Tanzi Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 I can't quite believe I'm typing this. It follows on from this thread: In summary my 16 year old daughter's bf (also 16) took my debit card from my purse and withdrew some money from it. It was only £30. There was, however, a possibility that he had done it before and that he had also taken some money from the house prior to this. I couldn't be sure of the latter two incidents so I had to discount those. I can go on auto-pilot sometimes and at the time the money went missing from the house I told myself I must have dipped into it and forgotten ... but £60 is a lot to borrow without remembering. It was only after my daughter's bf withdrew the money from my account and eventually came clean about it (the evidence was stacked heavily against him) that I realised there was a huge possibility that he took the other money too. I told him I suspected him of this but he denied it. I said that suspecting him was a consequence of what he had done. Anyhow as things stood I gave him the opportunity to tell his parents what he had done. Both my daughter and I were worried that he had been developing a "taste" for gambling and that he needed help more than anything else. But I've been so silly. I let things slide. I've been weak and now I'm paying the price ... literally. The time came and went that he was meant to tell his parents. My daughter had gone over to her bf's and they were going to tell her parents together. She was keeping me updated by text. He spoke to them about his gambling (they were already aware to a degree that he was gambling) and they said they were going to keep a watchful eye over him. However when it came to telling them about taking money from me, he just couldn't do it. I gave them both another opportunity but that came and went. Days and then weeks were going by and I was pushing the situation further and further into the background of my mind. I reasoned with myself that I had so much else going on in my own life that I needed to focus on that facing his parents was just something else that I really didn't need to put MYSELF through as I had since found out that his father was a very strong yet rather unreasonable character. I knew that it would be hard for them to take in and that I would bear the brunt of their emotions. Eventually I lost the strength to put myself through it. He has been very remourseful since and has paid me the money back. He also hasn't set foot inside a bookies since .... apparently. So this brings me to now. He doesn't spend much time here anymore. He certainly doesn't come over when my bf is here as my bf is still refusing to have anything to do with him. He is standing firm on our behalf, he says. "I'm not a pushover" he also said. He believes that he isn't genuinely sorry ... and he is probably right. Nevertheless, my daughter continued to see him. I didn't see how it would help to force her NOT too. We both believed he had a problem and that he was now dealing with it. He popped in here yesterday. He was meeting his friend (the one he used to go to the bookies with). He had been avoiding him lately. His friend thought he was a "p*ssy" for not going to the bookies anymore just because he had been caught stealing from me! This boy steals from his own mum. Not a great friend to have. Anyhow he had starting spend more time with him again and after meeting up with him yesterday they both came to my house to see my daughter. I was on my way out, picking my youngest daughter up from school, and they had gone by the time I had got back. This morning £80 has gone missing from my house! This is where I am at. After spending the morning at the vets because my cat has been seriously injured I came home to this. He was here at that point. Passing by again. I approached both him and my daughter straight away. A huge row developed. My daughter won't have it that I have any right to accuse him. She swore at me and they have both left the house. The only thing he said was "I am fed up with your accusations"!! I am now trying to work out where that money could have gone but I know I haven't done anything with it. It should be where I left it. I shouldn't have left it there. It was in the same place where the money was the last time it went missing. I wasn't going to leave it there for long and I figured that he would be stupid to take it again .. if he took it the last time that is. I wasn't expecting it to go missing, I really wasn't. I don't know what to think. He is denying it. My daughter is distraught at my accusations. They've both gone. Is it likely that he has taken it? How can I prove anything? What do I do now? I feel so stupid. So weak. So lost right now. I can't tell my boyfriend, he will blow a gasket ... and see me for the weak person that I have been. Link to comment
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