shamone Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Hi, i posted yesterday, my girlfriend broke up with me yesterday saying its not working out for her. i was devistated but i handled it very well and accepted it. i then deleted her from facebook (pics/status etc). i then txtd her saying she needs to pick her clothes up from my house, then she replied in a short and cold manner. from then on i decided its time to move on and go NC. just now she texted me saying she didnt mean to be short with me last night, then added she is so sorry for the way things turned out and thanked me for being so good and caring to her while we were together. and says the last thing she wanted to do is hurt me. then told me to take care. inside i do love her but iv been torn to shreds by the breakup because i know she has made her mind up, any advice on what to do?? will i text her back tonite or leave it until the morning?? i dont want to sound upset or i dont want to sound like i miss her but also i dont want to come accross as being short because she knows im not like that and she knows i always text her back. i want to come accross as a guy thats understanding and special to her as i believe i always was. and hopefully she mite see this more clearly as time goes by and start to miss me. at the same time, im not getting hopes up, i am ready to start moving on in life. Link to comment
Chris Knows Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Let it go. We've all been there, done that. Give her space and I wouldn't even bother texting her back. If she wants her clothes, she can come get them. Link to comment
Mephisto13 Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Her apologizing had nothing to do with you. She felt guilty by dumping you. She wanted to aleviate that guilt by apologizing. She doesn't want to get back together with you. Best thing you can do is not answer. She knows where you live, she knows that she needs to pick up her clothes. Leave it at that. And keep putting up airs when she's around. Keep staying strong in front of her, be mature about it....and cry in the dark, so with your friends. And the hardest part? Try not to care... Link to comment
secondchance67 Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Her apologizing had nothing to do with you. She felt guilty by dumping you. She wanted to aleviate that guilt by apologizing. She doesn't want to get back together with you. Best thing you can do is not answer. She knows where you live, she knows that she needs to pick up her clothes. Leave it at that. And keep putting up airs when she's around. Keep staying strong in front of her, be mature about it....and cry in the dark, so with your friends. And the hardest part? Try not to care... I like the way you think sir, well played Link to comment
shamone Posted February 22, 2012 Author Share Posted February 22, 2012 your probably right, im tempted to just throw them in the fireplace Link to comment
loveseeker1 Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Very well played for sure. I wished I handled mine as well as that. Go NC not for her, but yourself! Link to comment
Scuza Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 your probably right, im tempted to just throw them in the fireplace Dammit, you beat me to saying it. Link to comment
learning2relax Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 You know....you did a fantastic job at handling it in the moment. Don't do anything. You can't make anything worse. Action equals reaction. Just let her sit with her decision to end the relationship. She feels guilty because you "accepted" it - that is why she has already apologized. Let it be. If she wants to apologize and ask you to take her back - you get to decide. If she broke up with you as an emotional response and wants to reverse it -she may think twice before taking that step again. Link to comment
shamone Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 I am suprised how well i hadled it but thats because i learned from my last relationship that chasing it does not get you anywhere!! I have one more question! A good friend of hers is coming over to collect her clothes, she is also a friend of mine and there is no doubt she will let my ex know how i am.. how do i act? what to say? will i say nothing?? Link to comment
learning2relax Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 You handle it as a transaction. If your mutual friend asks you how you are doing....if I was in your shoes, I might say something along the lines of....I am doing as well as can be expected. While I don't agree with her decision, I respect that it is what she wants. I wouldn't tell her that you are devastated. I would assume that anything you say will get repeated or paraphrased back to her. In similar fashion, you don't want to be talking up how you are going to see other people etc, in an attempt to make her jealous - those games can back fire quickly. I would thank your friend for helping out given the circumstances. Try and keep it short and sweet so that you stay consistent with how you handled the breakup with your ex. Basically, you are respectful but are doing everything to be respectful of her while doing what you need to do to for yourself. Try not to get in a position where you get defensive or emotional - just stay on the path about respecting your ex's decision to end the relationship and working to move on with your life given that decision - calm, caring and consistent. That is what I would try and do. If it is too much for you right now, you could always keep it short in making the exchange. Thank her for helping out and then excusing yourself from being able to stay and chat more as you have an errand to run or an appt or friend to see, etc... Link to comment
shamone Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 thanks for that, it does sound like the mature thing to do. im going to say something along the lines of im shocked about the whole thing i didnt realise things were bad but its her decision and that i can only respect that and move on! and act upbeat and happy! thats it for me anyway, i think its best now that if she ever gets in contact with me im going to ignore it, as harsh as it sounds she has to realise she has made her decision and im not looking for any kind of friendship. unless its something obvious that she wants to get back. time to move on! what do you think? Link to comment
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