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How can I help my friend


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A very good friend of mine ended a 4 year relationship 6 weeks ago within a few days he was with another woman who he decided was the one he wanted to spend his life with, he now has decided to give this woman complete access to his life, email passwords, full access to his phone etc he believes this is how you get to trust someone. He has also decided it would be wrong to have any communication with any females as she would finish it with him if she even saw my name or any other womans in his phone. Does this sound like healthy and trustful behaviour? We have been very good friends for 5 years and I am very worried about him and want to continue to support him. Can you advise me if this is right behaviour ?

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There are certain lines you shouldn't cross as friends and I don't think you are asking for advice if this is right behavior. You are asking if you should talk to him about the new woman he is seeing, and the answer is no. You are better off not interfering. If things work out between your friend and his new gf you will be forever on record saying that they're not a good match. If things don't work out you will be on record supporting his decisions, although you can then let him know what you were thinking.

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I understand what you are saying and I certainly do not what to interfere with his relationship I am worried about his mental state he was very low after his break up, he is very gullible in some ways concerning women. I worry what other details or access he has given this woman who he hardly knows. I have also had emails about her from his other friends saying she is not what she pretends to be, I certainly have no intention of telling him this, but if he cuts off all contact how can I help him in any way.

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People need to learn from their mistakes. Unfortunately lukeb is right, this is a no win situation. However the lessor of two evils is to keep quiet and let him do this on his own. You are a good friend, I can tell, and it will be hard for you to watch. He wasn't ready for a relationship yet, and therefore didn't take the time to evaluate what went wrong .... this doesn't sound to promising, but it's not for you to decide


I know it sucks. If he is a good friend, and happens to cut things off ... he'll come back at some point when things don't work out. However, leaving him be to make his own mistakes is the only way you can help.


Good luck,


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