Blue Spiral Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 Let me start by saying that this isn't a joke, though it really should be. I'm not a particularly social person. When I'm forced to go out into the world, I do whatever I need to and get back home as quickly as I can. I'm virtually never in group social settings, unless it's a store or something along those lines. I don't talk with anyone unnecessarily, I try to avoid eye-contact, and I definitely don't flirt. I'm gloriously incapable of in-person flirting with strangers. Thanks to all this--and thanks to a lack of attractive qualities on my part--I've been flirted with by strangers less than ten times in my life. And the flirting isn't even strong, it's prolonged eye-contact/a certain facial expression or something equally minor. (I've been told by women that more are trying to flirt with me, but my social skills suck, so I can't see any of it. The instances I'm referring to are the obvious-enough-for-me-to-notice ones.) I say all that to say this: the women that have flirted with me are wildly inappropriate. I'm talking older and married, dangerously-young-looking, and, most frequently, pregnant. I kid you not. In the last ten years, I've been...checked out by five or six pregnant women. That may not sound like a lot, but it's over half of all the strangers that have flirted with me. Even with my lack of social awareness, I'm positive that I'm not imagining it or reading into it. In some cases, they've actually tried to start conversations with me, and my primary self-defense mechanism (avoidance) has kicked in and saved me. These women have ranged in age from late teens to early thirties. Obviously, the irony is that I don't want kids, and don't even believe in marriage (and, on some days, monogamy). I know I'm not sending out any signals to them--I'm just sitting there minding my own business, or trying to get something annoying (like shopping) over with. I bring this up because it just happened again, a few days ago. Unfortunately, for "offline world" reasons, I'll be forced to be around this particular pregnant woman in the future. Is this a glitch? Is there some explanation, or some way that I can make it stop? The only explanation I've been able to think of is that I'm very "safe"-looking, in terms of being harmless and non-threatening. Despite my lack of maturity and complete inability to be monogamous, I am extremely trustworthy and kind, and please stop laughing now. I can't tell you how many of my FWBs have told me that I've saved their lives, or that they don't know what they'd do without me. I'm a reliable, nice, non-evil person, basically. Am I coming off as a potential provider-type? Am I sending out signals that I'm not even aware of? I rarely ask for advice, but please, have at it. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 It might be as you said, you look 'safe and loyal'. I would imagine these women have had horrible experiences that they are pregnant and looking at other men, they want safe men that look like they might not go wandering off (which you might be hinting at by not looking "bad" or being loose with your eyes and flirting- which i tend to be also). if there is attraction there, then they might make a play. I dont look safe though (from what i have been told), and i met an ex when she was pregnant. We had a sort of hollywood cheap movie thing going on where i was her shoulder to cry on and i kept falling for her. We ended up going out after she gave birth, and i was playing 'daddy' for a year. I am sure after she got to know me her mind started computing a safe future of loyalty and commitment. Link to comment
22n32 Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 In the words of kenny powers.. whos gonna wanna stick a pregnat chick... lol kidding aside.. its prob a combo of them wanting to feel sexy and recive attention and espically from a younger guy.. makes them feel special and sexy.. i know someone women dont feel as attractive or sexy when pregnat.. even though i think they do. not any random pregnet chick.. but i know my wife will be extra sexy to me carrying our child.. and u might look harmless and safe.. Link to comment
Liraele Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 I'm sorry, your post totally made me laugh. Despite my lack of maturity and complete inability to be monogamous, I am extremely trustworthy and kind, and please stop laughing now. I can't tell you how many of my FWBs have told me that I've saved their lives, or that they don't know what they'd do without me. I'm a reliable, nice, non-evil person, basically. Not AT you, mind you... just... hehe. Ok, ok, anyway... I have no idea what "signal" you're putting out there. Maybe these women think you're self-conscious and so being friendly/smiley/flirty at you will boost your self-esteem or... something. Honestly, not a clue. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 lol. Why does this bother you at all? Some people are going to flirt with you, inappropriate or not, because you are around human beings. What made me giggle was "some of them even try to start conversations". OMG. SO? If they do, what's the harm? It's not like you have to date them or mate them. Tell em to have a good day and be on your way.... A compliment is a compliment. At least that is how I choose to see it. Other people see you as attractive. Cool. Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 Getting hit on by woman is rare, getting hit on hot preggo woman is another level. I remember one time at a restaurant I saw this woman, she was preggo but man I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. It wasn't just me, my buddy agreed she looked good too. Preggo women are still women, just because they are preggo doesn't mean they can't check you out or vice versa. No I don't have a preggo fetish either.. Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted February 21, 2012 Author Share Posted February 21, 2012 Thor and 22: Yeah, I definitely look harmless and safe. They've probably had bad experiences with men, even if it's not the man that got them pregnant...maybe they have it in the back of their mind that they need a fall-back option? Liraele: As you guessed, I'm self-conscious and have low self-esteem, so I wouldn't be surprised if women took pity on me. But why just pregnant/other inappropriate women? itsallgrand: my social skills are extremely rusty (and were nearly non-existent to begin with), so when people try to start a conversation with me (and I haven't had time to get to know them online), I have basically no idea what to do. I've tried to think of it as a compliment, but the freaky aspect makes that a little difficult. Thanks for the advice, all. My current idea for a solution is to avoid being in public even more than I already am...which, granted, I was planning to do anyway. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 I'm definitely on the flip side of you. I definitely don't act or look like a "safe guy" to date at first. It's bad enough where my ex's parents warned her that I would cheat on her eventually just based of their first impressions. Awesome. I've never had the experience where an older/pregnant woman has ever come onto me like that. I can't give you a reason why, I'm probably the same as you but I come accross to people as a bit more aggressive. It's just the nature of attraction, unquantifiable. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 Are you sure the pregnant women are single? I know a lot of pregnant women take their ring off at a certain time in their pregnancy or they won't be able to get it off. And they put it back on after birth and after the swelling goes down. So just because there is no ring doesn't mean they are not married. Also, pregnant women are not dead and with all those hormones coursing through, maybe they just are checking out guys. there is no harm in looking! Some women also stare if you are wearing something odd, too, btw. Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted February 22, 2012 Author Share Posted February 22, 2012 Are you sure the pregnant women are single? I know a lot of pregnant women take their ring off at a certain time in their pregnancy or they won't be able to get it off. And they put it back on after birth and after the swelling goes down. So just because there is no ring doesn't mean they are not married. Also, pregnant women are not dead and with all those hormones coursing through, maybe they just are checking out guys. there is no harm in looking! I have no idea if they're single or not, I never look for rings. And, yeah, I did think about the hormones explanation. Some women also stare if you are wearing something odd, too, btw. My fashion sense is...not the best, but I don't wear anything unusual. Link to comment
Liraele Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Liraele: As you guessed, I'm self-conscious and have low self-esteem, so I wouldn't be surprised if women took pity on me. But why just pregnant/other inappropriate women? Maybe you're only noticing it because you consider it inappropriate. Having low self-esteem, you may not notice the "appropriate" types because by nature of being self-conscious, you think they wouldn't be interested. Just taking a stab in the dark. Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted February 22, 2012 Author Share Posted February 22, 2012 Maybe you're only noticing it because you consider it inappropriate. Having low self-esteem, you may not notice the "appropriate" types because by nature of being self-conscious, you think they wouldn't be interested. Just taking a stab in the dark. I think you're half-right. I honestly think I'm just generally oblivious, and the only reason I notice it is when the women are unusual somehow. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 The problem is that unless you have answers from these pregnant women why the choose to flirt with you then we can only speculate. It could be as simple as these women thought you were cute or though something about you was striking. Without more information it is hard to tell. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Well, if one of them is ever single, you can be pretty sure you won't get her pregnant if you decide to go there. Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted February 23, 2012 Author Share Posted February 23, 2012 Well, if one of them is ever single, you can be pretty sure you won't get her pregnant if you decide to go there. I've never understood how anyone can do that. I know you're kidding, but, my god, that's way too squicky for me. Link to comment
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