how long will it take?

[guitargeek108]

ex- bf broke up with me oct 16 after being together every day for 5 months. he was my first love and the one i lost my virginity too.

 

I've been trying to get out there are date but all the guys i go out with just don't have the chemistry or spark and i end up just missing my ex more. ( he already went back to his ex gf three weeks after we broke up)

 

how long until this goes away? anything i can do to make it stop?

[TessaB]

Time time and more time. Focus on yourself, don't dwell on him or them, don't look at pictures or seek information.

 

Do things you want to do. Do something you haven't done in 5 months. Don't date if you aren't ready, but do seek out your support system and be with them. Stay active, exercise, eat healthy, get sleep. Do you!

 

Easier said than done, I know. But you can do it! Be strong!

[Yeul]

You can't compare potential partners with your ex, and until you can stop doing that so... boldly, you probably aren't ready to date.

 

There isn't any set time for these things to heal. Not to mention, first loves and first intimate relationships are very hard to move past. However, it seems like you know more than enough about what your ex is up to. Going NC -- and true NC, that means no facebook stalking, no e-mailing, no pictures, no anything -- is going to help immensely.

 

Lean on your friends, lean on us, and let yourself move past it.

[MarnDark]

There's no expiry date on these types of things.

 

I'm 6 months out of a 16 months relationship (2 weeks until a new guy for her) and I still think about her constantly. I've become interested in other girls recently but, like you, I still compare them to my ex so maybe I'm just not ready yet for that. And first loves and such are definitely hard to get over. One thing you can take comfort in is that someday someone WILL make you as happy as you desire. It's cliche that people say that but it's true. You sound young, as am I, and I firmly believe in this.

 

The least you can do is have faith in yourself and the notion that someday you will be past this.

[guitargeek108]

but how do you know you're ready to date? i was mostly dating to prove that I'm not hung up on him cus he's obviously not over me and to keep my mind off him.

[Yeul]

I'm in the trenches, so I don't know the right answer as far as when you're ready to date. However, look at what you wrote. You are dating to prove a point to HIM, because HE's not over you, and to keep your mind off of HIM.

 

You're dating because you want to be dating him, but can't. You're not dating because you think you deserve a happy relationship with someone who loves you. When HE isn't a factor in your mind at all, when he isn't apart of your dating equation whatsoever, i would guess is when you're ready to date.

[guitargeek108]

It's had though because EVERYTHING reminds me of him and i can't help but feel like i was nothing to him since he went back to his ex