bekah Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 Im going to throw this out there because I think it probably does affect my dating history. 28 yrs old never married no kids university graduate lost virginity at age 20 or 21 to someone I dated like a rollercoaster for 3+ years we did love each other. Slept with 5 people so far. Have hooked up w people while drunk. Do consider myself religious/spiritual have a relationship with God. Was sexually abused as a kid, do find I have an abnormal sexual desire compared to other females, yet I am much less sexually active than my peers if not in a relationship or monogomous setting. I recently went over year with no sex or anything not even a kiss. I then met a guy I really fell for (he had fallen for me first but I fell soon after) we waited a while but did have sex at some point he went into a depression and our sex life was the main thing we had and it was a great one. Well he basically lived with me due to the economy and our mutal connections so it was hard to end it when I wasnt getting the relationship I also wanted with the great sex. At some point he moved out and started seeing a 19 year old who from what I heard pops pills and has had a lot of sex but could be rumors either way I guess they are waiting to have sex ad he had done with the girlfriend before me for several months longer than he and I waited. It gives him satisfaction I guess. Meanwhile he has hooked up with other people before me and after me so isnt all that innocent. Hes 25 btw. He also stated that I was the most sexually compatible person hes ever been with including the girl he had waited for so long (this was said before we split up of course)> Future forward a mutual friend of ours really likes me and I had offered to pick him up some sermons from church since he couldnt attend. He posted something about a virtous woman being hard to find and a scripture. My ex posted back hard but not impossible. I feel really offended by his comment because its implying that I wasn't virtous just because he and I had sex (yet hes had sex, his gf has had sex and shes younger than I was before I lost my virginity so I don't see how he can pretend all the other girls hes met werent virtuous but now he found one who is!) Im so confused I dont think the fact that we had sex makes me the only non-virtous person in fact I had stopped sleeping with him because he said he felt guilty about it and I did too but I also knew hed end up sleeping with someone if it wasn't me and I was right- and I didn't sleep with anyone else. I was also the one willing to make things work at all times because God had placed him in my life only when he chose to leave did I stop trying becuase I know God will only put people there while he wants them there if he wanted us together we could have found a way or would bring him back more mature in the future. SO back to me...I get the idea that guys find it more attactive when a girl waits longer, yet they encourage the other behavior. I find myself to usually wait a proper amount of time but I still feel my exes usually end up dating younger girls after me and ones that are waiting to have sex with them...Part of me thinks maybe I should be waiting longer and the other part says its not working even when I wait I have friends who hook up immediately and end up married...any thoughts...I am considering going to visit a friend of mine out of town (we will probably end up sleeping together if I go) I went to jr high with him but have only been on one date since. I like him but am just thinking I really am wanting a hook up situation. I try to to the right things and they backfire (I'm not trying to do the opposite I just simply want to have some fun as I've been celibate now for a while again) I know religously its a step backward but I feel I want some fun... Link to comment
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