What should I expect? Or what is to come?

[Tryan4211]

Ive posted before on this website on a few minor problems ive had, but this has to be the one that i really need advice in.. I was happily in a relationship with my girlfriend for over 10 months. We are very serious with eachother, but we also havent crossed over that constant fighting phase yet. I have 'broken' up with her on thanksgiving night, and i quickly took her back. (in the next hour), the other day on Thursday, thats when hell broke loose and its been really hard up until today. I broke up with her again because she has been very unfair with me and ive became suspicious and got upset with her, because on Thursday, she didnt want to come over to see me before she went to work, she claimed she was very tired and wanted to sleep the next hour and a half? But we hardly ever see eachother that much anymore except school, and maybe an hour after she gets off work, but thats it.. Things have kind of really gone down hill ever since she moved back in with her mom in our town, she lived with her dad during the summer and through the winter, but some serious problems with her and her dad went on so she moved back.. but back to what i was talking about,, after her and I kind of got over that fight we were walking in the hall and a girl that she hates comes by and says "Hi, ryan!" and i just said "hey" but without any kind of ambition in how i said it. but then she kind of yelled at me and asked why i said hi to her, and i told her because i was being polite, and i dont want to be an * * * * * * * .. Then she said she should make guy friends just to make me jealous.. thats when i ended it with her.. After about 2 hours, i wanted her back.. I had claimed i over reacted, and that i shouldnt of broken up with her.

 

She and I had a one on one talk at my house, and things were.. "better" I was convinced that everything was worked out and that i had nothing to worry about. But Saturday night at about 2:30 in the morning (I had to get up for work at 6:30) but she texted me and said "Ive been thinking" (Oh i almost forgot, when we talked it through, she said that she wouldnt take me back "ALL the way, until i proved her wrong" but then she texted me saying this, and she told me that she is confused and she doesnt know if she is ready? which i dont know what she means by this.. but i she said that her mom says that she doesnt want her to go through what she went through in highschool, which was she had Taylor, and graduated highschool, then married her dad for a couple years, but then had a divorce.. well we had a big fight, and i was in so much pain and didnt go to bed until 3:30 then got up at 6:30 and worked 8 hours.. well on my lunch break, she was still being very mean, and saying i was over exaggerating on things her mom was saying.. she kept cussing at me through text.. i havent seen her since friday, but i broke up with her again (BIGGEST MISTAKE) .. i just didnt think we would get better.. but then, after thinking while i worked.. i couldnt leave her.. i texted her, and told her i wanted her back.. things have been so mixed up.. and crazy.. my dad, EVERY one has been trying to pull me through.. but she told me she wants time to herself, so that means, me not texting her and seeing her.. she just needs time away from me, and sees where it goes.. She has went complete cold turkey on me, and i dont know what is to come next.. Im heart broken but still wanting her, i went to a party with some friends, and i was sober, but everyone was drunk and high on shrooms, but there was girls there, and i did nothing, so she can trust me right? and i can trust myself not to do things with girls.. but the point is

 

I have the slightest feeling she will say that its better off we are alone.. I want her so bad, and im willing to wait for us.. but idk why she is cold turkey.. does she want to see me? does she think about me? Is it even hard for her? im in so much pain.. please help!

[Ginna]

The main problem is... you break up too much.

Certain proclamations need to be said only sparingly and only when really meant.

 

Example: If you often say "I love you" to your girlfriend, your goldfish, your hairdresser and your hamburger, the words will stop meaning anything.

 

If you break up with her every day, it will stop meaning anything.

One day, if you really want to break up, it will be impossible. Your girlfriend won't believe you; she will think she can always persuade you to get back together, if she tries hard enough.

 

The girl must be so confused about you right now!

[Tryan4211]

yeah, i just think without acting, i may feel so strongly that i want it to end, but then hours go by, and i just cant, i cant let her go.. i think of all the moments we shared together, and what we went through.. i just cant let her out of my life.. i dont want to.

[Ginna]

Just make up your mind.

Either end it for good, and start a strict no-contact... Or do not threaten her with the breakups.

This pattern is destroying the both of you.

[Tryan4211]

what do you mean no-contact? We are already on a break as it is.. im just wondering whether she still loves me and wants to save us, or just end it

[Ginna]

what do you mean no-contact? We are already on a break as it is.. im just wondering whether she still loves me and wants to save us, or just end it

I believe she loves you. She just isn't sure that you love her. She is confused and sick of being dumped on a daily basis. (But that is just my opinion.)

[tintop]

Relationships shouldn't be that stressful...

[Ms Darcy]

yeah, i just think without acting, i may feel so strongly that i want it to end, but then hours go by, and i just cant, i cant let her go.. i think of all the moments we shared together, and what we went through..

 

I would not put up with that type of behavior and I'm glad she's finally putting a stop to it. You need time to grow up and start thinking before you. as you deal with this break up, start learning how to resolve conflict better. You might even want to consider therapy.