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Hi Guys, I have been with my boyfriend around 15 months now. It started off as a long distance relationship but we always seen each other every couple of weeks, whether i flew over to him or him to me. It has been great and last summer he sold up EVERYTHING he had and moved over here and we've been living together ever since. He is very reserved when it comes to expressing himself emotionally, I think he's been hurt in the past, so has NEVER told me he loves me. However, Valentines just gone, he got me a card with the words "I LOVE YOU LOTS" on the front which i was thrilled with, and honestly nearly cried, when i seen it lol. The thing that is really starting to get to me though is that he doesnt kiss me?!?! When i ask him for a kiss, i will get a peck or two, maybe 3 if im lucky and that's it. We have amazing sex and the passion is definatly there but why won't he kiss me? Could this have something to do with the emotional restrictions he seems to have? Or am i just fooling myself & it's not as good i'm leading myself to believe??

 

I would really like a man's perspective on this as I love him to bits and I hope he cares the same for me.....I asked him for a kiss the other night before i fell asleep and he said "Will you stop been so lovey dovey".....I do wear my heart on my sleeve but that's just who I am.

 

Any advice would be great.........

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Some people just don't find kissing to be a big deal and can take it or leave it. I think you have one of those guys. I wouldn't attempt to read into it further and assign it to some emotional restriction you think he has. I would be WAY more concerned with the fact that you've dated a guy for 15 months, you live with him, and he doesn't tell you he loves you - that's a massive red flag.

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I highly doubt it has anything to do with him being hurt in the past, and that's why he doesn't say he loves you. As far as I know, no guy behaves like that.

And if it's true that it does have something to do with him being hurt in the past, then you've got another problem, cause it's been 15 months and he hasn't moved on.

 

Anyhow, I don't know what he's like or what he thinks. Some guys think it's not masculine to show certain emotions.

Also, in my family, I have NEVER hugged my mom or dad, NEVER said I love you or have heard it from them or seen them show each other any affection. Sometimes I wonder how the heck I was even born. My girlfriend thinks it's so weird cause her relationship with her family is so different. But when I'm with her, I'm lovey dovey and I do say and show my affection. So I dunno if his is a familial thing too.

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Thanks for the replies......i've known since we first got together that he "doesnt do emotions" but i thought this would change as time went on. His family life is less than perfect and he doesnt talk to his mam at all. His dad and him had a rocky relationship a few years back but are very close lately, even though he's still back home in the UK. He doesnt call either of them mam or dad, he calls them by their actual names which i think is really strange as I am so close to my dad and anytime I see him i give him a hug and tell him I love him etc.....

 

I speak to one of his female friends back home all the time, and i mentioned a few weeks ago that his emotional distance from me was starting to get to me. She said that he's not a really open guy. He bottles alot of stuff up and never really speaks to anyone about whats goin on in his life. She said it could be something to do with the family issues years ago and the fact he's an only child he had to just deal with it on his own. She said that this is the longest relationship he's been in a very long time and she knows he's mad about me (didnt say how she knew). She also mentioned the fact that he sold up and moved here for me. Things havent exactly gone his way since he got here & she said that if he wasnt into me, he would have gone home by now??

 

I call him Dr.Dolittle because everytime we go to a petshop, animals are just atrracted to him. Parrots do come over and let him rub their heads etc....i asked him a couple of weeks ago, how come he gets so emotionally attached to animals and not humans and he said "Cos animals won't turn their backs on you!"....this is what leads me to think he has underlying problems....

 

I just dont know. I dont want yo keep pressuring him either but the fact im so emotionally open.....i just didnt think people like this existed lol

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