Secnd guessing myself !!

[gary1958]

Met a woman online almost 3 years ago. She came up from the east coast to my town 2000 miles away to grow her business. She was in partnership wih her ex brother in law. Very lucrative business. Over the course of the next 2 years he drove the business into the ground. So she ran back east to deal with the bankruptcy etc. During the course of returning east she came to figure out she had not dealt with the end of her 18 year marriage. In essence she came up to my town to run away from her past. So we have stayed in touch for the last 1 + years and tried to stay together long distance. There was talk of her moving back here and starting a new business and us moving in together. She sprang it on me at Xmas that she had decided to move to Halifax NS, about 3 hours from where she now lives to try and grow another business she has. She wants to try this for 6 months as here therapist believes this will be good for her to get her sense of self confidence back. She asked me to hang in for 6 months while she does this then we can make plans. Well on the weekend some more stuff happened. I said to her that I am not asking her to fly up tomorrow but would like her to commit to a plan 6 months down the road. I said its like you don't want to let me go but yet you cant commit either. She said there is probably some truth in that.

 

So I emailed her the next day and told her I was moving on. That almost 3 years of this dance was enough. That if you cant commit to me now what makes you think you will down the road. I am not going to wait around another 6 months to a year to see. Told her that I though we were going to conquer the world together. It is really sad. We were so good for each other. Now I am second guessing myself. That maybe I should have cut her some slack although I feel like I have. It has been all about her and her issues for the last year. I havent really even enterd the equation. But am still feeling guilty for ending it. Told her if she ever figures it all out to give me a shout

[DN]

It might have been better to say that you both should carry on with your lives, including seeing other people, and if after six months you are both available to see what happens between you then.

[gary1958]

We did agree to that at first But I just decided that I wanted a relationship with her not a friendship. S thought it better to just end it and if she ever figures it all out, feel free to call me and we wil see where we stand

[DN]

OK, well I suppose in a way that's the same thing.

 

I can understand why she feels a need to get her business life in order.

[Ms Darcy]

I MAY BE WRONG but I think you did the right thing. In your heart are you truly ready to look for a fulfilling long term relationship.

[gary1958]

Well it is coming up on 3 years and there has been issue after issue. Then I come to find in her coming up here she was actually running away from her life there. the break up of her marriage.. the financial issues... all of that.. she went back a year ago to face all of this.. Now she is on an Eat, Pray, Love journey. I get it but I dont think there is room for me. And to wait another 6 moths to a year and still maybe not get a commitment seems ridiculous

[DN]

I certainly don't think you should wait for her.

[gary1958]

Thats what I have decided... I dont want to be around watching us slowly drift apart. If it meant to be it will. But I have to live my life.. cant sit around and wait.