Heidern Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Broke up at the end of August last year after being together for 6 years (got dumped 3 times by her during that time before getting engaged for the last 2 years). She swore to me that she wasn't leaving me for someone else but -surprise surprise- she is now dating the same guy she started talking to 5 months before she dumped me. She's 24 and the new guy is 19 (yikes!). I was her first boyfriend and she was my first girlfriend, and I was kinda hoping she would be my last as well. I'm 26. So, how am I feeling? Well, I got strung along for a couple of months -till about middle of December- when I finally had enough of it and let my frustration out. The end of last year and beginning of this year were just absolutely awful, but I'm slowly regaining my will to do things. 15 days of strict NC at the beginning of January helped me a lot, and since then I've only talked to her once about 3 weeks ago. When we talked I managed to control my emotions and didn't say anything stupid, and told her that I wanted to bury the hatchet (despite not being the person who ended the relationship). I've gone from reading their Facebook conversations (sent to me by a girl who liked him after our BU) on a daily-basis to now avoiding anything that reminds me of her. This last week was a tough one as I spent some time thinking about her complaints when we were still together (her biggest complaint being that I didn't take enough chances as she felt she was the one pushing me around to do things) and looked through some of her things. I realize that in a way she was right: I wasn't very good when it came to making big decisions. I'm the kind of guy who measures once, then twice, then three times, then finally a fourth time before cutting. I've been working on that and preparing myself for some big decisions that I hope I can make by the end of the year (i.e. move out, get a better job, finish school). So that's that. I've been hanging out with a good friend of mine for the last couple of months. She's also going through a tough break-up, the biggest difference being that her ex was verbally abusive and treated her like crap. Going out and doing different things with her certainly helps. I'm not the outgoing type, but I'm learning that it's something I need to change for my own good. I'm going to pick up photography and start hitting the gym once again -neck injuries suck, especially when they last a month! So my goals are set, I'm slowly gathering energy to do everything on my list. First up is quitting my job, something I've been meaning to do for quite a while. Wish me luck What have I learned so far? Never trust anyone, and that includes myself. My heart kept telling me to go after her, but now I can appreciate how stupid that was. I've learned that people move on at different speeds, and I say this because she is 100% over me (she's with the other dude so yeah) whereas I'm nowhere near that figure. 6 years down the drain, but at least I managed to get something good out of it. I've always known that I'm nowhere near perfect, that I need to take care of several issues before I jump into a relationship again. I think my personality is OK, but some things need to go (i.e. laziness, indifference towards others, etc.) I'm currently not interested in anybody, but I'm sure one day I'll experience love again... Love seems to show up when I least need it. That's how it was the first and only time, I was pretty damn happy being by myself when it hit me Good luck everybody. Remember that you're the most important in your life, so treat yourself to some happiness Link to comment
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