2nd Date Ideas... Flowers or no?

[Fantanos]

I met this girl a few weeks ago, we started texting back and forth. We did this for about two weeks and learned a lot about each other, what we like and she seemed very interested. Finally I asked her out for some drinks and we went one night, it was too late for dinner so we hit up a few bars and had a great time. We talked a lot and both showed interest with the casual touches. I walked her to her door and kissed her goodnight. She told me she had a great time and would like to do it again, I said the same.

 

This was last week, we have been texting everyday after that with both of us making the first text move. We are going out again this weekend for dinner.

 

My question is, are flowers too much for a 2nd date? I think they are and don't really know what else to do. I always pay for everything, I will pick her up by coming to her door, I am a gentlemen. I really like her so far but I am afraid that is a little too much for a second date? Its not that I don't want too but I don't want to come on too strong. Thoughts?

[mhowe]

Yes -- too much.

 

Pick her up at her door, open doors, pay for the day. All awesome.

 

Flowers at the door --- noooooo. This is not a romantic comedy, this is your life!!!!

[snoopie]

I received flowers on a 2nd date once, looking back it was sweet but didn't hold any weight because it came out of know where. If it were a special occasion, (valentines, birthday, first night together etc, I think it'd be fine but until then it's pretty unnecessary. The smaller gestures you've mentioned sound perfect though.

[Fantanos]

That is what I was thinking too, I just wanted another opinion. Thanks!

 

I do all the small things like opening doors including the car door, paying for the date, picking her up, walking her to the door.

 

Thanks again,

[mhowe]

That is what I was thinking too, I just wanted another opinion. Thanks!

 

I do all the small things like opening doors including the car door, paying for the date, picking her up, walking her to the door.

 

Thanks again,

 

Those are not small things in this day and age! Good for you --- best of luck.

[Generation]

I remember this one girl (a friend of mine) got SOOOO pissed off at me when her date (that I set her up with, he's super handsome) didn't pick her at the door when he went to pick her up, he just waited in his car, didn't open doors for her, though I'm pretty sure he paid for the meal, not sure about walking her to the door. So yeah I guess they're not small things. PS I think she's nuts, I'm defensive cause I thought he was a great (looking) guy!

[mhowe]

I have to say, I don't mind about the opening the car door or restaraunt door ---- but I will not be "peeped for" while he sits in the car.

 

However, that is not a deal breaker --- it is learned behavior and men can certainly adapt if they want.

[laura40]

I think it's too much. It's a nice thing to do, but too much for a second date.

 

Just to add - I wouldn't be put off by it, but I know a few friends who would be.

[lila...]

Just to be safe, don't. Personally, I'm a romantic and I would actually like it. But not a lot of girls are like me. Save that for a later, more intimate date. That's sweet of you though. We need more gentlemen like you.

[Koglin]

Don't over do it. You seem like you're looking for ways to please her when in reality you just going out with her is as exciting to her as it is to you, if you be a gentlemen and pay that's definitely a bonus but don't get into the habit of paying for everything all the time. Flowers are too much for a second date - i personally wouldn't do that or for the third or fourth date for that matter. If you want to surprise her with flowers do so when the two of you have been exclusively dating for a few weeks and don't associate this gesture with a date but do it out of the blue. Good luck to you.

[Fantanos]

Thanks ladies for the replies... it makes me feel good

 

I have always done those things, some girls get freaked out about it because guys have never done that before... I can't believe that. I think every guy should be doing this? Its how we are suppose to act and its a shame many don't do this.

 

I agree on the flowers being too much, that is why I asked... just wanted a confirmation. If I were a girl I would feel it was awful nice but also feel its too strong for a second date.

[lila...]

Lol. We definitely don't see that a lot now a days. When it does happen, I think it's very sweet. Some things should never go out of style. Unfortunately, boys these days aren't raised to be perfect gentlemen!

[midnightdeirdre]

OP, I think giving flowers on a date is great gesture! Very old fashioned & romantic. Do as you please. :strawberry:

[Fantanos]

OP, I think giving flowers on a date is great gesture! Very old fashioned & romantic. Do as you please.

 

Now you're making it tough for me lol.

[mhowe]

Oh cripe --- he was all set. On a date, at some point --- fine.

 

Not the 2nd date.

 

Don't!!!!

[Fantanos]

Oh cripe --- he was all set. On a date, at some point --- fine.

 

Not the 2nd date.

 

Don't!!!!

 

haha... I think I will skip it for now and save it for later down the road. I will concentrate on being a gentlemen for this date.

[Pinnacle]

Do it. So many people try to act all tough and "alpha"...sending flowers would be a nice change of pace. And you know...variety is the spice of life.

[epsilon2x]

Don't do it. Save flowers for a day you're in trouble.

[Alittlepanda]

Flowers would be too much, if your going to do anything involving flowers, i would go for just giving her the one flower.

[mhowe]

Do it. So many people try to act all tough and "alpha"...sending flowers would be a nice change of pace. And you know...variety is the spice of life.

 

A nice change of pace? There is no pace. They haven't had their 2nd date yet!!!!!

[Capricorn3]

NO. Too much, too soon.

[Fantanos]

I want to thank everyone for the replies. I didn't do the flowers for the 2nd date and it went well.

 

For anyone still following this, we went on a 2nd date, then a 3rd date, 4th date and Saturday was the 5th time we hung out and we went out with a group of my friends. She also met my parents Saturday for the first time, they were having a get together at a local pub so we stopped by.

 

I really like this girl... a lot and I think she feels that way too. We are both the same age and mature so there isn't really any games. But we are taking it slow which I am 100% fine it. I think she is afraid of getting hurt because of past relationships and she knows that my last relationship ended 3 months ago. We are taking our time and haven't done anything but some kissing... again I am good with this and actually like it this way. She gets along really well with my friends girlfriend and she told my friends girlfriend that she wants me to chase her lol. She said in the past she has always had to chase her past boyfriends and it was a nice change to feel wanted. So I guess this means I am doing all the work? lol .. I am fine with this as long as she shows the interest with it.

 

So given how much we have hung out would flowers be appropriate yet? I was thinking just a small bouquet, nothing crazy, just a few. Just something I was thinking about?

 

Also I would like to hang out with her during the week, last week went to a movie during the week. Do you think it is too soon to stay in and watch a movie? I have nothing against going out during the week but she works a lot during the week and it takes her a long time to get ready so I thought maybe she would just enjoy staying in. She should know me well enough now to know I am not trying to get her on a couch for sex fun.

 

Any thoughts would help? Thanks

[lila...]

First of all, congrats! Looks like things are going well for you Secondly, no, I don't think it's too soon at all to stay in and watch a movie. First and second date- maybe. But beyond that, I think it's totally fine. And yes...flowers would be appropriate now lol. She's one lucky girl.

[Fantanos]

First of all, congrats! Looks like things are going well for you Secondly, no, I don't think it's too soon at all to stay in and watch a movie. First and second date- maybe. But beyond that, I think it's totally fine. And yes...flowers would be appropriate now lol. She's one lucky girl.

 

Thanks for the reply. We set up a date for tomorrow night, I asked her if she wanted to stay in and watch a movie or go for ice cream... she said ice cream sounded good.

 

I feel like we are in the game stages a little bit now. like I mentioned above she told my friends girl friend that she wants me to chase her... I assume this means pursue her, right? Also a guy I work with knows a co-worker she works with... this co-worker told the guy I work with that she likes to be chased (I think she is the talk at her place of work because she is very pretty and they can't figure out why she is single). So I have heard this twice already and this is in my head now. So last night we were chatting online and she was being a little short and not real talkative... so I got a little frustrated and went away for a bit, a 1/2 hour later she sent a message asking a question for chit chat. I replied but not like my normal self, a little short too. So finally I figured I am not playing games and asked her if she had plans for tonight... she said she had no plans so I asked her if she wanted to get together and she said ice cream would be good.

 

So is this just part of it, her making me pursue her? If so I don't mind, I can do that... but it makes me a bit nervous and that then makes it hard for me to be myself, I guess it puts me on edge.

 

Our history is 5 times hanging out so far and we text everyday. Every time we have hung out it has lead to a goodnight kiss or a few, she usually always goes for the kiss first and tells me she had a good time. She has never turned down a date with me or not replied to a message. Saturday we kissed a bit while dancing, held arms when walking. She met my family Saturday at a little get together they were having. I told her there was no pressure to meet my parents and if she didn't come I would completely understand. It didn't seem to phase her at all and she said she would like to come. She even played darts with my little sister and colored with her a bit. She tells my friends girl friend she likes me but keeps asking about my ex... which I have never mentioned my ex to her at all. She also mentioned me meeting her sisters who are coming to town this weekend.

 

So is it just part of the dating game and the chase, is she testing me a little to see if I am for real? The short replies last night bothered me a bit, she did it a little the night before too. Maybe relationship nerves kicking in? Maybe getting scared... I am know I am scared because I am starting to really like her...

 

I am worrying to much, getting nervous because I like her?

[mhowe]

You are doing great. But be you --- don't be the "you" she wants you to be.

 

"Wants to be chased" --- small flag. She wants you to do all the work. Okay, to a point. However, you are dating a person, not a princess. You want honest, open communication.

 

And be sure that "being pursued" doesn't equate to spending a lot of $$ on her. Dinners in are fine -- dates that are movies, etc. are fine. You have no need to impress. Rule of thumb -- be yourself.