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Getting in contact after the first date


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Hey everyone


I have a pretty simple question. A few weeks ago, I met a guy. A few days later, he asked me out on a date. So we went for dinner - great conversation, lots of laughing, all that good stuff. 3 days later, I went out of town for a week and a bit (which he knew about), and now I've been back in town for 3 days. When we parted after the date, he said something along the lines of "so, should we keep in contact?" Of course I said yes, and he said "okay, well I'll shoot you a text some time".


Should I just be waiting for him to text me? Or should I wait for him? It was bad timing with me going out of town so soon after the date, but I don't want him to think my silence now that I'm back is disinterest. Conversely, I've just recently started dating again after taking a while off after a bad breakup, and this is the first guy I've wanted to see again (and I really want to see him again!) I'm starting to worry someone else will catch his attention in the meantime.


So... what would you do? Thanks!

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That's a very insecure way to end a date.

Insecure on his part? His body language indicated to me that he was trying to gauge my reaction; I assumed he was trying to figure out if I was interested in him. Either that, or it was just a polite way of him showing his disinterest. Any insight would be appreciated - I'm so out of practice with all this!

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You can text him but I think his interest is fairly lukewarm otherwise he would have been far more specific about wanting to see you again even if it was just "let's see each other when you get back - I'll call you on x day and we'll make plans" or "when will you be back? let's make a plan for then".

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The guy should text you or call you first, I would. However some guys aren't like that and maybe he got a vibe you weren't interested.


I would send him a message, maybe just a how are you doing or mention something funny you talked about on your date... that always works. You will know by his reply if he is interested. Good luck!


PS- As a guy, sometimes it is nice to be pursued and not always pursuing.

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Well, some people look for the negative in others, some think it's reasonable not to prejudge on such slender evidence.


I'm looking at it positively -my negative response would be don't bother texting, he's not interested. So my positive response is to reach out, what's the harm. From my dating experience direct and indirect what she describes is far from slender and all too typical where the guy's interest is lukewarm. If there's an exception here she'll know if she texts him.

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definitely text him saying you are back in town and ask how hes been, then casually ask him if he fancies meeting up again. its the 21st century, a lot of guys believe that if a girl doesnt text then she isnt interested. I wish it was still the old way but it isnt always like that with some guys. If you had a good first date and agreed to keep in touch then it would be a shame to let things slide just because you both didnt initiate the next step after the first date. and you have nothing to lose!

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