My experience in trying to get my ex back...

[Cowboy1015]

You might have read my posts about my quest in trying to get my ex back. I failed.

 

I am writing this now because I know in few weeks, I wouldn't even want to waste my time writing about this. So while the disappointment still lingers, let me share to all of you my experience.

 

My ex broke up with me 5 months ago. She gave me some sort of hope that we might get back together so I just went on limited contact. It was good. We talked once a week. She shared her life events just like how it was when we were together. We had few dinners and been to sporting events with her son.

 

During limited contacts, there were several times she cancelled last minute on dates. I kept cool about it until few weeks ago. I don't mind that she cancel a date, but not last minute. I felt disrespected. It's ok if it happened once, but it happened many times.

 

So the last time I met her few weeks ago over dinner, where she almost cancelled last minute again, I just told her I still feel the same. She rejected me and told me that I am not right for her.

 

After that, I thought that was it for me. I did not call her for 2 weeks. She texted me Happy Valentines but I did not reply. But, I still called her just few days ago. We talked for few minutes and told me she'll call me back. She did not.

 

And then BOOM!

 

What the hell am I doing!???

 

I am wasting energy on a woman who doesn't want me. I've been analysing, thinking, waiting for days/weeks for my next move.

 

I realized, I've done enough to try to get her back. And it's just not meant to be. If she still cares for me, she would be with me right now. But she's not. Looking back, I didn't do anything bad to her. She just fell out of love.

 

Why did I even try to get her back. I love her and it's hard to let go. Despite of all the red flags, I did everything for her. I am a very picky guy and I didn't want to go through again finding the girl that I want. So I tried my best to get her back.

 

Now for you who's still trying to get back with your ex, you just got to do what you got to do. You'll read suggestions here, do this and do that. But at the end of the day, you will still do what you want to do. You will do the things that reflects you. And that's good. Because that's who you are.

 

I think the problem here that most people doesn't realize is that you waste MORE ENERGY analyzing and thinking of what you should do. Just be who you are. If you think too much about calling your ex, you are wasting energy. So just call your ex! It's ok. Just deal with whatever you will feel afterwards. And you will realize sooner what is meant to be.

 

Goodluck to those who are trying to get their ex back.

 

There is always someone better if it's not your ex.

[Nickles]

I like your post. You're not trying to put a dampner on people who want to get their exes back but you're telling us to be careful. Mind yourself and I hope you'll be happy.

[Cowboy1015]

I like your post. You're not trying to put a dampner on people who want to get their exes back but you're telling us to be careful. Mind yourself and I hope you'll be happy.

Thank you. I am much better now knowing that I am moving on with a peace of mind.

[The Mouse]

i feel similar to you but with diffrent situations. i agree all the thinking,second guessing, looking on here for hope its a waste of energy when its someone whos not interested in you. Im getting to a good stage now since been in NC for a couple of months where ive actually nothing to say or any interest in hearing anything she has to tell me so NC is coasting along now, i hope you find it getting easier on you each week.

And you know what the say....once uve moved on guess who'll come knocking

[dumPI]

Well I think sometimes you have to realize that doing what you USUALLY do is not the solution.

I mean after a few BU you understand the patterns, you learn not to beg, call, plead, whatever, you don't need to wonder if there is someone else (which is true in 90% of situations), and so on ... you just learn to disappear. Does it mean I'm not being who I am? For me it means I became a better me. I learned that I can leave, struggle in silence and cope. So that's the new me.

[Cowboy1015]

Well I think sometimes you have to realize that doing what you USUALLY do is not the solution.

I mean after a few BU you understand the patterns, you learn not to beg, call, plead, whatever, you don't need to wonder if there is someone else (which is true in 90% of situations), and so on ... you just learn to disappear. Does it mean I'm not being who I am? For me it means I became a better me. I learned that I can leave, struggle in silence and cope. So that's the new me.

 

Whatever you do reflects who you are.

And who you are is a person who learn from experience.

[TangySour]

Whatever you do reflects who you are.

And who you are is a person who learn from experience.

 

I completely agree with this. I admit I am going out completely on my own here trying to get my ex back.

After much discussion, ThorsHammer has given me a lot of faith in me doing what I feel I must do.

I reflected a lot and know exactly what changed and what happened in the relationship.

Now I just have to get the point accross to her that I am aware of everything, and then ask for a second chance to make things right.

In the end whether I succeed or not, I gave it my all That's all anyone asks no? To give it your best with no regrets!