Very Unsure and Confused...

[maknott]

Well I've written hear before but the short story is my girlfriend of one year broke up with me since I was going through emotional difficulties and I told her that I wanted to kill myself. She said I needed to stand alone and figure things out. I've been trying my best by seeing a therapist once a week, reading various books, doing some work outside the home, etc. I do feel better and honestly I wasn't heart broken about the break up since I had been feeling for awhile that she didn't really understand me, nor did she have any desire to. Anyway, about two weeks ago she sends me an e-mail saying that she hopes I am doing well and that she still loves me and misses me. I really had no intention of communicating with her again but I ended up e-mailing her back and told her that I was doing better and that I still loved her and missed her as well. Days went by, eventually she called me and we chatted, mostly about her (as always), and what she has been up to. I send her a little birthday gift since we live far from each other and she called to thank me. A week or so later she called me and asked to video chat so we did, she seemed happy to see me and she seemed to drop the hint that she may possibly want to get back together (saying stuff like, "If it's meant to be it will happen" and when I almost called her by her pet name I changed it to something else, she said, "Well, for now..." Anyway, the advice I'm looking for is should I bother to keep communicating with her, I kind of feel strung along since she tells me about all the fun she's having going out with her friends to bars, parties, etc and I don't really get to talk about the positive things in my life. I don't think I would mind getting back together but it has always felt very one-sided in the relationship and that's not what I want anymore. Obviously saying that would simply drive her away fast but she does seem receptive to getting back together. What do you think?

[Jaylin]

Well, I'm still bit victim of bit ambiguity. I meant, you still misses her and want her but you don't want to get back.

Would you like to marry with her?

I think, it will just like a therapy. Be cool and think about it again.

regards

[maknott]

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I still do her miss her but I have felt hurt and wronged in the past so it's difficult to move on...especially when she calls me and tells me that she loves me.

Thanks

[jacqueline45]

I feel that you should keep seeing your therapist because I think this is making you more depressed. I know how it feels when someone and they appear happy with their life and then on the other hand they are missing you as well. I agree thin about it again. But continue to seek professional help. It seems uhhealthy to put yourself through this merry go round. I do not know if long distance relationships are always good.

[maknott]

While I definitely agree that it is unhealthy to put myself on this never ending merry go round it is hard for me to let go and move on because she contacts me and says these things. I felt like I may have been on the right track before she contacted me again but now it's just so much more complicated. One part of me just wants to let the phone ring every time she calls but another part wins out and I end up picking up the phone. Another thing that she said to me was that I was still her best friend and she wanted to remain friends, she said that when she broke it off. I wouldn't have a problem with that but by saying she misses and loves me it leads me to think that this isn't just a simple friendship. I guess what I wanted was closure but it seems like I will never get that...either we'll get back together or we'll continue this constant contact thing until she finds someone new or just gets plain bored with it all.

Thanks for everybody's help!