ghengisT Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Hi ENA- I recently broke up w/ my girlfriend shy of our 4yr mark. She told me she loves me but not in love w/ me. I've been LC/NC for a couple weeks now. She thinks I'm upset with her, even though I've told her that I have no resentment & am appreciative of the things we've learned from each other. I've also said things encouraging her to move on, such as "life is short, we owe it to ourselves to be happy". I know 2wks isn't long, and I'm doing well, working on my own goals, etc. I feel pretty free, and now recognize things that were missing from my relationship. The unconditional love factor towards me faded in & out over the last year, but who's to say it wasn't there if she wasn't 100% attracted to me for the last year. Also, my maturity level is a bit higher. I live on my own, take care of business, have a good job. With all the things I'm doing, it was easy to loose sight of my fitness goals (got chubby ). She's still living w/ mom & dad, but has a good job & a new car payment. We're both young at 24. Pushing her loss of attraction aside (i know it's major), and reflecting on the attributes of our relationship, values, morals, etc- It was a very good relationship (in my eyes). We went 2-3 years before any fights, she broke up for a day at the 3yr mark.. and a few drunken bouts on both of our parts. We we're always quick to resolve conflict, and I know she still loves me very much, considers me her best friend, etc. Looking at the past year, I think I've had one foot out the door the entire time. I'm also looking at the activities I enjoy, that I couldn't get her to do with me. Most of our time together were activities she likes. We both like eating I want her in my life, but at what cost? Should I take the occurrence of this event as a sign that when we're 40yrs old, and out of shape, she won't be able to hang on to the unconditional love that holds couples together? Going forward, I won't let my activities slip away (hiking, muay-thai, camping, friends). Should I even focus on giving it another shot, if she wants to reconcile? See my thread for more insight: Link to comment
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