What do you make of this online guy

[blueplanet22]

So got chatting to a guy online, we spoke twice last week but no marathon texting which is how I like it. We arranged to meet this Saturday, so two weeks after we started chatting.

 

I sent a text last night to say Hi how are you, are we still ok for Saturday. He comes back with "as I had not heard from you in a while {5 days}, and had seen you have been on the site alot I assumed you were meeting someone else".

 

This says to me he was expecting me not to log on at all (as if we were already dating!!) and that he expected us to be in daily contact! And if he wasn't sure why didn't he contact me?

 

I mean * * * did he think that just because we'd agreed to meet that I would not log on?

 

Don't get some men (sure some women are the same) but with Online dating, until you have met the person they are not real and you are not dating, until its agreed that you are?

 

Or am I mistaken (which I don't think I am)

[charity]

this may be his first time doing the online thing, he is getting a bit carried away.

[DN]

Well, it does seem a little odd to ignore someone online when you have arranged a date. Or perhaps he just doesn't want to date someone who is dating or looking to date other people at the same time - it isn't unusual for people to think like that.

[blueplanet22]

Well, it does seem a little odd to ignore someone online when you have arranged a date. Or perhaps he just doesn't want to date someone who is dating or looking to date other people at the same time - it isn't unusual for people to think like that.

 

Which is fair enough, after you've met but we hadn't even met yet.

 

I didn't ignore him, I didn't even know he was online. Just bizarre. But as Charity says perhaps its new to him.

[DN]

Did you tell him you didn't see him online?

[LoveSoDeep]

I'd respond says "Oh I hadn't heard from you either which is why I asked if we're on for Saturday...and didn't you have to log on to see that I had logged on? " or something like that make it kind of a joke and see what he says. If he takes it well and jokes back then I'd give him a chance for one in person meeting before writing him off totally maybe he just came accross wrong b/c it was a text message.

[Batya33]

I think he met someone else and is looking for an excuse to cancel. When I did "on line dating" we made the plan to meet and typically spoke the day before or day of to confirm.

[blueidealist24]

This happened to me but not exactly..

 

I made plans with a guy and didn't talk to him on facebook chat for four days because I was afraid I'd say something silly or awkward to him that would make him break the date. The morning of the date he messaged me telling me he couldn't make it anymore since he couldn't borrow his Mom's car like he thought. But now I'm wondering if he realized I was avoiding him from the time we made the date until the actual day of the date.. although the reason I was avoiding him had nothing to do with me not liking him, just my own fear of saying something stupid making him not want to meet me any longer (since that happened with one other person).

 

I dunno, I always assume the plans are still on if the person has definitely agreed to them, no matter how many days it was before. One time another guy never got back to me about if 6 pm was good (even though I saw him online many times), so I assumed he was flaking out, but it turns out he DID go to the location at 6 pm and I accidentally stood him up. It seems like different people have totally different practices/views on scheduling these things.

[The_Seeker]

So got chatting to a guy online, we spoke twice last week but no marathon texting which is how I like it. We arranged to meet this Saturday, so two weeks after we started chatting.

 

How cute.

 

I sent a text last night to say Hi how are you, are we still ok for Saturday. He comes back with "as I had not heard from you in a while {5 days}, and had seen you have been on the site alot I assumed you were meeting someone else".

 

What did you say to him what he DISS you like that? Knowing me I would tell him you are not attached to your phone and since he haven't heard from me he could have always contact you.

 

This reminds me of an online guy I met through a dating site. He acted like a macho jerk trying to get an arouse out of me so maybe I could fall for him. He was very looking though but anyway. I told him I'm not interested anymore. Peace out.

 

I'm glad I did.

 

 

This says to me he was expecting me not to log on at all (as if we were already dating!!) and that he expected us to be in daily contact! And if he wasn't sure why didn't he contact me?

 

LOL Good question. I was thinking the same thing. Did you ask him that?

 

 

 

I mean * * * did he think that just because we'd agreed to meet that I would not log on?

 

Don't get some men (sure some women are the same) but with Online dating, until you have met the person they are not real and you are not dating, until its agreed that you are?

 

Or am I mistaken (which I don't think I am)

 

Some people circulate date meaning they date more than one person.

 

Some are traditional like myself. I date one guy for a certain period if I like him and want to get to know him more. If a relationship happens, great. If it doesn't, on to the next.

 

Hence you need to communicate and be honest with yourself.

[lila...]

I think he met someone else and is looking for an excuse to cancel. When I did "on line dating" we made the plan to meet and typically spoke the day before or day of to confirm.

 

I agree with this. Either that or he's extremely insecure. Had he been interested in meeting up, he would've kept the communication going and not have left it all up to you.