. But it does affect my insecurity and ability to open up to someone, since it's a big personal issue. - But I want to know if anybody has this problem or know someone who does, and how they are dealing with it. What are some solutions that you recommend? - To women, what is a good way to conceal this shadow? And the most effective way to soothe the skin after plucking? - To men, how would you react if a girl, whom you were attracted physically and emotionally to, told you that she had this case? Is it a turn-off? Obviously I didn't tell this to anyone I have dated because 1) I kept it unnoticeable so it was never brought up, and 2) I never had a relationship intimate enough that I felt ready and safe to tell the guy. Personally I don't think it's a deal breaker because I think love surpasses the physical image and I can keep a guy happy and satisfied in general.. I am open to questions and insights... Have a good day, everyone! Link to comment
bulletproof Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Could it be something that needs to be addressed internally? Like a hormonal issue that can be treated with a drug such as birth control? I know you've said you've been to doctors, etc., but maybe it's just an issue of finding the right one. It sounds like you've really worked at not letting it influence how you feel about yourself, which is great. But I certainly understand how it can undermine your confidence a little. Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 body hair is a fact of life. sounds like you are taking care of it, I don't know any women with a shadow, but most women i know wax their upper lip. One of my friends (she's italian so hairier?) also waxes a thin strip of hair off her belly and claims she has one or two nipple hairs as well. she has no problem attracting men because she takes care of the situation. Though, I think there are some men out there who think that it is abnormal for women to have peach fuzz, maybe because they are used to seeing airbrushed models and hairless porn stars. reality is that everyone (including women) have small hairs all over our bodies, the color, texture and amount are dictated by genes and hormones. If you have been to doctors and your hormones are normal, then chalk it up to bad genes. I suggest waxing over plucking though. waxing will make the hairs lighter and weaker over time. Put natural oil on your face after to moisturize (coconut oil is good) or pure aloe vera gel. Link to comment
In the Dark Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 I knew an old female work colleague who had a 5 O'clock shadow. She is married. I guess it doesn't matter to some men. She was 24-25 at the3 time he was in his 40's I think. One of my ex's had a very slight mo. Her sister had a more visible mo. Link to comment
Realitynut Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 I have a tendency to look at peoples mouths, instead of their eyes, like I should. Maybe it's an insecure thing, but I look all over their face, not just focusing on their eyes. So if you had gross teeth, I'd probably be noticing THAT instead of fine hairs on your face. I had a girlfriend in highschool (my best friend) and my mom commented on her 'mustache'. I said 'huh?', I never noticed. She was gorgeous, and had the most beautiful eyes. Plucking and waxing in my opinion is the same...all pulled out by the roots...just tweezing is more time consuming. I know a much older woman who dry shaves her hair on her upper lip almost every day. But if you shave, the hair is then 'blunt' on the end, and feels more ' * * * * * ly' or stubble. Waxing would be the way to go. Sometimes foundation makes hair show up more, since it can cling to the facial hair. Plus, realize everyone does have that superfluous hair on their faces, but apparently this is something different for you to go to the dr. about it. Glad it hasn't damaged your self-esteem! Way to go! Don't worry about it. I think everything you are doing is GREAT! I have never shaved the hair on my thighs. Light and blonde. It's not the dark kind of hair that you are suppose to shave on your lower legs. One time when I was around 18 or so, a guy saw my *gasp* thigh hair while I was riding with him in his car. The sunlight was shining on it. He asked why I didn't shave it. I asked him why he didn't shave his arms. That was the end of THAT discussion! Link to comment
Realitynut Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 hahahaha, couldn't figure what was 'bleeped' out. I knew I hadn't typed a cuss word...then I remembered...lol....it begins with a P...I guess I should have said 'Pokey" instead! lol Link to comment
greywolf Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Did you try waxing? Some people bleach the hair so that it isn't as obvious. Personally, I wouldn't want such strong chemicals near my face all the time. Link to comment
Betteroffalone Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 If you get the really dark thick hairs then bleaching wont work, simply because you're not suppose to leave the bleach on long enough for it to work on thick hairs otherwise it will begin to burn your skin. Shaving the face is a bad idea for women, it wont solve the problem and may even make it more apparent. I would wax the hair, it's more affective and sure to remove EVERY hair from the root so no stubble left and you don't have to do it as often as shaving or plucking. Link to comment
RitaTrue Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 - But I want to know if anybody has this problem or know someone who does, and how they are dealing with it. What are some solutions that you recommend? - To women, what is a good way to conceal this shadow? And the most effective way to soothe the skin after plucking? Hi OP, I am in your shoes. I'm a very hairy girl. I've started noticing this when I hit my preteens, and its gotten more noticeable since then. Like you, I do everything I can to make it unnoticeable: shaving, plucking, and occassionally waxing. I'm addicted to using the razor on my face too, but that's not good. Hair removal creams are better (even though they can smell like ass). My solution: decide what YOU are comfortable with. Like you, I don't have a problem attracting men either (not that I'm a beauty queen or anything, I'm just saying ). But what I've learned from other hairy women, is to leave your arms they way they are naturally. It's a filter, so to speak. If the man hates body hair, he'll avoid you. But if he doesnt care, or is one of those guys who prefer the natural look on women---and yes, they do exist.--he will still approach you. My ex fell into the latter group. I loved it. I want to find another man like that. And if that's what you want, you can too. There's someone for everyone. I knew an old female work colleague who had a 5 O'clock shadow. She is married. I guess it doesn't matter to some men. She was 24-25 at the3 time he was in his 40's I think. Same. I know a woman who's a little older--in her fifties--who has a beard; she's also very married. And has been so for at least 20 years. Like I said, there's someone for everyone OP. Link to comment
hangingout Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Oh for goodness sake! You and 90% of Europe have this problem. Deal with it by bi-monthly waxing, monthly home bleaching and daily plucking. Don't focus on it. You're not the beardy weirdy woman from the East unless you do the above and make the effort to keep it under control. Every woman has something that would get out of control unless she dealt with it. Even supermodels. Link to comment
csula2004 Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 You should get tested for PCOS. This is how many women find out they have ovarian cysts, Link to comment
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