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Was I being too selfish? He took it as ultimatum


curious98

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I think you should just stay cool for now and wait and see what happens. It sort of doesn't really add up to me - I think he did and probably still does like you a lot.

 

 

I will try to talk to him this Thur/ Fri if he doesn't call me first. I'm a little bit scared how he will react.

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Good Luck Curioius. I personally think you could only gain by that - even if you don't get back together. Just a suggestion - If it was me and I was thinking straight, I'd go in with the approach of encouraging him to open up and speak truthfully, and that may only be achievable if it is at his pace. You know, before you could do that, he would need to feel safe, and that may not be possible in just one conversation/meeting.

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Good Luck Curioius. I personally think you could only gain by that - even if you don't get back together. Just a suggestion - If it was me and I was thinking straight, I'd go in with the approach of encouraging him to open up and speak truthfully, and that may only be achievable if it is at his pace. You know, before you could do that, he would need to feel safe, and that may not be possible in just one conversation/meeting.

 

Great point. Then, should I send him a text that the door is open if he wants to talk about what is on his mind? So he knows I am not mad at him and willing to listen to him. I don't really like sending a text like that but I am a bit scared to call him. I cannot deny there is a good chance he really gave a lot of thought into breaking up and doesn't want anything anymore.

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Great point. Then, should I send him a text that the door is open if he wants to talk about what is on his mind? So he knows I am not mad at him and willing to listen to him. I don't really like sending a text like that but I am a bit scared to call him. I cannot deny there is a good chance he really gave a lot of thought into breaking up and doesn't want anything anymore.

 

I think a text telling him the door is open if he wants to speak with you might be an idea worth considering. Yes, there is a possibility that he did give it a lot of thought, but by your own account, he seemed to come to that decision fairly quickly - so that may or may not be the case. There is the possibility that you could be further hurt, and I think you would need to prepare yourself in case it does turn out that way. The question you need to ask yourself is if you want and feel able to take that risk - do you think he is worth it? Maybe some of the men who have been on this thread can better advise you about how a man might best be approached. A while back, I did have a look at a website by Al Turtle which has been popular with a lot of people at ENA, and not really certain what he would advise, though I do recall him advising about what he felt were the most appropriate ways to maintain a type of low contact - a way which is non-threatening to him, which is less likely to adversely affect your own sense of self-dignity and which is likely to be more conducive to honest communication further down the track.

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