jay1234 Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 Hi everybody! Have been reading through this forum and searching all over the internet for help and advice, but I cannot find anything simular to my situation! Basically me and my ex girlfriend had been together for 3 years strong since we were both 15. She was my first true love, and were both pure to eachother if you know what I mean. This girl means the world to me, and not only did I love her she was my bestfriend, and we shared and did everything together. Im going to keep this short, but bascially this bloke whos 43 moved into her village last septemeber (mr. flash). He built his own house ect. Where my girlfriend works in the local pub, he goes down there every night as hes friendly with the owners. He got talking to my girlfriend, and i knew his intetnions straight away. I found texts on her phone back in October where he was calling her "hunnie" and leaving her about 5 "x's" on the end of each text. I said to her that I'm not comftable with the way in which hes speaking to her, and she understood and explained how sorry she was. I wanted to go down to his house and tell his to back off, but i didnt because i respected her and i wanted to to have friends ( we both sacrificed all our friends for eachother ). So i wanted her to socialise a bit more really. So i let this go anyway, as she said she would stop seeing him and speaking to him. But obviously he lives in the same village as her, about 30 seconds walking distance and goes down to the pub every night where she works every night, so even if she wanted to get away from him she couldn't really. My ex's dad left the house about a year ago after leaving for another women, and my ex's mum suffers from MS. So she has to look after her mum quite alot, and I was always there to support the both of them (ex and her mum). This guy managed to weave him self into their house, offering to do jobs for her mum to give a good impression. Till this day I have never met this guy, but i have drove past him so i know what he looks like. But never once did he ask to meet me. Anyway, my ex's mum ended up inviting this guy over for christmas dinner, because he had given her the sob story saying: " my wifes left me, and i have no one anymore". And it worked. In the end i said to my ex, you either tell this guy to f off, or I'm leaving. She met up with him late decemeber, and apparntly told him that they can't see eachother anymore, thats what she told me. And this guy said that he knew this was coming. ( but i honestly think this guy then told my ex how he feels about her, and god knows what else ). Anyway, 5 weeks ago i got a phone call saying that were over. She didn't say that it was becuase of this guy, she just said things wern't the same anymore. I tried to explain and talk to her but she didn't listen. She said that we would just fall back into the same pattern of not caring about eachother if we got back together. But our relationship only started to go downhill in the last month before the breakup because she wasnt acting the same around me. To be honest i was so paranoid about this 43 year bloke becuase i knew what he was doing all along. He's a snake, and he wrigled himself between me and my ex and managed to break us up. He achieved this through experience and taking advantage of a vunrable, young girl. I freaked out completed when she broke up with me, but it didnt occur to me that it was because of this guy till about 2 weeks after we broke up. For the first 2 weeks i was blaming my self, and convinced my self that i had done something wrong. 4 weeks after the breakup i turned up at her house to find out the truth, and i had to do this to able me to move on myself. She told me she had feelings for him in the end. And to be honest i knew this, i just had to hear it from her. The thing is this whole situation is completely wrong. If the guy was my age (1 i would be able to understand this alot better, but its because hes 43. He's taken complete advantage of her, and i know hes swept her off her feet by buying her gifts ect. And due to experience, hes know exactly what to do to achieve this, and he's won. I've tried talking to her to to warm her, and i know her family has but she wont listen to anyone. Her mum cant do much becuase shes not physically able to. He's completely brainwased her, and has managed to break up something that was so special between me and my ex. i know it takes two to tango, but i know hes pushed her into this decision by using techniques which hes learnt from experience. This guys the same age as her dad FFS!!! So obviously she must of had feelings for this bloke before we broke up, and went straight into a relationship with him when we broke up. So im guessing its a 'Rebound relationship'? I can not explain how angry i am about this whole situation. I was going to go to this guys house and smash him up, but ive held back as i know it will just make things worse. And if her dad was still around he would have gone over to this guys house and told him to f off months ago! I just cant believe I've let this happen under my nose, and i feel like a fool. I reacted bad to this whole situation and text her telling her whats happeneing and how i feel about it. (I know if anyone else was my position they would have done exactly the same) She text me a few days ago saying that she feels awful, and she sorry and we can still be friends. But i havnt text her back and i think its a good idea to stick with N/C till she contacts me again? I really dont know. I wrote my ex a letter a week after the break up, not asking for her back but telling her how i feel, and just some good memories we've had in the past. I'm just pleased i didnt drop flowers off at her house everyday to try and win her back and all that other stuff. Right now I'm just playing it cool and working on myself. Having space from her has allowed me to think about the past. We both stayed humble to eacher other the whole relationship, and i always went out to night clubs, and never once did i ever cheat or kiss another girl. I knew she was the one, and o respected her. It's just she not the type of girl to do something like this, and works full time in the same village where she lives, and doesnt have any friends except me and people who work down her pub. She very intelegent and quite, and shes the one girl i thought was different to everyother. I guess not! What do you guys advise me to do??? I know she will have to learn the hard way now as shes not listerning to anybody. Thanks for your time. If you need anymore info in order for you to give me better advice, just ask! Link to comment
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