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Trying to find my way...


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I'm a 22 year old female trying to find my way in life. I'm pretty insecure and I guess you can say not very emotionally mature.


How can I grow out of this and enjoy doing more things by myself? I just got out of a 4 year relationship and I'm trying to find things (not just another guy) to fill the void with.


So far, I have thought about immersing myself into my studies, absorb everything I can at my internship with the Police Station and then get a career based job in my field (criminal justice) come summer.


I feel like in my spare time, I should also get back into reading/writing. I'm writing 3 novels but haven't finished any of them, I've been writing them since I was 16. I love doing karaoke, but a lot of it is in a bar like setting and I have been doing it sometimes twice a week lately. I think I need a break from that kind of scene.


Any ideas on what else I can do to keep myself occupied? I have also started running 6 miles a week; I run 2 miles a time and alternate between 6.5-8 mph and do 150 exercises with weights for arms, 200 sit ups, 200 squats with weights a week.

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Money is a limiting factor so keep that in mind with suggestions. But yeah, Hiking is something that could be done; I live on a lake and have trails around me. It's been beautiful out here, I should hike around and write poems and enjoy my own company (really trying to work on that)


I really want to get back into some instruments but that also requires money. I have a Fender Stratocaster but I would need lessons to play it again. I remember how to play the piano and could get a full length key board and just look up songs online because I can do that with the piano, but that would require money to buy it.


My friend is thinking of selling me her Cello in the summer for $200 and she would give me as many lessons as I want which would save me A LOT considering most lessons are around $120 monthly. I miss playing the cello and an instrument in general! I was so happy when I had something to play, now I just sing a lot but it's not the same thing as playing.


What are some other things? My schedule right now is:


Mon-Fri work 3pm-6pm.


My internship Mon/Weds from 9am-1:30pm


School: Tues/Thurs 12:30-1:50


Plus online class. And study time.

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By the way, I play the cello too!! Awesome for you to be getting back into it!!




Now.. getting straight to business here.. Have you thought about just doing nothing? Perhaps starting with meditation and finding out for yourself what makes you ...... "HAPPY." ??


What I mean by that though isn't listing out what you've already said in your first post. Mostly because, as I read everything you seem to enjoy (the key term being "seem"), you quickly follow each suggestion up with "But, thinking, trying, want, should." But have yet to take any actual action towards doing anything.


Yes, you've thus far went to karaoke; but, something that would otherwise seem like fun and a great spare-time activity, you also quickly turned away with "I think I need a break from that kind of scene."


Rather than an event, activity, or hobby, or passion; why not try focusing on the intellectual side of getting past the breakup and honestly spending time thinking to yourself. Motivating yourself again to do. Finding out ways to change the root of your current situation: Your thinking.


Why not start out by simply remembering happy moments in your life before your ex. During your ex. What you would like to do now that you're single that you couldn't with your ex, or just because the timing is now seemingly right. We can spend all day listing out things $0-$1,000 that you could do. But it doesn't seem to be that the activity itself is a concern; rather, your initial mentality in getting yourself motivated enough to even DO something.


Step 1 - Just do. Figure out what triggered your happiness when you're going through your memories, and find out how to gain that happiness again. Enough to where you change your "I should write." to "I'm writing."

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Yeah you have a point there. I'm young, I'm 22 and the last time I was single was part of the time when I was 17 so I guess I need to think back on what I did back then lol. When I turned 18, I started dating a guy for about 4 months; he broke up with me and I think I was single for maybe 2-3 months until I met the guy I was with for 4 years. Pretty much just writing, playing music, singing. I was too young to do karaoke at a bar and while I like it, going every week to the same bar scene and the drinking; I just need a break, I'm not much of a drinker any how.

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