robyncat Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Hey everyone I have a pretty simple question. A few weeks ago, I met a guy. A few days later, he asked me out on a date. So we went for dinner - great conversation, lots of laughing, all that good stuff. 3 days later, I went out of town for a week and a bit (which he knew about), and now I've been back in town for 3 days. When we parted after the date, he said something along the lines of "so, should we keep in contact?" Of course I said yes, and he said "okay, well I'll shoot you a text some time". Should I just be waiting for him to text me? Or should I wait for him? It was bad timing with me going out of town so soon after the date, but I don't want him to think my silence now that I'm back is disinterest. Conversely, I've just recently started dating again after taking a while off after a bad breakup, and this is the first guy I've wanted to see again (and I really want to see him again!) I'm starting to worry someone else will catch his attention in the meantime. So... what would you do? Thanks! Link to comment
DN Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 You're the one who left town - time to let him know you are back. Link to comment
memento Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 "so, should we keep in contact?" That's a very insecure way to end a date. Link to comment
robyncat Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 That's a very insecure way to end a date. Insecure on his part? His body language indicated to me that he was trying to gauge my reaction; I assumed he was trying to figure out if I was interested in him. Either that, or it was just a polite way of him showing his disinterest. Any insight would be appreciated - I'm so out of practice with all this! Link to comment
MikNomis Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I think the decision of who should text first is so unimportant that you should not even think about it and just text him if you feel like it. Link to comment
Papillion Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I think the decision of who should text first is so unimportant that you should not even think about it and just text him if you feel like it. yep. what he said ^^^^ Link to comment
laura40 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Seeing as he hasn't text and you're interested still, then you should text him. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 You can text him but I think his interest is fairly lukewarm otherwise he would have been far more specific about wanting to see you again even if it was just "let's see each other when you get back - I'll call you on x day and we'll make plans" or "when will you be back? let's make a plan for then". Link to comment
Fantanos Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 The guy should text you or call you first, I would. However some guys aren't like that and maybe he got a vibe you weren't interested. I would send him a message, maybe just a how are you doing or mention something funny you talked about on your date... that always works. You will know by his reply if he is interested. Good luck! PS- As a guy, sometimes it is nice to be pursued and not always pursuing. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I don't think the OP sending a text is pursuing and I don't think he is too interested in pursuing her based on his behavior. It can't hurt to send a text informing him that she is back in town. Link to comment
DN Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I don't think anyone can judge whether his interest is lukewarm or not based on this information - shy guys are hesitant and it could just as easily be that. Don't jump to conclusions. Link to comment
eternalsunrise Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 "I'll text you sometime." ?? That doesn't seem very interested, but who really knows. It's okay if you reach out to him first since you got back in town. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 He doesn't sound shy to me - he asked her out right away and I think his question at the end of the date reflected his own ambivalence plus perhaps his ego needed some stroking. I don't think contacting him will hurt though. Link to comment
DN Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 Well, some people look for the negative in others, some think it's reasonable not to prejudge on such slender evidence. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 Well, some people look for the negative in others, some think it's reasonable not to prejudge on such slender evidence. I'm looking at it positively -my negative response would be don't bother texting, he's not interested. So my positive response is to reach out, what's the harm. From my dating experience direct and indirect what she describes is far from slender and all too typical where the guy's interest is lukewarm. If there's an exception here she'll know if she texts him. Link to comment
Lucy3 Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 definitely text him saying you are back in town and ask how hes been, then casually ask him if he fancies meeting up again. its the 21st century, a lot of guys believe that if a girl doesnt text then she isnt interested. I wish it was still the old way but it isnt always like that with some guys. If you had a good first date and agreed to keep in touch then it would be a shame to let things slide just because you both didnt initiate the next step after the first date. and you have nothing to lose! Link to comment
Stay_home Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 This is going to take some effort on your part besides just waiting around for him to make a move. It's like seeing who's going to throw the first blow, just throw your punch and get into the fight. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.