Do single women head out to bars/clubs expecting to find a potential boyfriend?

[fromzerotohero]

I am of the view that men and women enjoy sex and that it's a natural thing. It is no secret that some men and women do go out to just look for someone to hook up with for the night or something very short term. I am NOT saying that ALL men and women do this, but a large number do.

 

However, I question whether there are women out there that go out with the belief that they will meet a potential long term partner. I do go out to find women that I could potentially date for something longer term and am not interested in just having a one night stand for the sake of getting some action.

[Seraphim]

I never did. I never would. I found my husband at University.

[FathomFear]

Most people I know who do the club thing are just in it for fun/hookups, not so much LTRs. I am sure that varies by individual though.

[annie24]

I wouldn't say I go somewhere expecting to find a boyfriend. If a man approached me in a bar and wanted to take me out on a date, that would be fine, and I have dated guys I met at bars. However, I won't say that I walk in expecting to find a potential boyfriend. It's nice if it happens, but expectations can be bad.

[Batya33]

I am of the view that men and women enjoy sex and that it's a natural thing. It is no secret that some men and women do go out to just look for someone to hook up with for the night or something very short term. I am NOT saying that ALL men and women do this, but a large number do.

 

However, I question whether there are women out there that go out with the belief that they will meet a potential long term partner. I do go out to find women that I could potentially date for something longer term and am not interested in just having a one night stand for the sake of getting some action.

 

 

I think it's natural to enjoy sex and a choice as to when and whether to have sex. Just like all natural urges.

[buddha55]

I don't think it's an optimal place to find someone, as a lot of people do have intentions of purely a hook-up or fun night, but I met my boyfriend at a house party through mutual friends and know people who have met at bars.

[jacqueline45]

I know some people who have met at bars but one night stands and hook ups usually leave people feeling empty and guilty the next morning. I think most women deep down inside are looking for LTR's and once they do that they feel bad the next morning. Or at least I have before. So I do not even go to bars anymore been years. Never looked at those men as anything serious. I agree normally in college or some place of substance is the best place if you want someone who is decent and respects you.

[StarFright]

My opinion may be bias for a few reasons.

 

1. I'm not that into drinking

and

2. I'm still in college.

 

That being said, most of my boyfriends in the past have either been through college, one was a old crush I re-connected with from grade school, and most of my flings or short-termers were from online dating sites.

 

I was raised to avoid bars as potential meet-up places. My parents were both heavy into the bar scene when they were younger and are overly cautious of me going down a similar path. Plus, just by experience alone I don't find bars or clubs at all to be a place for scouting long-term relationships. Most people are there to have a good time, in some cases they are also drunk so I never know if I'm actually knowing "Jim" or just inebriated or even slightly buzzed "Jim", that he is actually that way without alcohol. When I'm looking in LTR's, I'm not usually trying to go to those places to find them. As a matter of fact, at this point I've stopped "looking" in general - it's always best to find someone in a natural state and not with their game face on, so to speak.

Perhaps though, that is just me.

 

If I *were* to look for a LTR, I would keep doing what I'm doing so now - school, set-ups through friends, the gym, anywhere were I feel the sort of guy I'd want to date would be.

[blueplanet22]

Firstly if I do venture to a club, its usually to have a good time/laugh/boogie with my friends.

 

That said, however I am confident and comfortable enough for a hook up if I so pleased. Its not what I want, as I'd like a relationship but I do not look for potential suitors in places like these.

 

A hook up, is just that, means nothing, sometimes if you are in the right emotional place, it just serves a purpose.

[annie24]

And I met a lot of men in college who wanted nothing to do with serious relationships - they just wanted a hookup.

 

Honestly, I wouldn't say "people who go to bars want this or that...." because everyone is different. And yes, people who go to university, the the gym, to the grocery store, also go to bars! So it's not like someone is a quality person if you meet them at a class, but a few hours later, they are no longer a quality person at the bar.

 

There is the factor of alcohol which lowers inhibitions. But as long as you remember that, I don't see any reason to discount someone you meet at a bar.

[itsallgrand]

I have had some women/girls tell me they ARE going to the clubs/bars and they ARE looking for something long term.

 

I never took that approach. I think it's a really dicey way to go about looking for a bf/gf. Not that it never happens, but it's like if you are looking to start eating healthier - it's better not to go to McDonalds and then turn around and complain that somehow you got a BigMac in your mouth. If you are serious about it, go where the environment is in key and makes things easier, not harder.

[buddha55]

hehe... i think the gym is worse than a bar...

[laninaperdida]

I go to the club for the following reasons:

 

1. To spend time with my GFS

2. To get hit on and feel better about myself

3. To impress (dresses and heels go a long way) a guy I'm interested in whom I've met someone other than the club.

(This is when our group has agreed on a night out together.)

 

I can't meet a guy in the cub, lol.

Will never take them seriously.

Wish my GFS would understand this.

They devote so much time to going to the club that if they spend more time at the gym or playing a sport they'd have more success.

[rainbows1]

I would go to clubs with the intention of meeting someone which could turn into something more. I wouldn't go to a club/bar to hook up and have sex because its not for me. I guess if I were to go to a club to meet a potential partner, it would be someone nice looking because when the music is so loud you're not looking for personality to shine through you're looking at them physically - shallow as that is. But, i'd then hope for there to be more than what meets the eye, if they were all looks and no personality, then I wouldn't stick around.

[StarFright]

And I met a lot of men in college who wanted nothing to do with serious relationships - they just wanted a hookup.

 

Honestly, I wouldn't say "people who go to bars want this or that...." because everyone is different. And yes, people who go to university, the the gym, to the grocery store, also go to bars! So it's not like someone is a quality person if you meet them at a class, but a few hours later, they are no longer a quality person at the bar.

 

There is the factor of alcohol which lowers inhibitions. But as long as you remember that, I don't see any reason to discount someone you meet at a bar.

 

Just speaking for myself here, I would never automatically discount a guy if I met him at a bar, however I would never go to a bar with intentions of meeting someone.

 

The reason I personally chose school, or the gym is because I know in those situations I already have a commonality with whatever guy I talk to. Even at the gym, which could yield a lot a of "creepers", if I do meet someone there I'll at least know he is health conscious, which I also am.

 

Not saying anything outside of these is bad, just that it's an automatic thing we share. It is a preference. But even still, I don't go to those places to look for someone as I would rather just let something like that happen. If I were looking, though, those would probably be the first choices for me is all I'm saying.

I don't drink often at all, as a matter of fact I've never been drunk. So for me being in a bar is like someone who prefers to not read books trying to find someone in a library. Impossible? No, but my chances of finding Mr. Right in such an environment are pretty slim.

 

And if it makes a difference, the bars in my area are notorious for going to get wasted, hook-up, and just party in general. Perhaps I have a preconceived notion of all bars because of this.

 

Bars aren't bad, but for me, why go to a place like that with intentions of finding an LTR when I myself can't even really enjoy them? I would never look at a bar as a place for me to meet a guy for a serious relationship.

[drmcsugar]

I never did, but I met the guy I am sort of dating seriously in a lounge. I never saw it coming, never expected it, I thought our companionship was a joke for the first 6 months, but we're slowly getting serious now. So I guess, it's different for everyone.